Husband has to choose between child and wife [sad]

[Lifeinagoldfishbowl]

Husband has to choose between child and wife

When DS was born, DH and I agreed that should this sort of thing ever happen to us we'd be fine for/insist that each other prioritise DS. So sad. What can you do?

Oh goodnees, how awful I think DH and I would both save DD if it came to it but from that report it doesn't sound like he had any chance of saving the boy. Tragic

It was not as simple as choosing between them - he could not dive down far enough to get to his son, who was trapped in the car, underwater, and so he pulled his wife to safety.

My gut reaction on seeing the headline was that I don't think I would thank dh for making that decision, but reading the report it doesn't look like there was any chance that the boy could have been saved whatever the father did.

So sad.

Nope I too would have rescued the person I could get to the easiest - but I would probably lose my own life after that trying to go back to rescue the one that was hardest to get.

I hope I'd be that sort of person when it came to it Laurie, but you just can't know can you?

Well i would always choose my kids over dh if they both had a chance, but in this case it seems like he had no chance to save son, but didnt keep trying (knowing it was in vain) as he had to save his wife, sounds awful for everyone.

God, but then what would be worse - trying to hold onto a relationship with the grief (and no doubt guilt) after losing a child, but having an amazing husband to thank for saving your life... OR losing your child and DP but knowing they did everything to try and save them. Hideous.

He wasn't exactly having to choose between his son and his wife, though. If he let his wife drown he had a very very very slim chance of being able to rescue his son. But if he gave up trying to rescue his son he was virtually certain to be able to save his wife. The real choice was between losing the son and losing both of them, by the sound of things.

A desperately sad situation for anyone, though, regardless of how you categorise the choice.

How horrific. That poor man must be giving himself hell right now. I hope he realises there was nothing he could have done

He couldn't get to his son, he tried, and he then tried to save the otehr person in difficulty.

No different to anything I woudl have done- kids first but if kids unsaceable (God forbid) then you just do what you can for the rest.

Hideous thing to happen, poor family

(cross-posted with lots of others saying the same thing)

The headline is very misleading. If professional divers with great equipment couldn't save him then there is nothing this poor bloke could have managed.

Hardly a choice for the poor man, was it?
Bloody tragic.

Bloody hell, I honestly don't know what to say.

Poor, Poor man.

Thats the stuff of nightmaes isn't it?

Can't begin to imagine how he, or his wife, is feeling now

dh would have drowned as whether i could reach him or not -i wouldn't have left him and i would have kept trying.

sounds like he made the wisest decision in hinsight, but whether his wife will see it that way is another thing

Poor family, tragic.

My friend is a midwife and says they always choose the mother over the baby if it comes down to it, the parents can have another child, the child cannot have another mother.

Milly - when I was born, by emergency c-section my father was given the choice - save your wife or save the baby. Of course he chose my mum and obviously I survived. Horrible decision to have to make. Poor poor man.

I think when it comes to births it should always be the mother, unless she explicitly states it should go the other way.

Anyone remember that poor woman in the tsunami who had to choose which of her children to let go of? I bet some sort of survival instinct kicks off in these situations and makes the decision for you. I think the mum in the tsunami situation was extraordinarily lucky and someone else was able to help her boy. She will never forgive herself though and this dad and mum probably won't either.

Oh it gives me shivers even thinking about having to make a decision like that.

Just hope none of us are ever in that situation