German goalkeeper committed suicide

[GColdtimer]

here

Looks like he battled with depression for years. His DD died in 2006 and they had just just adopted a little girl.

His poor wife.

Not sure why I am posting really, just feel so sorry for his poor family and for the torment he must have been in.

It is so terribly sad. I was watching the news last night, they showed scenes of the church service. Many of his team mates were there, the German football team boss broke down in tears at the press conference.

It has kickstarted a lot of discussions in the press about depression, which is one of those things that gets hidden, swept under the carpet. I hope that this tragedy helps bring more understanding of the illness in Germany. There is a lot of 'he needs to pull him self together' thinking there.

So sad MmeLindt. What struck me was that he didn't want his depression to come out because we was worried his daughter would be taken away. I still think depression in young men, especially those who seeminly "have it all" is generally not taken very seriously. My friend's brother committed suicide a couple of years ago leaving 2 children and it was such a tragedy. As this is.

How terrible, Twofalls.

There was a footballer a couple of years ago who quit professional football because of his mental health issues.

It is a shame that there is such a stigma, that prevents many getting the help they need.

It is hard to understand how low a person must be feeling, to be able to stand on a railway line in the rain and wait for the train. He was only a couple of miles from the grave of his daughter.

It is such a tragic event. There is alsorts of issues here, depression is a horrible illness to have believe me and it has a stigma so people keep it quiet because of all sorts of reasons.
I cant begin to imagine how it feels to lose a child, my whole world would crash down if anything happened to my girl. My ex mother in law lost her 20 year old son and that was pure hell to go through but somehow she managed to keep going for her other children. Id like to think I could do the same for my step son and my partner but without doubt it would be a struggle.

I feel for his wife, suicide is one of those things where you do feel for the victim and you think of what he must of been going though but I have to say what about his wife? his adopted daughter? the train driver even? People dont realise the effect it has on the driver.
His wife was obviously going through a loss too and now her husband has gone. My thoughts and best wishes are with her and their daughter.

It is very sad and I hope something can be high lighted and talked about more as depression is common and people feel ashamed when they shouldnt be.

I read in an article about this somewhere that one of the reasons he didn't seek help with his illness was because he thought that revealing it would mean he would be deemed an "unfit parent' in the eyes of such as the social services and his adopted DD might be taken away from him.

The angish of experinecing the incomparable horror of losing a child to death and then thinking that his DD might be taken away must of been too much, he would rather live with his illness and then the illness got to much for him to bear.

Also agree that his wife must be going through the most terrible time due to his actions and this is why suicide is just so awful for the ones left behind/involved (like train driver). I hope she remains strong and is given all the help that she will need at this time, after all she has gone through the most in this tragic case.

But this stigma has to stop in regards to mental illness, as I think it is that stigma that has played a big part in this and its final outcome.

FWIW the goalkeeper was not unfounded in his fears about revealing his mental illness in regards to DD and the social services.

If they find out parent has mental illness they DO take a very strong stand agaisnt it. I have experience of this and really, really wish I had never been honest as it left me judged despite the fact I have never had a problem caring/coping for my DD and I have never neglected/abused her and safeguarded her at all times.

Lets be very clear about this though - you do not automatically get reported to ss if you go to your doctor with depression/mh problems.

I went to my doctor with what they called 'severe' Post Natal Depression - this was definitely never reported to ss.

I'm in Germany and the other day on the radio another footballer who has/had depression gave an interview saying that he was open about his illness but he was treated very badly by his team and called names abit like 'what a sissy' in the changing rooms, laughed at for having depression basically.

In the end he retired but he said that was why Robert Enke didn't want anyone to know along with the fact that he thought he would lose their adopted daughter if they knew how ill he was (which he wouldn't have). Very sad.

That's probably the one mmelindt mentioned before too.

Yes, Sebastian Deisler is his name I think. I remember when he retired, there was not an awful lot of support for him from the public tbh.

Besom
No, even here in Germany the social services would not necessarily get involved when depression has been diagnosed. My SIL in Germany is bipolar and there has never been any mention of SS. But I very much doubt that he would have been able to adopt the little girl 8 months ago if his history of MH issues had been known.

Yes, adoption may be a bit of a different matter.

I just didn't want anyone reading this to be put off getting treatment.

I agree that you do not actomatically get reported to SS for mental health issues. But in my case, the SS where referred to us following repeated domestic abuse issues agaisnt myself where the first case my ex was up agaisnt a GBH charge and I wouldn't press charges as I was to scared of him and his family.

The most recent incident ex is now up agsingst a ABH charge and it has gone to the CPS. As SS have now made a "case history' which involved revealing my mental helth issues, they are have taken the opinion that mental illness overrides domestic abuse. I want to make it clear that DD has never witnessed any DV as it has always happened away from the family home.

iLikeDots - I'm really sorry for what you've been through. I think sw's need more specific, in-depth training on mental health issues. I hope things get easier for you.

I'm very conscious that people often don't go for treatment because of stigma, as you mentioned yourself. The majority of parents having treatment for mh problems will never have anything to do with ss, and all I'm doing is pointing that out.

This awful death shows what can happen if people don't get treatment, although is his case you can see why he was worried about the adoption.

Thanks Besom, I do agree that most parents experiencing mental health problems do not get referred to SS, and I think that that should be pointed out by you.

I wanted to point out that the SS do not really understand about mental issues and feel failed by them (and to a point that I now think I deserve the assults that my ex has done to me) because I have been in the past mentally ill and since revealing that fact to them (which I did as I thought of my DD and never wanted her to see me going through an eposiode of my mental illness).

The social workers who I have dealt with are childless (im really not being holyier than thou because they don't have children) but I really don't think they understand the impact on parents and children when they get involved and make ill informed decisions, and the long lasting emontinal torment it can leave with both the children involved and mums , dads and the wider family.

For me it has really messed up my life and that of my wider family and we have all felt that we are just a case number and not human.

You are not responsible for his despicable actions and no-one should make you feel this.

We have a friend who is obviously suffering with what lokks like, to our untrained eyes, bipolar. But she also refuses to talk to her GP in case her daughter gets taken away.

Anyone who has lost a child lives on the edge of madness. Death becomes the dream, not the enemy, for the bereft.

It is how you carry on, not how you stop.

iLikeDots
Never feel that you are in any way responsible for the abuse that you suffered at the hands of your ex. Many many people live with those with MH issues without abusing them. My SIL's DH has stuck by her throughout many difficult times.

miumiu
That is one of the saddest things that I have ever read on MN.