OMG - nick clegg to bring back niceness

[TheBalladofGayTony]

legislation will demand that everyone has a clean pocket hankerchief for lending to sad people and wiping grime from the faces of urchins.

LOL!

middle class parents will receive ocado vouchers to maintin appearances

Wasn't there something about humming uplifting show tunes in bus queues?

And it will be compulsory to say thank you when someone holds a door open for you.

yes clarice but no jazz hands

there will be yoga for those queueing at the benefits office. Which is nice.

And he is bringing back Battenberg. Hooray

snort @ battenburg.

all pubs will have a self regulating cheerful cockney on the piano

Proper tea-time will be rolled out nationally in stages (with aforementioned battenburg). A ha'penny tax on earners over £1m will be used to finance a subsidy for lower-income households. And that's nice too.

All families will be assigned a Mary Poppins if they want one for free!

Is it true that we'll all be able to choose between getting a fluffy kitten or an adorable puppy as part of the Love Cute Animals incentive?

They are also going to require that all nice young gentleman escort old ladies across the road.

Why no jazz hands? I'd vote them in if they guaranteed jazz hands.

this sounds like my kind of place.....