Mother dies after becoming depressed about being unable to breast feed

[Jojay]

sad article

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1177156/British-mother-plunges-death-New-York-apartment-depressed-b aby-breastfeed.html

Try again

How very sad. Either a very bad case of PND that wasn't picked up or else she had gone up there for some fresh air and fell.

With DS1 breastfeeding was disasterous, ans TBH I think my failure to establish BF led to me having terrible PND. I felt guilty and useless as a mother.

I am not sure of the situation in USA but over here there wasn't (nearly 8 yrs ago) much support for BF or PND.

It is a very sad article.

i tried desperately to breast feed my daughter and failed miserably. she died at 13 days old and i regret terribly the wasted emotions and time spent fretting over it.time i could of spent enjoying her.
my other children were all bottle fed, never felt guilty over it, never will.
poor lady,feel very very sorry for her

gardeningmum - how awful for you, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter.

I completely, completely agree with you. I hate that people get so hung up about BF - it's not always worth it.

thankyou nancy.
i think it is a great thing to breastfeed your baby, but i strongly believe that if you cant do it, that doesnt make you any sort of a failure, its just one of those things. formula feed your baby, so what, just be grateful you have a baby, there are millions of people out there that would love the dilemma of BF OR FF

The pressure on new mothers can be unbearable. That is why I hate the promotion of breastfeeding where there is little support available.

Personally, I can't believe I didn't just switch to formula.

Tragic and sad, but equally tragic will be the comments trying to blame it all on "pressure to bf". A true DM headline!

I went on to successfully BF DS2 for over a year. I now beat myself up over the whole BF thing with my first baby. He is now nearly 8yrs and nobody gives a stuff how he got his milk. I cannot believe I wasted his first year in such misery.

FairyMum - that was my initial reaction. But remembering my nights with bleeding nipples and a baby who struggled to latch - it was about breastfeeding. It felt like the most awful failure of me as a woman, that I was failing as a mother.

In pain, and exhausted, you don't always make good decisions, or even seek the advice and help you desperately need.

So sorry gardeningmum . And what a tragic story re the mum who died.

Of course we don't know why the lady really got depressed. It's possible she would have got PND anyway. Or even that she didn't die from PND. Otoh I can believe that feeling a failure for not breastfeeding can trigger PND.

I did get very anxious and depressed when dd struggled with breastfeeding. If I had only known that the problem lay with dd and not with me, I could have switched to bottle feeding and been happy, she would have recovered her strength and everybody would have been happier. Instead, she ended up in hospital and I was torn apart with guilt for failing in a mother's first duty. (our local hospital was very pro-breast).

Very sad sorry. It's not clear if she commited suicide or fell.

Many women suffer from PND, and not all of them get the help they need. Who knows whether or not it has got anything to do with breastfeeding.

When my dd1 was born, I was absolutely determined to bf. No-one put any pressure on me to bf, even my mother told me to bottle feed when I was having problems. ALL of the pressure came from me. I put a HUGE amount of pressure on myself, the pressure all came from me, not society, not friends, not family.

How sad. That poor baby will get neither formula nor breastmilk from its mother which is far more of a tragedy.

I suspect the breastfeeding issue was just a small tangible part of a much bigger picture.

Belgo I dont think you're abnormal there

:-(

I wouldn't trust the DM to report this kind of story without serious bias and conjecture, tbh...

I am another who regrets wasting too much time and angst on trying to breastfeed.

The worst time of it coincided with a wicked case of day 3,4,5,6,7....baby blues.

I put such pressure on myself, and for what? All I succeeded in doing was making myself feel like a failure and half-starving my poor baby

My HV was so concerned about her, she was talking about doing tests for dehydration. WTF was I thinking

Thankfully a good friend said to me "why are you doing this, give her a bottle for fucks sake". I did, and never looked back.

With my 2nd, I gave it a good attempt but when it didn't work out that was it. No guilt whatsover.

Some people just cannot physically BF. I couldn't, it turned out my let-down reflex was wonky.

Ironically, once the pressure was off and I stopped BF it kicked in with a vengeance and wouldn't bloody go away, much to DH's bemusement

Do you know, I've read that article twice and can't see any evidence that she died because she was unable to breastfeed. It seems to be taking one aspect of her depression and heaping all the blame for (what might not have been) her suicide on that. It's loony conjecture.

I was lucky to have support from MN
'Tis the only reason i carried on despite thrush/cracked nipples/tongue tied baby.

Glad i found out though as now DS TT is cut and my DD had TT undiagnosed and she is now 14 with a speech impediment

Yaay for MN

This is a tragic story...and nothing in it suggests she was put under any pressure to breastfeed, or that her difficulties with it contributed to her death (which is not even suicide for sure, anyway - the verdict was 'open').

But none of that puts off the commentators on the story, who are happy to blame breastfeeding supporters for making women feel guilty.

People decide for themselves how strongly to feel about breastfeeding or bottle feeding.

Tiktok - absoluteley

"People decide for themselves how strongly to feel about breastfeeding or bottle feeding. "

They usually decide this before they have their babies though,and do so with poor information. Often failing to appreciate the challenges of bf with little support and the risks of formula

I was told this by a friend of the girl concerned apparently she phoned her mother who resided in the uk in a terrible state and sounded so distraught that her mum got the next flight out to New york but was a few hours too late and feels terrible guilt! She was obviously suffering severe depression and was crying out for help- the poor girl x

Kiansmummy How awful for the mother, what a thing to live with

Hear Hear tiktok.

I think it's reckless and ridiculous that the blame for this poor girls death is being laid with people for pushing breastfeeding too hard.

She obviously had severe PND if not Post Puerperal Psychosis.

Typical Daily Mail gubbins.

Kiansmummy - that's terrible, her poor mum