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Sisters good, brothers bad...

12 replies

JimmyMcNulty · 02/04/2009 11:13

BBC report

As a mother of one boy and expecting no.2 I'm a bit put out to read this! Just wondered if it chimes with MNers experiences of family life.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 02/04/2009 11:15

I have no sisters (but am one ) and have 2 boys....

Load of old tosh methinks

Sorrento · 02/04/2009 12:03

My mum had 2 girls (me and sister) and constantly went on for 6 years about how she'd love a boy, how she was desperate for a boy.
Well she got two of them, twins. Neither liked football which mum lives for, both are lazy bastards who have caused her no end of grief and in terms of us all getting along, they are the bain of our family life.

OrmIrian · 02/04/2009 12:06

Yep. In our family that is the experience. DB has lots of anger about his childhood that he rarely airs but which colours his relationship with my parents. Very bitter. I am a great deal more conciliatory about things.

titchy · 02/04/2009 12:52

So I have one of each. ds will be a leader in world peace because he had the advantage of having a sister, while dd will be a delinquent because she had the disadvantage of having a brother....... Or ds will be a delinquent because he's a boy and dd will be the one for world peace becuase she's a girl.....

notagrannyyet · 02/04/2009 13:46

I've 3 grown up DC who have flown the nest, and 3 DS who still live at home. They are 15, 13, & 12. I think 3 teenagers in a house are trouble whether they are boys or girls.

Most of the time things are fine because they are kind and thoughtful lads. There is lots of 'banter', but all 3 give as good as they get. I do think boys are more competative than girls. This can easily result in the fists and feet flying and things quickly getting out of hand. I can normally calm things down but DH often makes things worse....trying too hard to be No1 male in the house maybe!

I would have loved a second DD and am sure that would have added something special to our home. Don't think boys will become emotional cripples because we didn't though.

chocolatekitten · 02/04/2009 13:49

Don't worry, Jimmy. I have an experience of bringing up two sons ( two years difference). Both teenagers now. It's been a wonderful experience watching them grow and share the fun in a way only two brothers could.
And now we also have another little boy, he is three now, absolutely doted on by the whole family ( and he idolizes his big bros ). I totally relish my three boy family, absolute joy.

Honestly, I find this research and the article evil. Strong word but it did make me upset. Not the findings as I simply do not believe it true based on the experience of my own family and many others I've known, extended family, friends. My sisterless boys, for example, are the most lovely human beings, full of character, sensitive to the needs of others and with absolutely no problem expressing their emotions.
On the other hand, their male cousin ( 20 now), brought up with a sister, turned out a very introverted, shy person who rarely shares any emotions with anyone ( mum's own complaint ).

It is the whole idea of publishing such insults towards countless 'boys only' families that really upsets me.The suggestion that they somewhat inferior, or indeed damaging to the children's well being. Bollocks, I say! How dare they !

Sorry, I am seeing red. Why ? What is the point of all this ? Are my boys going to be approached now by whoever, kindly offered counselling, because poor boys never had a sister and are somewhat lacking...

What about mothers influence, constant female presence in their life, do I not count ? Even still, the whole article/ research smacks of implied female superiority in general, just wrong.

I could rant on and on ...

ItsMargotBeauregarde · 02/04/2009 13:51

That doesn't surprise me. It fits with my family dynamics.

georgimama · 02/04/2009 13:57

I don't understand the claims tbh. Having a sister is a good thing - so yay for my two brothers who had me, but poor little me, no sister, just two mean, nasty brothers?

What a load of tosh.

JimmyMcNulty · 02/04/2009 14:04

I know what you mean, chocolatekitten, it got my hackles up too. Having told people I'm expecting a 2nd boy I've had more than one person suggest (albeit subtly) I might be disappointed, since ALL women surely want a girl... Now here's the news that we should be pitied even more as it's not good for them emotionally.

I think titchy has pointed out a bit of a flaw in the argument. I can't see a lot of difference between these findings and just saying that all men have been proved to be A Bad Thing and must have their innate awfulness reduced by a female sibling.

OP posts:
ItsMargotBeauregarde · 02/04/2009 14:09

I don't see why it matters to the mother. For the girl in the family, with two rough brothers who monopolise the tv watching blake 7, battlestar galactica, star trek, star trek the new generation etc....twas not great!!! would have loved a sister, but I didn't think it was affecting my personality.

chocolatekitten · 02/04/2009 14:19

I have three sets of cousins , all in their thirties now. All from 2 boys families. With no exception , all fantastic successful men, great people to chat to. And no, we were not that close in childhood in order for them to be influenced by me, female cousin.

My own dad, having grown up with three sisters, tragically, turned out an emotionally crippled man who ruined his life and has been a terrible husband/father.

The only true fatherly love I experienced was from my lovely late father in law, who happened to come from a family with no daughters.

georgimama · 02/04/2009 14:35

I loved Battlestar Galactica. And when my brothers got older I had their friends to practise flirting on. Was all good.

I am prepared to stand up and be counted as a woman who is not in the least bit bothered about having a daughter. Am nervous about prospect of a daughter in law though. Perhaps DS is gay...

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