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fear and war

11 replies

mmm · 03/04/2003 08:40

I have a baby of 11 months and a daughter of 8. I am totally against this horrible war and have written to the Prime Minister 3 times and once to Mrs. Blair, I have been on the anti war marches and have written to the newspaper. I do not know how to stop feeling frightened for the world we live in and I'm feeling helpless. Can anybody help?

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ks · 03/04/2003 09:49

This reply has been deleted

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mmm · 07/04/2003 09:00

I do remember the Cuban Missile Crisis, I went on the marches then with my parents ! It's so hard to get a perspective with a positive outlook. I guess it's not just the war, but pollution, the arms trade, advertising , tobacco,the hypocrisy of our lives as a whole, you know, wanting to have a high standard of living when half of the world is starving. It all seems to be pressing on me now and I'm worried about how to protect my children and myself. Thankyou ks for your supportive reply.

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karenanne · 07/04/2003 09:24

i think our generation has had it quite easy as we havent had alot of major conflicts.since september the 11th there has been an undercurrent of fear that we can be got at anywhere at anytime.i think the fact i am now a mother and the maternal instincts that go with it increases this fear.
as for the current fighting i admit ive sat on the fence...but the fear and urge to protect my daughter issometimes overwhemlming.there isnt really anything we can do to stop this war,and keep ourselves 100% safe but i found visiting anti terrorism websites and websites that tell you how to survive these attacks and make notes ha eased this fear.
im not mad and stockpiling etc nor have i bought gas masks but I DO KNOW that if anything does happen i know the basics to protect myself and my family to the best ofmy ability.
when i was a child my mum went through the same thing(70s)with the nuclear bombs etc...she also had the same fears..i think its a natural instinct of motherhood.
i hope this has helped in someway..

mmm · 09/04/2003 08:26

Thanks Karenanne. It just seems to me that this war is like the 'small' snowball which will end up as an avalanche . Our children do make us more vulnerable. I read an article in the Guardian a few weeks ago which had a scale of fear, from paralysed with terror - mildly worried and it suggested that those of us with young children were very much more likely to be more frightened than those without. I have even begged my partner to get a job in New Zealand ( we live in Brussels) but of course he thinks I'm being ridiculously paranoid ! Am I ? Then of course I read about Bush wanting to test small nuclear weapons and I can't believe that when there is enough weaponry to destroy the world many times they still want to make more and How Britain and America and other countries sell arms to whichever country will buy them and then go to war etc etc etc. Isn't it all total madness?

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Lil · 09/04/2003 11:50

mmm, I also think we have it easy compared to our forfathers. There has always been wars and always will be, but when it comes to coping I think this generation is a little out of practise .

Just remember there's less wars now than there's ever been and if we carry on at this rate our children will have it even better!

winnie1 · 09/04/2003 12:28

Mmm, did you get ant replies from the PM s office? I didn't. Will write more later when I have time but I think I know how you feel.

mmm · 10/04/2003 12:37

hi winnie1, after writing 3 times to the PM I did get one message from a secretary( 'the pm is interested in your views' and one from Mrs. Blair (Mrs. Blair is interested in your views but canot influence the PM - I'm paraphrasing )

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winnie1 · 10/04/2003 14:58

Hi mmm, thanks for getting back to me. I never received a reply and am greatly annoyed by the fact. Obviously, I don't expect a personal reply from Tony Blair but its just damn rude!

Returning to your original comments I think the feeling helpless factor is as much part of the problem as the fear factor. One feels disenfranchised because it appears there is actually very little that individuals can do especially when the government refuses to lisen to public opinion (and I think I am right in saying that until the war started the British people were not largely in support of the war). And whilst I agree with KS it is a crumb of comfort that 'we've' come through such things before... I don't think the fear is necessarily as simple as worrying about oneself and ones family (although that does come into it). It is also about all those people men, women & children who are being killed, and whose lives are being ruined for ever, whether civilian or military, in the name of 'peace'???? yes, being a parent does come into it but I worried about nuclear weapons in the eighties as a teenager and remember Libya being bombed and marching on Grovesner Square not becasue I was a parent but because of my personal beliefs and value system (which is incedently very different from my parents).

I also do agree with you about the hypocricy that goes on and the difficulty in rationalising the fact that whilst a small portion of the world has a high standard of living the largest portion lives in poverty.

However, I think for ones own sanity (and that of ones children) one has to change ones perspective a little. Also, living in fear lets terrorists win. Which doesn't mean not giving a damn, I found it empowering that so many people marched against the war it gave me some hope that other people think the way I do. I think it has also meant that since the war started 'the coalition' are being careful to be seen to be doing the right thing. (Which doesn't seem to have stopped the casualty rate from being horrendous but perhaps it has stopped it from being even higher!!?)

Think of all of the wonderful organisations and charities out there; the individuals who do so much to make this world a better place. If one focuses on those things then one can see that individuals can make a difference and yes there is a lot to be done in this world to make it a better place for everyone and to protect the globe but all in all there's a lot happening to move things along. When I was a teenager my friends and I were almost outcasts in our sixth form as vegetarian, CND supporting, Greenpeace campaigners... now such things are much more the norm. A very basic thing like recycling has become 'the norm'. Great strides have been made and will go on being made because people do give a damn and it is hard to keep that in mind when one is surrounded by war coverage, death, disease and injustice but sometimes one has to accept one can only do so much and if every one did ones part then the bigger picture will be different. The little things we do does help. HTH
Best wishes, Winniex

Jimjams · 10/04/2003 15:27

I wrote to Tony a few years ago and got a "PM is interested in your views" reply. Got a similar reply form my MP, and a long reply from the dept of health (it was about MMR). The d of h reply took about 4 months to arrive though. I assumed they'd ignored it.

mmm · 12/04/2003 07:34

Winnie1 - you are a dear ! I feel like such a muddle headed and exhausted woman that I can't think clearly . You're right about the good things and feeling helpless too. I was born in the late fifties and lived in the shadow of the Atomic bomb with a very paranoid father and went on the Aldermaston marches and have continued to march throughout my life and those marches help to feel a little bit empowered . However, how difficult it is to listen to the false promises of politicians ( not going to war without a un resolution etc) Did you read the Julian Barnes article in the Guardian 2 yesterday ?He put my thoughts into words .You're absolutely right about keeping sane for one's own and one's family's sake though. I guess I just don't feel as strong as the multinationals and ultra rich people (generally men, but that's another story) and even with all the marvellous caring people and charities and organisations they're just not enough to turn back the tide of ghastliness which is wreaking havoc on humanity and our planet. What an harbinger of doom, eh? Anyway, I really appreciated your message with its hope and I'm pleased to be able to have this rave .

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winnie1 · 12/04/2003 10:54

Mmm, I did read Julian Barnes comments and utterly agreed with them! Rant and rave all you like thats one of the things Mumsnets for Best wishes, Winniex

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