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Original poster

woman given a suspended sentence after her three year old was filmed smoking a cigarette.

49 replies

wannaBe · 22/01/2009 18:07

I've heard it all now

OP posts:
Wonderstuff · 22/01/2009 20:26

Well since SS felt it fit to leave the kids with her (which is odd, but we don't have all the details) I am glad that the judge didn't give her a custodial sentence, more judges need to take account of family when sentencing women. I do despair of the lack of consistency in sentencing, I know of women given custodial sentences for benefit fraud, resulting in children going into care - doesn't seem right imo.

loobeylou · 22/01/2009 20:28

incredible, disgusting but over all just so so sad

Almeida · 22/01/2009 20:30

Wonder how else he's been neglected. Some people shouldn't have kids & this littleone needs to be with a family who will care for him. Can't believe he's been sent back to his mum who clearly doesn't care about him.

ScottishMummy · 22/01/2009 20:50

as abhorrent as the smoking was,mum is reportedly making progressing amending her ways.allowing her to forge secure attachment with her son and good parenting classes.she will (hopefully) be closely supervised

she was completely wrong.total fuckwit BUT she has tried to make amends and learn better parenting

i hope her and her son do well.

SmallShips · 22/01/2009 21:53

Fucking hell, just saw this on BBC news 24, what a fucking moron.

KristinaM · 22/01/2009 21:58

i agree with scottish mummy

sleepycat · 22/01/2009 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tankie · 22/01/2009 22:03

Being in care isn't a bundle of laughs for a child either - if her parenting has improved and she is being closely supervised then her children are better off with her.

ScottishMummy · 22/01/2009 22:05

what do some of you advocate?take the boy away,a life of foster care and institutions?

or intensive rehab and supervised parenting.she may well have propensity for change.and should be allowed opportunity do do so

easy to have knee jerk reaction.more difficult to address mum poor parenting and impaired judgement

sleepycat · 22/01/2009 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScottishMummy · 22/01/2009 22:43

what a disproportionate response advocating adoption/fostering removal from mum.harsh and draconian to suggest removal of child.this isn't insurmountable with the right intervention.

the boy and mums should remain together,with v close monitoring.

KristinaM · 22/01/2009 22:47

actually there are NOT families queueing up to adopt school aged boys who have been abused / neglected/ have had multiple special needs/ multiple placements / educational delays / challenging behaviours & who wish to return to their families

not that i'm saying this child has then now. but if he doesn't he soon will after a few years in care

edam · 22/01/2009 22:51

Sleepy, sadly Kristina is right. The 'care' system fails children very, very badly. It is not as easy as 'here's this lovely family who will just jump at the chance of adopting you right now'.

LadyArden · 23/01/2009 09:26

Unbelievable. At what age would he have developed lung cancer if this had continued?

I'd like to know if any of the older children are smokers.

SammyK · 23/01/2009 09:34

Poor kid. If he was an established smoker he will have that addiction in his system now won't he.

Cies · 23/01/2009 09:35

I've just read this in the paper. Shocking . She's got what she deserves.

Almeida · 23/01/2009 14:20

Can't agree that leaving this child in the situation of neglect is better than giving him a chance in a childrens home. MAny good people want to adopt but can't.

LadyArden · 23/01/2009 15:52

I don't know the details of this case, but my guess is that she smoked heavily when pregnant, he was born with the craving and that she allowed his "habit" to develop as soon as he could crawl and get to grips with the ciggies/lighters .

Shocking neglect, but as long as the SS do their job properly and focus on the child, not the mother, he is probably better at home as the care system is in such a shambles. I would remove a child automatically for deliberate violence/cruelty, but neglect is a bit more ambiguous.

Ripeberry · 23/01/2009 20:05

Bet she started to let him smoke just to shut him up and get some peace and quiet

Kimi · 23/01/2009 20:16

Just cause someone CAN have children does not mean they SHOULD

figroll · 23/01/2009 21:30

He had been smoking for "many years" according to the article - but he was only 3.

sandcastles · 27/01/2009 02:22

Figroll, it says

"He was actually smoking one at the time and Ms Dudley said it looked like he had been smoking for many years."

I took it to mean he looked like he had been smoking for many years....

i.e seemed to be very experienced.

JodieO · 27/01/2009 02:33

Agree they should focus on the child, too many children slip through the net and it's awful. The children are the ones that need protecting, if that means removing them from the situation then so be it tbh. A 3 year old child smoking is disgusting and there is no excuse for that at all.

JodieO · 27/01/2009 02:34

Also I don't think people do really change most of the time, just like abusive partners don't change, neither do parents.

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