Times article ' Life is a see saw for working mums ' a book written by succesful working mother - comments please

[CaptainUnderpants]

Times article

Anyone read it ? Has this been written by a well known mumsnetter ?

I do like the bit that you and your partner must get away at least twicw a year without children for at least three nights !

Her DH is the one that has given up work !

I think there's a lot in that, NL. Also my kids have made the connection between me going to work and them being able to do their music lessons, sports camps, going on residential school trips and so on, so I really think that's a bonus. I have had the odd summer off because of gaps in contracts and so on, and we all had a nice time cycling around doing cheap/free day trips, but the drop in income meant cutting back on all the extra curricular stuff and extras like National Trust membership, and that was a real shame IMO, because it's good for them and they love it.

Nl & BM. I think going to work helps build resilience in children. If Ds didn't go to nursery he wouldn't have so many friends. The friends are not dependent on whether or not I'm friends with their parents. He is also looked after by his dad, male cousins, Granny & Auntie. I can't afford full time paid childcare. It also makes them aware that women have a equal right to work and to be paid fairly for that work

I agree with what everyone is saying...and yet, and yet...sometimes it is very hard juggling. You know the dys when you just have to be somewhere for a meeting and DH out of the country and one of the kids spends the night puking.
Do you send him to school feeling lousy or do you cancel the meeting and let everyone down. I know I probably shouldn't but it Does make me feel guilty sometimes.
Still work though .

But Litchick I hear what you're saying but remember- for every day like that there are at least fifty where you are in the workplace giving your all and your kids are perfectly fine in the good quality care you've arranged. 50 days where they are happy and you are happy, better off, stimulated and building your career for the years ahead when they've flown the nest but would still quite like some cash to fritter on tatoos, pasta and deposits for homes....od dear do I sound like Xenia now?

(Not that's a badthing but...)

I just stay at home with them if it comes to puking and so on. What else can you do? We are all human.

The grey area is when one or other feels a bit peaky, AP has language class, and we both have meetings. I usually make them go in to school, and they seem to survive. Can't say I feel very guilty about it, because even if I was a SAHM I would still have problems getting one to school while the other was potentially ill at home. There's no easy answer.

'A bit peaky' would have me sending them to school too. The thing is I go to work and do a perfectly good job when I don't feel 100% - like today actually my sinuses are playing me up. Nothing horribly infectious but not totally great - teaching your child that in the real world you just have to get on with things is an excellent skill. Of course if they need picking up from school ill I drop everything - unless it's dd2 where I ask a series of searching questions as she has naturally pale skin and a tendancy for exaggeration....if one of her friends is off sick it's not unknown for the whole gang to turn up in the office whimpering. The school alwayss fall for it and doubtless think me a horrible mother when I say 'ask her to soldier on till lunch and then ring me if she's no better'

You're both right of course. Most of the time it's absolutely fine and the DCs are terribly proud of me. And I love what I do. And ( whispers) I'm pretty good at it.
I think much of my problem is that I work from home so don't need or have childcare. Then when I do need it - meetings, conferences etc everything goes bonkers. And it's always then, bleeding always, when someone gets sick or the school closes for snow and DH is away.
I'm moaning now so I'll shut up...cos mostly it is FINE. And I should keep reminding myself of that.

i do my utmost to be at work.no sickies or hangovers or boyfriend angst (unlike others)

just plain ole head down,juggle

Ah, the maternal work ethic ....

So, what are we going to call this magazine then? And yes UD you can come and write for it!

I've not noticed in my team any less (or more!) devotion to duty between those with no children, those with older children or those with younger children. Male or female. There is flexible working for all sorts of reasons, not exclusive to those with young children. The most flexible arrangements were for two members of staff with caring responsibilities for elderly and unwell parents (both sadly now deceased). So long as the work is done and the employee is appreciative and doesn't take the piss it's no problem, although I do especially like my male colleagues rearranging their working patterns for childcare reasons. Personally I think this is the next important battle, as if more men were encouraged to take fuller caring roles then there would be less discrimination against women, and less division of labour in the home. Oh and I think it's great for dads and children too.

A very eloquent and inspirational post, nooka!!

My workplace is quite like this actually. I am very lucky.

But who actually BUYS these books? Presumably Julia Hobsbawm et al imagine the likes of MN subscribers will be rushing out to buy it...er, no. And all the people like her won't as they are all leading the same life as her and don't need to be 'advised' about their lives, as she imagines everyone else does. So WHO WILL BUY IT? Any offers?

Will she actually make any money? Or is it a form of vanity publishing?

I'm quite lucky I think - my DH does take his turn for sick days etc. I also have some flexibility to work from home if necessary.

My newish boss did suggest one time that maybe I should think about taking holiday rather than working at home. I pointed out that i was really busy, and had stuff to prepare for a meeting. I certainly wasn't taking a days holiday to do that work, so it was up to him. No choice to be home - so I either got on with the work or watched TV with dd all day(phrased in a very polite and reverential manner).

He has never said another thing about it .

bagsforlife, sadly, I do but not this one. I'm going to start another thread. People can name change ' How many self help books have you got in your house?' and 'What are they?' I'm a complete sucker ha ha have to go to work now