Obese children "set" before the age of 5 - how to tackle it

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So, the latest research indicates that 90% of excess weight is put on in girls before the age of 5, and in boys it is 70% before the age of 5.

One mother thinks that parents should just be told, straight, that it is down to them to ensure that this excess weight gain doesn't happen - but will this work?

There so often seems to be a backlash against the "nanny state" when parents are put in a culpable position for their children's weight issues - which then gives people an excuse to say "I'm not being told by any Government how to feed my children, they're my kids and I'll give them what I want to."

What do you think? Will people backlash against it or take advice to help their children?

Yes my DD is the same. She is not overweight, but could be if I didn't set limits. She is quite small for her age in terms of clothes size, but slightly heavier than average

DS can eat more as he never stops moving, and burns it all off. He is a very muscular build and weighs quite heavy.

The BMI thing is a red herring in my opinion

Is it worth taking DS2 to the GP to talk about his weight?

I really don't want to draw loads of attention to it though and make him paranoid . I went through so much of my childhood and teens worrying (unnecessarily) about my weight, and dieting, and then bingeing, and so on...I don't want to make him hung-up about it.

eating disorders don't arise cos of having a healthy diet at home and being aware of it. The causes are multiple but nearly always have an element of uncaring or emotionally distant family.

I probably wouldn't take a chunky 7yo to the GP, I'd worry about them getting Issues about their size.

also, the GP is likely to suggest healthy eating family plans, and more exercise, which you know already.

Blimey, needmorecoffee - that's a bit much - we're not uncaring or emotionally distant at all! What on earth have I posted that makes you think that?

My step dd(9) is vety overweight, dh gets so upset because we can't help her (we see her one day a week), her mother feeds her rubish (house is full of crisps and chocolate), the anoying thing is she would happily eat fruit (she does at our house) yet her mother continues to feed her crap.

Dd1 (5) is very tiny, like i was, i don't think she will ever have a problem with her weight as she is such a tint wee thing.

Dd2 (3) is solid built and would eat all day if i let her, i have to be careful what i give her to eat but she's only slightly above average for her age/height.

Dd2 spends alot of time in the pushchair as she has ASD and has no fear of traffic and doesn't answer when i call her. She does alot of running around at home and in the park.

So many of my friends had severe eating disorders in their late teens. And many of them did have mothers who went on about weight and size and food. Maybe there were emotional issues too but some of them at least had lovely caring families they were close to. And still they had eating disorders. It was the norm really.

Yes, I agree NMC - poor family eating habits - ie junk/processed food and unhappy home life = eating disorders

SSBN, it sounds from your ealier posts that you know what to do to help DS2, but maybe the GP could recommend other stuff. In our area there are special agventure playgrounds, etc for families with DC who have SN that the whole family can use.

Fennel, that confirms what I thought. I think the way to go is definitely to get him doing more exercise. I've also noticed that he's quite unflexible and lacks physical confidence e.g. finds it really difficult to do even a forward roll.

bigTillyMint - thanks for that - in the summer DS2 does come with DS3 and me to a big adventure playground session for children with SN in Tottenham - which he loves. I should look out for more things like that though.

He and DS3 both love your bog standard indoor adventure playground too - but the trouble is that DS1 (aged 9) doesn't!

That doesn't mean that all overweight children come from unhappy families, just that it is more likely that children will be overweight if they come from an unhappy homelife.

Marne - yes, DS3 was like that at three - but this year since he turned 4 we have actually managed to ditch the pushchair (I never would have thought it this time last year) so there is hope!

Mm. My friends with the more severe anorexia, which was MOST of my friends at uni, they mostly had caring involved mothers, stable family lives, the mothers cooked wonderful home made food every night, they had happy home lives (as much as anyone). No junk food or neglect.

bTM - how did you work out that your DD is "slightly heavier than average"? I would be interested in knowing how DS2's weight stacks up for age.

sixspot - haven't read your posts. I used to council anorexics back when I was a psychologist. Every single girl I saw came from a well off family where the parents seemed emotionally disatnt and insisted on high grades, high standards. I don't recall any of them had ever made food an issue.
Anorexia was mainly about control in my opinion, not really weight.
But of course I haven't met every anorexic.
But telling your kids about healthy eating wouldn't automatically turn them into anorexics!

My own obsession with my weight came solely from reading Jackie magazine and comparing myself with my skinny friends. It was only when in my twenties that I actually did slim down to become skinny that I realised that being skinny doesn't = happiness.

We also had no junk food at home - everything was home-cooked - and my parents were very caring, if not necessarily confidence-enhancing.

I do make dd2 walk to school when i can manage to control both of them (dd1 also asd), we will be ditching the pushchair by early summer as dd is getting to big for it .

anorexia definitely about control

agree with that

DS2 does already eat healthily - I explained that on this thread, and also that he became porky when he was a solely-breastfed baby - which is meant to be the best start in life we can give them .

he might have been better on a more regulated amount of formula, perhaps

Absolutely Fennel. I "discovered" eating disorders when I went to university. All the girls seemed to be obsessed with their weight, I knew several anorexics and bulimics. The teenage years bring pressures and influences that are outside the control of even the most loving families with healthy attitudes to food.

It was awful at uni, by the 3rd year. Everyone hiding potatoes under their forks, thinking noone would notice they hadn't eaten them. And everyone watching each other like a hawk, to see what they weren't eating.

But they did mostly get 1sts and they all went on to be psychiatrists, dieticians and clinical psychoologists.

SSBM, just on those notoriously unreliable charts at the back of their red/blue health books! She is a bit of a shortie - nearer 25th% for height and over 50th for weight

Oh okay, bTM - I will dig out the old red book then!

Thanks.

SSBN, I see you were worried about your weight as a teen (weren't we all?!) - maybe that is making you worry more about your DS, ISWIM?

I have a friend whose DD, aged 3 is fat. No two ways about it. In this case, it is quite clear why - mum has always struggled with her weight, is currently doing well after loosing a load on an extreme diet (she has lost well over 8 stone, about 4 times in the 15 years I have known her, and then puts it back on as soon as she isn't on a diet). But she likes to see other people 'enjoying their food' so they bake cakes every other day, and the DD gets sweets at least once a day.
Mum thinks DD is just a big girl.

BTW, my friends DS1 was enoromous - huge roly-poly arms and legs, etc as a baby and toddler, now getting much taller and normal sized as an 8yo. His dad was a porker as a toddler and is very tall, broad-shouldered and skinny now