OK, I want to come up with some coping strategies for not feeling like cr*p about the news.

[DorotheaPlenticlew]

Don't want to stop reading the news -- feel it is better to be informed. But finding it all overwhelmingly sad as detailed in many other threads on here just now (ahem. no controversy intended).

So -- how do those of you who successfully avoid feeling sad and haunted manage it? My existing ideas are on the thin side:

1. Pull (metaphorical) socks up
2. Investigate where the best place is to give a regular donation; try and resolve confusion in mind about NSPCC and similar orgs
3. Lavish cuddles upon DS (16 months)
4. Er...

Any other suggestions for positive responses to bad news?

I have actually wondered about looking into fostering as a long-term goal, but obviously need to properly research, think this through and discuss with DP. Right now I just would love ideas for short-term fixes to stop me feeling reduced to inertia by the horrors of what I've been reading. (and no, it isn't the tabloids, just normal news). If I sound flippant it is not intentional; I've been finding it really hard to shake the dark thoughts and I do not want to be ground down by them, OR to have to keep my head in the sane.

or indeed the sand.

Would stick to reading the news, my preference is ceefax, no pictures, no videos, just a quick scan of what may be important.

Remember news is biased and sensationalist, it is broadcast as entertainment not to enlighten and inform, that is why there are very few 'good news' stories.

I really do believe wading about in too much 'news' is damaging to your mental health.

Try and be local instead, look after yourself, your family, maybe get involved in some neighborhoods stuff, give to charity if you can.

The world has become far too small, and we are constantly exposed to things we can do nothing about, leaving us feeling very helpless, it is all too easy to end up feeling depressed.

Switch off and smile.

What I do is -

1. turn over or mute if they keep on about an emotive subject for too long, as I don't feel the need to know every detail

1. remind myself that the news always concentrates on bad things happening, and that is in reality only one part of everything which is happening in the world/country/local area

1. decide whether there's something I can do about it, and if so how high up my priority list it should be

1. TBH in some cases just decide I can't care about everything or I'd crack, so filter out some of the things I can't do much about

i read bbc website - short to the point - you have to click tlo get a bigger article.

Those are good points, thanks. I could probably moderate my intake of information a bit more than I do at present. I tend to read news online and that makes it too easy to wallow in the stuff, even if you're on supposedly mature, grown-up news sites.

Perhaps I'll return to buying an actual physical newspaper for a while.

I know what you mean - I haven't posted on MN for ages but came on looking for some support! My reactions have been - wanting to become a social worker, knowing I couldn't cope and feeling guilty for that, writing a poem, but mainly crying and crying. And I think that's ok, tbh.

i think that you have to accept that as a sentient human being, sometimes a particular story/article/event is going to play on your mind, accept its normal, say a little prayer, love your own dcs that bit extra.

fostering is a fantastic idea and i'm sure brings a huge feeling of satisfaction with it, it won't make the 'bad' stories go away though.

i also think that if ones own life is in a dark place reading about the sufferings of others will not help at all, to feel helpless can bring you even lower imo. and sometimes it is quite accecptable to turn off/not read etc.

Talk about it. I've worked with victims of serious crimes for a few years now and I'm quite good at detaching myself from the emotion in able to deal with the facts. Sometimes though a case really bothers me and I need to talk to someone about it and cry.

I've accepted that terrible things happen and doing my bit involves ensuring that the people in my life are loved and cared for. It's really the only thing I've got any control over.

It certainly puts things into perspective.

Just wanted to add that I too am feeling very overwhelmed and distressed by the current news of Baby P and the two children in Manchester. Cant seem to stop thinking about them and focus on other things. I suppose this is natural when you're a parent or someone who can relate to these poor children. How do you stop ruminating on the horrible things going on and just 'get on' with your life? I know there are lots of wonderful, kind and caring people out there but its difficult not to focus on the bad. I Went to bed last night and found it so difficult to switch off. I suppose as others say try and make a small difference in the world and encourage others to be caring and thoughtful human beings too.

This is exactly what I've been thinking about and talking to my husband about. I can't get beautiful Baby P's face out of my mind. To think of what he went through just makes my heart break, and then the tears start.

I too want to do something (and will), like write to my MP (who is also a counciller in Haringey where poor Baby P lived and died), and start a standing order with the NSPCC. But it's not going to help Baby P and that's what really gets me, it's too late for him and those two darling babies in Manchester.

Like many of you, DH reminds me that news stories focus on bad news, and the media know which buttons to press (I know this too as a web journalist), but it really makes me despair to think that people can be so horrifically brutal to a defenceless, innocent child, whose mother did nothing to stop it. I really do despair.

Sorry to put such a downer on this thread, XX

Thanks for all your replies. I just got off the phone with the Samaritans; DP and I were in bed and he was asleep and I was trying to fall asleep when I got hit with another little wave of misery. Like poppinda says, I almost accidentally start thinking about what that little boy went through, and then it's impossible to banish the thoughts, and I end up in tears. I think it's also to do with DS being that age; the idea of anyone hurting him calls up such intense feelings, so the idea of anyone hurting other children like him is, in general terms, in the same realms of awfulness.

Anyway. The Samaritans woman was great. I higly recommend them -- they are awesome. I called them once years ago and both times I was so impressed; there's nothing like talking to someone who is a trained good listener with no agenda. I had to cut it short because DS cried a little and needed a quick dummy-replacement and kiss. But I have had a good cry, DP is still asleep (not worth disturbing him, he does not "get" how much the news upsets me) and I think I will maybe look into volunteering somehow in the area, in a small way. I need to do something proactive and fostering is only a pipe dream just now. I know that as someone said, it won't make the bad stories go away; but tbh I think most of my problem dealing with them stems from feeling powerless and useless in the face of overwhelming badness. Which of course we are not. We can do stuff. May as well try and turn all the misery into something slightly positive.

Off to have some tea and hopefully, a sleep. Night all.

I am in the same boat as you Dorothea it is all overwhelming me abit much too last night I cried myself to sleep but there's nothing we can do for him now he passed on almost 16 months ago al we can do is try to make sure his little life was not taken in vein if it elps any I wrote a letter to my local MP asking that they have a set sentence for people convicted of murdering/neglecting/or causing the death of a child of 15 years. It might not be worth much but atleast I am putting my point across in a positive way IYKWIM.

Peter was theabout 3 months older than my DS and it got to me at the time but now we are finding out the true extent it has made me worse but there are so mnay children out there who need our help now and by doing small things we can find a way to do so, and if it took Little Peters life to make us realise that then soemthing good has come out of this awful tragedy and Im sure he would be happy with that.

I'm probably not supposed to be posting on this thread any more but it's the most appropriate one. I think I am going mad because I feel utterly devastated and grief stricken by what has happened. I just can't get it out of my mind and I keep crying and crying. I know nothing can bring little Peter back so there's no use in being so upset and I should channel it into something useful. But I keep dwelling on how he must have suffered. It is so comforting (I know this sounds odd) to know there are others out there who are going through similar. My DH things I am mad and no one I know wants to talk about it because it's so awful. Is the NSPCC the place to donate to try to stop these things happening? Do charities have any powers to change things - if the police and people within SS itself were overruled by more senior people within the Council? There must be a way of making things better. There must be something we, as a collective can do. I just feel so powerless and frustrated that that little boy was allowed to be murdered at the hands of those F***s.

Dear Kellsmc - I too feel like i am going mad because I have been so so upset by this case and dreadful thoughts and images are going round and around in my head all day and night. No-one else seemed to understand, so it is actually quite a relief to come on here and realised that I am not alone. I don't know why it has affected me so very much - but I do have a nine month old baby as well as two older children and I think it is looking at the baby particulary which makes me feel so bad for Baby Peter. Why oh why could noone have rescued him it just makes me want to sob . I am trying to avoid all the news now because it just upsets me more - I was watching and watching just hoping to see something that would make me feel a bit better - like some evidence he did get just a little bit of love, but of course it all just made me feel 100's of times worse. At least he is not suffering now.

I agree jojo. I keep thinking to myself that maybe some of the media reports are sensationalist and the worst of the worst things didn't happen to him. I'm close to tears nearly all the time. Have written to my Mp calling for changes to the judicial system tonight, so I've done something positive. AM still upset though.