Father gets police record for smacking his 13 year old daughter - is this fair?

[thumbwitch]

saw this today on Ceefax - the daughter was banging on a neighbour's window past midnight, so he slapped her for being a PITA and she called the police on him. He got a police caution, a criminal record and has had to stop his career as a community worker because of it.
His daughter is shocked that it went this far - but what the hell was she doing calling the police on her dad in the first place, especially as she now says that she deserved it??

Isn't this all getting a bit out of hand?

LB "I think she was right to call the police as well though. He doesn't have the right to slap her round the face and I'm shocked that so many people think that sort of physical violence is OK. What if she'd smacked him back in self-defence, would that have been OK as well?"

slapping her was not okay - but it was the only time he ever laid a hand on her and she had really pushed him too far. Besides, as Juuule pointed out, he did not slap her hard and did not leave a mark. So it should be legal in terms of reasonable chastisement, though it is not the ideal way to handle the situation.

What if they had argued and she had slapped him? Do you think the police would have brought her away in a van despite her father withdrawing his complaint? Do you think she would have wound up with a criminal record and unable to volunteer?

mad

what a waste of fecking taxpayer money!

least i know if my teens act out like that to call the cops on them rather than slap them.

maybe that will teach them not to act like little shits?

probably not.

how ridiculous.

she didn't deserve a slap. she deserved backhanded with a boar bristle brush.

i agree psycho

my 13 year old dd is enough to try any saints patience

i am certain she would be nicer if we smacked her

lol expat!

funny thing tonight my ds almost 12 did not turn up to dinner as per usual and was doing what we had specifically asked him not to

when he eventually sauntered home for his dinner - i said to dp - in the olden days he would have been sent to bed without any - that would have stopped him

we are too soft on kids these days - no doubt at all

She thought he would just go to the police station, come back home again and everything would be as before. Ha, welcome to the real world princess.

Who is going to be buying her all the stuff that she wants know. Sorry love no money for a new dress for your end of year party. Daddy can't buy you anything as he doesn't have a job anymore.

Upwind, men who hit their wives also argue that they were pushed too far. I don't buy that argument.

No I don't think she would have been taken away in a van and I'm not arguing in favour of him having been taken away in a van. I just think it's right that his hitting her should be taken seriously. (Not that the solution was the right one.)

But LB, the girl in question was being an exceptionally naughty child, and it was a controlled, one off slap which left no mark. It is not analgous to a man hitting his wife.

I don't think slapping is an the ideal approach either but it is a valid (and AFAIK legal) parenting technique. Not something IMHO that should be taken seriously, but it was done with the aim of shocking the child into waking up to herself.

The idea that the police should intervene when an adult slaps a teen but not the other way around is wrong IMHO. Friends who teach, report attacks physical, verbal and even sexual from teens who know that adults have no right to retaliate in kind and who know they will face no effective sanctions for their behaviour. That is no way to prepare them for adulthood and responsibility.

I'm not an advocate of smacking, but this is totally OTT on the part of the Police.

However, it also shows what would happen if a smacking ban were ever to be introduced into this country. Scary...

I have heard so many stories fo young children ( and i mean young as in under 10) threatening parents with social services because they have had tv's removed or stopped from going to a disco or whatever.

i totally agree that there is a clear breakdown in family discipline and stories like this just go to show us why.

obviously he shouldn't have smacked her, but where is the common sense in this?

it is not yet illegal to smack a child, but i think that he was able to be charged because as she was over 10 she is legally competant and therefore able to press charges for assault.

She didn't press charges though, did she?
Hm...I think it is ridiculous in this case....!
No, he didn't handle it well...but fgs... even she herself admits she deserved it.I think it was very heavyhandedly handled by the Police,tbh....especially if it is now effecting his career
I mean, if the guy was a generally violent person....but he doesn't seem to be....

Thumbwitch, you have hit the nail on the head!
Why are the police not able to think for themselves?
This was his own daughter, she even said that she deserved it.
And then on the other hand, a husband can half beat his wife to death but not get a criminal record because she does not want to press charges.
Society is going fast downstream without a paddle.
Last week i was in France and their kids are much better behaved, even the youths say "Bonjour", everywhere we went and there are no tantruming kids.
But then i think it's because they knock six bells out of their children as soon as they have any backchat.
From one extreme to another.
We must all find a balance!