the wedding list company that went bust - does anyone really care

[FluffyMummy123]

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I agree that to say serve them right is callous and thoughtless. I personally don't like the idea of wedding lists and didn't have one, but most people I know do. Have a couple of friends involved with wrapit,they're not upset about the stuuufff, they're upset about having to tell their old granny who paid £200 by cheque that she's lost her money. The old granny would have got them a present, list or no list, because that is the tradition so they feel bad they chose Wrapit instead of John Lewis. But they also acknowledge we ain't talking about Zimbabwe here and they certainly wouldn't ponce around in their wedding dresses especially as the bank almost certainly isn't the culprit here but the idiots who maaged the company so badly
Weddings are usually feasts of greed and ostentation, though, imvho and I think to a lot of us this story symbolises pay back time for an industry spinning out of control and the grasping society we live in

FFS, a wedding list is just a list of things that you would find useful or desirable as opposed to the guest being left totally in the dark. No-one is forced to spend more than they wish to or even to buy from the list at all. I don't get what the issue is about wedding lists. It strikes me as a perfectly practical way to organise things in response to the firm tradition that people getting married receive gifts from family and friends.

The advantage of a company like Wrapit is that the list is not confined to the products sold by one company. As for who is a at fault, I think it remains to be seen who is most responsible for how things have turned out.

The sneering smacks of snobbery to me.

People are a bit harsh.

A friend of mine is getting married next week and has just had this. She and her lovely fiance are not remotely bothered by the prospect of not getting presents, but they are concerned about their guests losing the money they have spent.

We did spend just over £100 so in theory will get our money back but it appears it won't be straightforward and may take some time.

I don't get the accusation of snobbery.
if people just stuck to a written list that was passed about and people then bought from whatever shop they could afford. there wouldn't be a problem. problems arise when you put all your eggs in one basket imo.

2shoes, if you're the 15th person to get the printed list the item that you choose might have been bought already. Up to 14 times, in fact. What use is that?

What on earth do you (and others) have against wedding lists? I just don't get it.

When dh and I got married, we both had homes already. If we hadn't had a wedding list, it seemed to me that no-one would really have a clue what to buy since it would be obvious that we had 2 of all the essentials. A wedding list gave people some guidance - we chose things we'd like, our guests chose how much to spend and on what. If the wedding list doesn't include any items within a purchaser's price range, there's nothing to stop them buying something else from somewhere else. That's why I don't understand the hostility. It's not like couples are forcing people to spend a particular amount of money by having a wedding list.

Oh there was something in the Sunday Times about this that I made dh read.

It was like the tornado and floating shelves all over again.

Strange thread.

I struggle to care too, other than to think "what a shame" in the same way I would if any company went bust and normal members of the public lost out.

How weird and nasty of some of you to be so vitriolic about it though.

Oh, just seen who started it. Makes sense now.

I'd never heard of wrapit until that thread last week.

How can we be so sure that all the people who used it are loaded and have homes and wads of cash? I realise it's a "discretionary spend" but so are many of the thing we buy. As a guest I'd far rather have a wedding list or some guidance as to what people want. I don't like the idea of wasting good money on duplicating something unnecessary. Why is it poncy to have a wedding list? They have been around for generations as they make things simple for people.

Obviously the brides posing outside HSBC looked stupid but anyone who loses money when a company goes bust is entitled to feel a bit pissed off, surely?

MsHighwater
simple do it in a book and people tear the page out.
make your mind up please
"What on earth do you (and others) have against wedding lists? I just don't get it"
you say as I have said I have nothing against wedding lists.

2shoes, if you have a family spread across the country or even the world, a page out of a book is not really practical and dare I say it, a bit 'last century'. I got married ten years ago and had a centralised list with a shop - only difference to wrapit is that my shop thankfully didn't go bust in the run up to my wedding.

It's nothing new. My cousin got marred in 1977 and had a wedding list at Harrods . My parents ignored it and bought something different as they couldn't run to Harrods prices.

I think it's the fact that it's tge bride and groom's job to make a fuss. Actually as the guests have actually lost the money, it should be them that complain. Until they receive the gift's they don't belong to the couple surely. It all seems a bit grasping.

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What I don't get is why people who are getting married and have homes already, kids, even two homes in some cases, need a gift at all.

If you have everything you need, why a gift at all, much less a list?

Care factor zilch.

Our wedding presents are packed in boxes and have been for about 10 years.

Don't believe in wedding lists in the first place, people shouldn't be so greedy and assuming, and agree most people have most things before they get married these days anyway.

Some people just need a drama / trauma in their lives....

Snort at JimJams and the floating shelves...now that was strange.

Bodiam08 - totally agree. Wedding list utterly greedy. We specifically said we did NOT want gifts. But then we did not spend 15k on a wedding and expect to recoup it from friends.

2shoes, if you have nothing against wedding lists, why do you object to people doing it in a tidier and more practical way than your book with its pages being torn out?

MrsGofG, wedding list NOT utterly greedy. Wedding gifts began as a way for the community to equip a newly married couple who would have been setting up home together for the first time. Obviously times have changed but the tradition dies hard. Anyway, in gift giving (even when aided by a gift list), the impulse comes from the giver not the recipient. If I do not wish to give a gift, I am not obliged to do so, wedding list or not. And not everyone sees the gifts as recompense for the cost of the wedding.

Bodiam08, why keep the gifts boxed up? If you don't need the things (which are presumably pristine and new) isn't it greedy to hang onto them when someone else could use them? Why not get them out and give them away (or sell on Ebay if it wouldn't go against your principles to profit from them)? Of course, if you'd had a gift list (I'm assuming you didn't), your friends and family could have got you things you'd use.

If people paid on their credit card, can't they just do a charge-back and let the credit card company deal with it?

Here here sprogger

I'm pretty pissed off that the present we bought for friends will probably never materialise. I don't feel sorry for them ( especially as he happens to be a HSBC high flying exec ) but I also didn't see them as money grabbing and greedy for having a wedding list in the first place. It was very convenient for me and I was glad to buy them something I knew they wanted. Where's the problem with that?

my friends had a wedding list...

but they put a note in saying if you would like to buy a gift and really dont know what to get us here are some ideas that we thought we might like

Feel free to not buy from the list/ or not buy a pressie. The only thing we want from you is to come along and celebrate our big day with us.

not grasping, not greedy just practical...

If her co had gone bust I would have felt angry about my gift but also sad for her

When you have a list it all gets delivered in one go so if the co goes bust you lose all your presents.. this is a big blow when you are looking forward to a christmas like experience after your wedding

That said I havent seen the news article.. if there are really girls in wedding dresses outside hsbc then they are nutters...

how is that going to help??? some people will do anything for their 15 mins of fame

or tescos