Daughter wins £127k claim for caring for mum at home

[SerendipityJane]

Interesting ...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cr93zp78g580o

and also to see that the judge says he can make no moral judgement, it is what is correct in law. So no, what she did, given the evidence, was not illegal.And the previous criminal case was settled likewise

I think the fact that her mum didn't pay her while she was alive but then as soon as her mum died she's gone and helped herself to 100 grand is dodgy AF and I'm surprised the court deemed that acceptable. It's theft. You can't just take someone's money because they're dead and you think you're owed it. Her mum didn't tell anyone she wanted to pay her, she didn't put in her will she wanted to pay her.

Theres two things. 1. Should a person be paid from a dead persons estate for providing them care? If so, how much? And 2. Is it ok to take a large sum of money out of a dead persons bank account?

Can someone explain why her taking the money wasn't illegal?

I get there were messages before DM died about the lady should get paid but not the exact amount.

I care for my DM (who still lives in her home) and I have financial POA, and I am sure my DM wouldn't want to be out of pocket if she could understand the situation (can't work FT whilst caring). But I can't just draw money out of her account.

Given it was dementia anything written at the time of her moving in, when she was already confused and needing care, would have been argued in court anyway.

I feel for the daughter , she cared for her mother which not only was physically exhausting but also meant her life was on hold. Had her mother been admitted to a care home then she would have been unhappy , it would also have cost a fortune, Families are happy for someone else to take on the caring role, families forget what others give up and how they put their lives on hold. I agree with the judgment by the courts.

Because it was taken after her mother died.
The executor whoever that was is charged once probate has been granted in handling the estate of the deceased.
And you cannot go about taking money out of a dead persons bank account or savings account.
I am not surprised she was arrested.
The executor would be responsible for paying any monies owed, settling debts, gathering in all the assets, valuing the assets. And last of all, issuing to any beneficiaries.
You cannot just leap in and take money.

If her dementia was very well established no decent Solicitor would have drawn up a Will for her.

That’s what I am saying. Surely it was illegal

Yes, I realise ! Sorry, I was adding to your points.

Yes. Lots of missing information. Executor? Was there a Will or not. Which is crucial to how things are done when someone dies.

First thing that came to my mind.

I admit to being biased: I cared for both my parents plus my husband. (I'm an only child, however.)

She should have had the conversation with her siblings before her mother died. You can’t just help yourself to £££ from your dead mother’s bank account.
And think Bern and her husband have got a bloody cheek to think that anything over and above their expenses should be covered.

He hasn't a clue.

Tackling personal care for someone with dementia is difficult. In this case, the poor old soul also had a severe prolapse. Must have been a nightmare dealing with that.

Yes there was a will. The will only comes into effect when she is dead.

There was family agreement the Daughter shouldn't be out of pocket.
That extends to her not being able to look after DGC and one of her DD had to give up work because her mum was caring for gran.

The older brother execture also told her to take the money before he back tracked.

Her labour / care enhanced her mothers estate because if she hadn't done it care home fees would have been needed.

She did, and then he denied it

those who cant understand the legalities need to read the judgement linked upthread. its all very clearly set out.
Its not illegal because it was a bill owed to the estate, which can be settled.

there is alot of correspondance accepting she was due to be paid and discussing how much care costs. The brother told her to 'just take it' which he seems to have conveniently forgotten. The issue mainly is that he wasnt prepared for how much she would take.

She broke it down into days @ £150 per day, and also itemised bills owed to the other siblings. That included everything, not just care. food, bills, expenses incurred.

Sorry but no, they put life's on hold, couldn't go out at the same time, stopped providing care for their own DGC, so DDs had to pay for care and I think one gave up work.

The mothers estate had more money in it because of her efforts.
Why shouldn't she be recompensed for that?

Oooooh have we evidence of freeloading too now? I bet she was also summoning the devil and praying to the moon at night 😂…after all she did abuse her mum didn’t she, mumsnet said so, so it must be true

They were full on pitch forks for that lady…carer for her mum but tried to call her abusive because she didn’t allow carers in. Whole thing was bizarre.

I agree. No-one comes out of this well. The brother's offer of £50 a week is mean. But you can't just help yourself to £100k from an estate and I can quite understand why the siblings called the police when she did that.

She has got an extremely generous payment, given carers usually get near to fuck all.

They really should have sat down and discussed all this before her mother died and come to an agreement,. It also raises the suspicion that she did all this to get paid, and deliberately withheld from her siblings how much she was going to take. Its not clear if she gave up work and so lost salary - the article does not mention this so I presume not.

Very odd case. If its appealed, will be interesting to see the final outcome.

But the court has considered all of the evidence, not the limited amount of it that we know, and they have determined that this is fair.

Yeah, with no concept of the fact that their parents aren’t the ones being taxed, they are…and that free money that they didn’t work for and got because they won the birth lottery should be taxed.

It doesn’t sound like any of the siblings stepped in to do any care for their mother whatsoever, not even sitting with her whilst her carers had a break.
Bern and her husband said she couldn’t be left alone not even for a small shopping trip.
All the siblings sound awful, she deserves every penny.
At the end of the day it’s a family squabble over inheritance.

In another article ‘The sitting judge also pointed out that Mr Wills was ‘not aware’ of his mother’s double incontinence, Type 2 diabetes, cataracts, diverticulitis or kidney disease until the criminal trial’.
Shows what a loving & present son he was. I wonder if the other siblings were also ‘not aware’ of their mother’s issues.

And yes, what Bern did was wrong in transferring the money after her mother’s death but as other PPs have commented, she may have realised that her caring contributions were being dismissed by her siblings & she would not get repaid for her care.

The care provided by each of the sibling was documented on the invoice

In the judgement it was noted that the family explored all different options including the DM staying with each of them in turn for 3 months at a time
It was agreed and the daughter put forward that she wanted to care for her to provide stability for a DM with dementia who would be easily confused