How did no one notice the wrong boy was alive for 3 weeks

[NewYearss]

So in Yorkshire the police have mixed up two boys, one who died in a crash and one on life support. They told the wrong family their boy had died and the other that their son was still alive.
I just don’t understand how this wasn’t picked up for three weeks. Surely the family visiting the wrong boy in hospital would notice straight away?

I thought it was only a couple of hours before it was realised. Had no idea it was three weeks! How did the families not realise?!

When I was a kid I was in hospital and my mam befriended the teen in the bed next to me. She was 16 and in traction from a car crash where she had been a passenger in a street race and crushed from the waist down. I was in hospital for a month and she was still in when I left, no one ever came to visit her in that time.

Seems she was a bit of 'wild child' who had probably not made the best choices (hence the nearly dying in a drag race with her not such a great choice boyfriend) and her family had just completely cut her off.

No idea why no friends ever visited.

She seemed quite calm, friendly and normal to us. She made no fuss (and it must have been painful) and caused no issues for anyone so personality wise she didn't come across like a bad person.

I guess wrong friends, a few bad life choices and parents with 'conditional' love (because I know if my kid nearly died in a car crash I would show up even if they where an uncontrollable devil child).

No they wouldn’t necessarily. Read the comments from people on this thread whose loved ones have been so disfigured and in a coma that you really
cant tell. I had the opposite reaction - I couldn’t believe this person in the bed WAS my mum. She didn’t look anything like her she was so disfigured, and there wasn’t enough uninjured body visible to tell from things like moles or foot shape. It was only being handed a bag of my Mum’s rings that I had to accept it was her. It was weeks before she even vaguely resembled her pre crash state in very small ways (eg shape of knuckles)

Happened with Josie and Megan Russell. It wasn’t till their dad got to the hospital that they realised who had survived. So tragic.

You underestimate how little of a body you can see when they are critically ill. You also underestimate how swollen a body pumped full of fluids, various drugs etc fighting to live looks.

and that's without talking about complications that can arise such as septic shock, compartment syndrome etc or injuries if an accident such as a car crash like in this instance.

How would you be able to recognise your child by their hands and feet if they have turned black, are about twice their usual size and are bandaged due to septic shock?

I feel so sorry for both families, it’s so very sad especially for the very young man who has died.
I also feel for for the police personnel involved, it’s a mistake, a very serious one but it’s not malicious.

A lady who worked in my husband's office was in the 7/7 bombings and it took a few days to identify her. She was badly injured and was placed into a coma after her surgery to recover. She had no hair as it had been burned off and her face had swelled up due to the explosion, so I can definitely see why a person might not be recognised by their own family.

What an awful situation for this family. I can understand how this might happen and it is just one of those freak occurrences.

Yep. This was me with my son.

I knew it was him because he had a cardiac arrest right in front of me and I was right back with him as soon as he was as stable as they could get him. He was swollen, tubes everywhere etc and I couldn't believe that was the same child.

It then got worse when septic shock and compartment syndrome set in. His limbs were black and swollen, his knee was disfigured due to compartment syndrome and his whole body was just massively swollen and covered in tubes and wires.

and my son wasn't in an accident, he developed complications due to an illness so add in major injuries from accidents too and I can easily see how it's possible for a parent not to recognise their child.

Would you? I think most people would be in such shock they would find themselves believing what they had been told, and assuming that checks had been made. LIt is such an awful situation for all involved. The irony of it breaking as news on the day the new regulationS for young drivers are under review has not gone un noticed. I personally think it is a huge shame that the proposal to ban new young drivers from giving lifts to their same age friends has been

I’d never thought I’d be pleased that all of my boys are covered in tattoos.

I wonder if the 'perverting' the course of justice refers to an individual leaving the scene of the crash?

clothes would have been removed, he's not lying in ICU in bloodied jeans! Smell would be of hospital/ he'd have been cleaned up with medical stuff not his usual body wash. feel of him etc all distorted by odema and tubes. facial features distorted by injury, swelling, bandages. we all like to think we're such great parents we'd never do that, but you add in adrenaline, sleep deprivation, someone TELLING you this is your kid but don't worry if he looks different..... and I can totally see how it happens. same for the deceased lad.

the qn is how they identified them initially - coach seating plan, someone saying who's who, ID, descriptions etc.

poor both sets of parents

Tone deaf and highly judgmental.

Unlikely he was unrecognisable by family though ,if he had sustained injuries that made him unrecognisable to family surely forensic identification would have been done immediately?
As for the deceased boy, if he was unrecognisable due to injury,forensic identification would have been used.
Perhaps theres more to this .
Will the police be explaining how and why the boys were wrongly identified?

I can believe that someone wouldn't receive many or any visits from family even if they were in a coma.

Reminds me of a recent thread where neonatal nurses talked about seriously ill babies whose parents had to be told to come in and visit/care for them (and were surprised to be asked).

Some people/families are chronically passive for one reason or another. If "the services are dealing with it", it's considered to be out of their hands, no matter what it is. I worked with a few people like this in my previous career in social work. Very sad - often it's not because they're lazy or unempathetic, it's because they have no understanding how anything they might do would be helpful.

No idea if that's the case here, but it's one perspective.

Dismissed. Sorry lost half my post. I meant to say that young drivers love to give their friends lifts but it is so very dangerous. New drivers need all their skills focussed and concentrated, they should not be distracted by loud music, chat, driving at night,poor speed awareness, poor ability to read other road users intentions etc. Not to mention the temptation of using drugs or alcohol ( not suggesting this was involved in the above case btw). Other countries keep their young drivers safe by limiting lift giving, regulating speed, restricting hours of driving .

I wish we could do the same. I lost two friends to car crashes at the age of 18, and was involved in a crash as a passenger which luckily did not involve injury, though still not sure how we walked away. Cars these days are faster and more powerful, but kids still have exactly the same poor ability to factor in risk.

Thats very true.
My heart breaks for both families.
Must be truly awful to have sat and prayed for your child's recovery only to realise later he was already dead.

Allllll of this.

The people who are saying there's no way this could have happened are very lucky to have never seen anyone on life support after a serious accident.

And also, even if there is the slightest doubt, I imagine families would block it out anyway, with desperate hope that it was their son - this would probably be subconscious. People don't look the same unconscious in hospital, let alone with tubes coming out of them, and probably bandages/dressings/swellings/injuries.

Seriously? Of course he was badly injured, it's not normal to be in a coma for weeks on end!

I used to work in Maxill- Facial surgery so I can totally understand how the parents didn’t recognise their own son if he had severe facial injuries. I’m very glad that DS1 has identifiable tattoos. DS2 has a birthmark on his arm, but if that was covered, I’m not sure where I’d start.

Just before Christmas DS1’s best friend was attacked. It was a one punch, and he’s lucky to be alive. The poor lad needed surgery to reduce swelling on the brain and stop the bleeding, he had to have a metal plate fitted in his skull and 32 staples. DS1 went to see him in hospital, when he was in a coma, and phoned me in tears after to say “ if I didn’t know that was X in the bed, I wouldn’t have had a clue…”

Dental records are very easy to obtain and check.

We don’t know that they had family visitors at all. They may have been in care.

It is absolutely possible that he was unrecognisable by family. A person can look incredibly different when they are critically unwell enough to be on life support.

No it really isn’t unlikely that someone in that condition was unrecognisable by family.

why aren’t people who have no direct experience of loved ones injured in ICU reading and acknowledging the experiences of those of us who do but instead thinking they are better people who would of course be able to tell.

those of us who have been there and couldn’t tell - we’ve lived it - we aren’t shit people. We aren’t unobservant or less knowledgeable of our loved ones. FFS.