'Couples with children 'have to work THREE TIMES as hard as single mothers to stay above the poverty line'

[littlelamb]

Its the Mail, sorry
Reporting like this makes me so mad, even though to an extent it is true. I am a single parent, a 'feckless girl' as one of the comments puts it and I do not sit on my backside, I have a full time job that is bloody hard work. Because I work, I recieve tax credits, without which I could not work. They pay for my childcare. I have a friend who married last year, having been a single parent for 3 years previously, who now cannot afford to work as she would get no help with childcare costs. So in this respect, yes I suppose they are worse off financially as a couple tan they would be as two single people. But to say her husband works 3 times as hard as me to cope financially ??? I hate hate hate the bloody daily mail, and its constant suggestions that single mothers are all undeserving scroungers

i had a letter off the council saying if i disregarded my husband I would get a 50% cut in my bill made me laugh it did. I had applied because dd was disabled but I was told chuck out my H

I am only expressing my own situation, don't know if it relates to subject and know many single mums who are struggling. I am a mum who has seperated from the father however still lives with him as he is a great father. I have two jobs and studying and most importantly a mum. I dont read the newspapers so am unaware of headlines but I pay towards lodgins and for my child. I get child mate from father who is my best freind. The goverment would not help me when I was not working and caring for my son (not an attack) and I did Avon, childminding to try and get by....which was hard as everything went quite rightly to my son ( bloody hell school can be expensive). Didn't use dentist docs for self as couldn't afford pescriptions. Didn't by clothes etc....food tesco value which is fine (no advertising meant). A really depressing time, no childcare help when working so much of my wages went on after school clubs etc, plus you do not get much sympathy as you all may know when child is ill etc. Not looking for sympathy, just wanted to outline own experience if it relates. I am a single mum, I do have a roof over my head which I pay towards out of my wages. Dont want to piss people off, but have support of father but not financially aprt from child maintenence. It is bloody tough and thank heavens I am really healthy, however sis got married this month posh style...nightmare cos I couldn't afford clothing etc....not looking forward to the photos.

Damn I went one, soz and hope I didn't offend anyone.

See, I don't get this. I'm absolutely sure my Dh works very hard, and I know I do, but I'm 100% convinced that we don't work 'three times' as hard as my single-parent friends.

What utter shite-stirring, divisive bollocks. And yes, I know it's the Mail, and therefore expected, but I like to periodically register my opinion on it;s crapness.

Vixma - it IS tough, there's no denying it! Sounds like you're doing amazingly well though, keeping it all together, so a big to you.

LMD

Message withdrawn

Joash's situation is pretty much parallel to ours.

ARghghghghghg...

I'm a single mother and it is annoying shite. Other couples may be working hard, but theirs is more likely to be an investment into their future. They probably have a mortgage and a car and a pension. And THAT is why they have no money left over.

'They probably have a mortgage and a car and a pension. And THAT is why they have no money left over. '

I'm sorry to say, you have very little understanding of what life is like for working poor couples if you believe this to be true.

Reality for the vast majority of low-income working couples is far, far from such a scenario.

We struggle as a couple with one child, but we do have a mortgage on a modest house and we do run a car (no choice where we live). But we choose to have one of us (DH) stay at home. A single parent doesn't have that option.

The equivalent position to a single parent would be for us to still be in the same financial position if we both worked. Well with childcare costs we wouldn't be far off, but it's not a comparable situation.

Single parents - respect to you all. I don't know how you do it.

I agree it's not a comparable situation from a purely physical standpoint or emotionally.

BUT, Joash's posts do spell out a more than uncommon reality for low-income couples.

I'm talking people who earn, say £14-£16000 or so gross and are in a couple.

Expat! I actually meant the people who come up with these statements and either put them in the paper, or people who argue with me on chat forums, not just this one! that they really are as poor as I am!!!

Twinklemegan has it really. Working is an uphill struggle to operate at a slight PROFIT rather than at a loss! But at least if you know you are chipping away at your mortgage month after month, that is something. It's an achievment, working towards the goal of paying mortgage off. And if you are working, you are paying into a work pension, and presumably making some progress at work.

I don't begrudge working people these small things. A roof over your head shouldn't be too much to ask when you've worked your whole life!!

The point I'm making is that there are some people in those shoes who would come on to this board as seriously argue with me that they are 'as badly off' as I am. It's happened to me, not with this screen name though.

They are the ones who are out of touch with reality. As a single mother of two children who is caught in the poverty trap (can't afford childcare so I can work and better myself) I am not on any property ladder, I have no pension, no savings, no prospects really......... so I think I have a greater understanding of poverty than most.

'But at least if you know you are chipping away at your mortgage month after month, that is something. It's an achievment, working towards the goal of paying mortgage off. And if you are working, you are paying into a work pension, and presumably making some progress at work.'

And all I'm saying is that, for us and for MANY other working poor couples, working has made us poorer financially than if I were a lone parent on benefits.

That's the God honest truth.

When I was the sole breadwinner, making the big £14,800/year and once I passed £14,500 there were no working tax credits, there was NO contributing to a pension.

I couldn't afford it.

Much less a mortgage.

No free prescriptions, school lunches, rent paid, minimal council tax, healthy start vouchers, etc.

That is the reality for millions of working poor couples.

I'm talking about strictly in a financial sense.

Working does NOT make you better off financially unless you're pulling in a living wage.

It really doesn't.

The majority of employers no longer open their pension programmes to new employees, no longer have them or don't contribute.

A HUGE percentage of working poor couples have NO hope in hell of ever having a mortgage, and just as slim a chance of getting socialised housing.

This is the truth.

Hats off to lone parents.

I salute them.

But please do not assume that low-income working couples have an easier ride financially.

Because they don't.

It's not an assumption I make expat. My 'gripe' is with people who take a swipe at lone parents. So what if some lone parents are not absolutely starving. If some are managing well, then it is not down to benefits so there's no need for begrudgery.

It's not a contest. WHO is the poorest? Lots of people struggle.

my husband now has a full time job, mumble.

i still work freelance in a writing capacity, yes.

of course it isn't a contest, elizabeth.

no one said it was.

but it's a big assumption that all couples who work are better off financially.

SIL was once a lone parent on benefits. her ex is such an arsehole, i wouldn't trade her lot for anything.

but she was better off financially than we were.

again, no one i'd begrudge her, her life has been so hard it's not true.

I am sick of it being made into a contest though, (and this is not a swipe at you) aNd it regularly is, even on Mumsnet where hatred for dailymailism is palpaple and the posters are bit more enlightened, compassionate and intelligent than the average man on the street.

I don't go 'round pointing the finger at particular 'groups' who are better off than I am and making threads about it. I don't blame other poor groups for my own poverty trap.

I was insulted by your comment that I had no understanding of what life is like for low income couples. I can imagine exactly what it is like. Poor is poor, with or without a partner.

You say your SIL was 'better off' on benefits than you and your husband were. But was she investing into her future career? Was she contributing to a pension? There is more to being 'better off' than a few pence in your hand. There is the day AFTER tomorrow to think of too.

'But was she investing into her future career? Was she contributing to a pension? There is more to being 'better off' than a few pence in your hand. There is the day AFTER tomorrow to think of too.'

But Elizabeth, MOST working poor couples aren't contributing to a pension and don't have the money to invest in a future career.

They cannot afford these things anymore than any other poor person, be they on benefits, a pensioner, disabled, etc.

I'm rather insulted that you're still not getting my point.

I have stated over and over again that I was posting regarding the financial aspect ONLY.

And the fact is, that for most working poor couples, they are living below the poverty line after taxes and NI, particularly if they are not eligible for working tax credits.

I didn't start this thread, either.

Nor do I start ones about people on benefits or lone parents, because I think it's unfair to target vulerable people and particularly to blame single mothers and not mention the men who can't be arsed to help support their former partner and kids.

But at the same time, working poor couples aren't living hte life of Riley from a financial standpoint by any means, especially now the 10p tax band has been abolished and they are paying more taxes away on their meagre income.

And yes, my SIL did 'invest in a future career'.

She trained as a hairdresser once her kids started school and is now working.

Still a lone parent, but much better off without her dope-addicted, abusive, lazy, lowlife ex.

Good for her. I may do something similar. I can't right now because I have two children and even the oldest finishes school at 1.10

Money aside, life is so much easier without some useless wanchor dragging you down. So many people put up with so much.

She put up with his drug use and verbal/physical abuse for 10 years.

The twat NEVER helped her with those kids, anyhow. She actually found her life easier without him, less mess to clean up and less stress and she was used to do all the parenting on her own, anyhow.

He made a bunch of empty threats when she left.

We all wish him nothing but the worst.

I have an ex like that. No drugs. But he was an aggressive controlling sod. He still insults me on a regular basis. Verbally, and by putting £1 a month into my bank account!!

I also find life far easier now. I do it all and I pay for it all, but I always did really, there's just less resentment now.

I know there are also plenty of women on this board (and in rl) who have good husbands though. I hope my daughter has a lovely husband one day. I would hate to think I was giving her the impression that that wasn't possible or that it wasn't very likely.

He's in his 40s and he's never worked in his entire adult life.

Well, except as a dope dealer.

And after all his threats that he was going to keep the kids - LOL! - he can't be arsed to come out of the dope smoke to even see them anymore.

He's a loser.

We all hope better for our kids, and by leaving that scumbag, SIL's are definitely getting that.