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Original poster

Dooce, pioneering "mummy blogger" dead at 47

22 replies

GeriKellmansUpdo · 11/05/2023 10:21

Was really sad to read this. Hers was one of the early blogs I used to read when I had severe PPD in 2004. She had a very strong voice, which stood out at the time. I had stopped reading her in recent years because I stopped reading blogs, but so sorry to hear of her sad passing. Heather Armstrong, blogger and force behind Dooce.com, dies aged 47 | US news | The Guardian

Heather Armstrong, blogger and force behind Dooce.com, dies aged 47

One of the first and most popular mommy bloggers, she wrote frankly about her children, relationships and other challenges

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/may/10/heather-armstrong-blogger-dooce-dies

OP posts:
Original poster
GeriKellmansUpdo · 11/05/2023 14:13

I guess no one read her back in the day? I am so old. Sigh.

OP posts:
starfright · 11/05/2023 14:15

I did! So gutted to hear of her passing, and thinking of her 2 beautiful girls

BertieBotts · 11/05/2023 14:16

That's sad :( I am surprised that I hadn't heard of her because that's the time I was reading a lot of blogs like that. But in any case it's no age and very tragic. RIP.

OMalleysAlley · 11/05/2023 14:18

I did, I remember her from 10+ years ago.

This is very sad, but I'm also kind of not shocked, she'd had lots of troubles.

47 is so young.

LucyGoosey22 · 11/05/2023 14:24

I was really saddened by this too. I read her blog on and off back then, but hadn't read for years. Last time I read she seemed in a good place, controlling her depression through diet and exercise as well as medication and knowing what she needed to keep on an even keel.

I dipped back in today and remembered how much I had enjoyed that voice.

Original poster
GeriKellmansUpdo · 11/05/2023 14:34

I believe she was recently cancelled for airing "TERF" views. One of her daughters is now non-binary. I feel so sorry for them both.

It's got me thinking about the dangers of living your entire life online. How the internet can chew you up and spit you out.

OP posts:
OMalleysAlley · 11/05/2023 14:45

I keep seeing people comment on insta that she'd relapsed.

aramox1 · 11/05/2023 14:59

Oh that's utterly tragic. I remember the blog from when the kids were small.

ThenAgain · 11/05/2023 15:12

GeriKellmansUpdo · 11/05/2023 14:34

I believe she was recently cancelled for airing "TERF" views. One of her daughters is now non-binary. I feel so sorry for them both.

It's got me thinking about the dangers of living your entire life online. How the internet can chew you up and spit you out.

I was really sad to read this too. I’m the same, one of the first blogs I read and she had such a funny, unique voice at the time. I remember being jealous of how lovely her life looked.

I’d only wondered about her recently and so sad to see that she relapsed. I can imagine she’d had multiple struggles but I can’t imagine how hard a backlash about trans related comments would be during recovery. I doubt there will be much reflection on that. So sorry for her family.

whatisgoingonintheworld · 11/05/2023 15:28

GeriKellmansUpdo · 11/05/2023 14:34

I believe she was recently cancelled for airing "TERF" views. One of her daughters is now non-binary. I feel so sorry for them both.

It's got me thinking about the dangers of living your entire life online. How the internet can chew you up and spit you out.

Wow, that's really sad. TERF is the new word chucked around at women who have an opinion that doesn't fit with the new ideology the young have swallowed hook, line and sinker. Cancelling someone for a different opinion.

Puppypuppypuppy · 11/05/2023 18:57

I was so shocked to see this news today and I thought there might be a discussion on here (I am not here often these days). I started to read Dooce at around the same time I discovered Mumsnet when my kids were tiny. She was a brilliant writer and used that gift to normalise so many of the the conversations we take for granted today on the challenges of parenting and mental health. On the downside, at least from my point of view, she pioneered opening yourself and your family online and then monetising that attention. She was so successful at one point - I think she had millions of followers. I remember being absolutely (and horribly) fascinated with the divorce and the impact that had on her ability to create authentic content. She was an absolute trailblazer, for good and ill. Thinking of her kids and family.

EconomyClassRockstar · 11/05/2023 23:59

@Puppypuppypuppy I agree. She was also a key reason why people started questioning the ethics of Mom/mummy blogging as a genre and the affect it has on one's children. Over recent years, it seems sadly almost inevitable as she was all over the place. I think it destroyed her when her public facade crumbled. I just feel so desperately sad for those two kids.

On a whole other note, I wonder if this will start a conversation about the anti/hate websites like GOMI and Tattle and the part they play in the mental health of people who use social media/blogging/etc to make a living.

ecuse · 12/05/2023 00:54

I came on here to see whether others were as sad as I about this. I read Dooce obsessively in the mid 00s and for many years. More recently since she blogged less I've been following her on social media.

What an absolute pioneer she was. I admired her courage in getting up off the floor over and over again when depression floored her, and she was such a beautiful writer.

I didn't know her at all but I liked her and her family so much. Those poor kids. Its silly to be sad about someone you don't know but I do feel terribly sad.

lljkk · 12/05/2023 06:47

Her poor kids. RIP.

teezletangler · 12/05/2023 07:18

Such sad news. I read her blog way, way before I had kids, when I was in my early 20s. I had completely forgotten about her but I immediately recognized the name when I saw the news. She was compelling and I remember so vividly how she wrote about her experience with severe PPD.

NoSquirrels · 12/05/2023 11:28

I’m also extremely sad about this. It is Mother’s Day in the US this weekend. In years to come, that will almost certainly fall on the anniversary of her death. It’s a brutal blow and I think her children have clearly suffered a lot in their lives already. I’m holding them in my heart, for what good it will do.

She talked a lot about the genetic component of depression, how it ran in her family. She was also clearly a deeply complicated personality and in recent years her social media has been upsetting to see on several levels. I’m desperately sorry she didn’t get a happier ending.

Herethere123 · 13/05/2023 09:58

So pleased to see this thread. I read Heather's writing for years way back but stopped at some point but saw the news on Thursday and have been really shocked by how much it upset me. Partly I think because my reaction didn't feel shared in the way it does when somebody high profile and mainstream dies and you experience the shock collectively. My partner hadn't heard of her for e.g. It's also possibly because having read the blog most in its hey day I hadn't been aware of the subseqent changes to Heather's public image and life events and so there was also a shock reaction to that. I feel a bit confused as to why this has affected me as much as it has (not in a drastic way but just keep thinking about it). Perhaps it's just that, troubles aside, her raw and honest style of writing somehow encouraged me to think that these were being processed openly and healthily (at the time) and that was just not the case.

Absolutely devastating for her children.

Pantouflarde · 13/05/2023 14:33

I was really shocked to read the news earlier this week and am glad there's a thread as I also have found it a little unnerving how sad I've been about the news, with nobody IRL who had heard of her. It was so surreal to see her face as the top BBC News story and then see the reason why.

I found her blog when Leta was about to be born - goodness knows how, I was only a teenager at the time. Like others here I was a regular reader and at some point I wasn't any more, but I did used to check her Instagram from time to time and it was sad to see how erratic some of her writing had become.

I even went back onto Dooce this week and reread some of her first posts about Leta, which I must have last read in 2004, and they are so beautifully written and raw and as someone else said here, trailblazing. I wish I'd read them when my DC was born last year. Her comparison of breastfeeding to stapling a penis made me properly laugh out loud.

Anyway. It's all very sad and I'm glad there is a little corner here to share that with.

NoSquirrels · 13/05/2023 14:41

If anyone wants to venture into Reddit there are a couple of very long threads there with a lot of people sharing their own conflicted feelings - it’s helpful to hear others discuss it.

I was trying to explain to my DH yesterday, and said the strangest feeling for me is that - as she had a lot of DRAMA! HEATHER! especially in latter years when I’d check in now and then - I keep expecting to hear her voice again with her explanation of what’s happened and how she’s dealing with it. Of course, that’s ridiculous. She’s dead. We can never hear her voice again. But I still … expect it somehow.

And I am still thinking so much of her children, and her mother.

Puppypuppypuppy · 13/05/2023 18:08

Thanks Squirrels have ventured into Reddit and it’s helpful, particularly the Rachel Woolf substack. It’s so weird - I definitely had a parasocial relationship with Dooce back in the day. I hadn’t read her for years and hadn’t even checked in on socials. But this news has completely transported me back to that time with tiny kids, how alone I felt and how her blog made me feel like part of a secret club - of women who loved their kids but also thought Wtf have I done? That club is huge now! But in the early 2000s I was so relieved to find a kindred spirit

Pantouflarde · 26/07/2023 13:37

Reviving this thread as I had somehow missed that the memorial service is online. I watched some of it and found it very moving.

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