Why so many similar stories of affluent british men murdering their families?

[Mummyof287]

Horrible to hear about the poor headteacher who was murdered along with her poor innocent little girl yesterday by the one person they should have been loved and protected by the most.

This story sounds so familiar to others.High powered successful affluent couple, man/father suddenly goes crazy and turns on his family murdering them and often himself.

I just wonder why this keeps happening.So very sad :(

They have to be in control. When faced with situations they can't control, they do this because they think that means they're back in control again. It's all control and ego-driven.

Because they think of their women and children as possessions.

It’s absolutely heart breaking. Saw this tonight about the mum from Bristol who was lured up with her child to Scotland too. It feels like an every day occurrence, doesn’t it?

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0f0mpyv

So sick and tired of male violence

Because the press reports more of the "affluent" perpetrators as they sell papers.

There are horrid sordid nasty men, who are not affluent, who commit violent crimes against women all the time. Their victims just don't get the press inches as they are mostly not affluent too 😔

It's just awful.

This horrific murder for example, by a sordid horrible waste of a man.

www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/dawn-walker-murder-newlyweds-body-22034515

It's real Happy Valley stuff, from the same area. People like watching it on prime time drama, but it doesn't sell national papers,

Dawn Walker was a wonderful woman. But sadly not deemed newsworthy.

Male violence is horrific. Truly horrible. It crosses all demographics. It's just we only get to read about some.

I don’t think the man you are referring to was ‘affluent’. His wife was a high earner, but his’company’ had reserves of £31 at audit. He was going to live In a House her employment provided, they had sold their previous house.

I think he killed her from envy and inferiority .

The successful wealthy ones tend to be more likely to make the news, although it happens at every level.

This.

I live in rural Norfolk and there’s been at least two similar murders in the last year in the surrounding area but they never made national news. We have a lot of people in the countryside with guns.

Agree it’s frightening

Where are you getting the idea it's just affluent men who kill their wives and children?
And in the case you quote there's no evidence the husband was affluent anyway. His wife was a high earner but im not sure that would put them in the really wealthy league

There was one in Nantes in France who was an aristocrat. Killed his 4 kids and wife and dog. He disappeared though rather than killing himself. It was in a netflix documentary. You probably hear more about the affluent ones as someone said though

To be fair @TangoBrava, that one was definitely reported. I remember it being on the radio news because I collected my daughter from preschool and that was on the report before I had a chance to change it over. Cue a discussion about why husbands would kill wives, at 4....

I don't remember it being on prime time, sorry. Although of course I believe you!

It definitely was not front page across nine different newspapers though. People on the street didn't know the story, and her name - Dawn Walker - is not widely known, even though her killer has now been convicted.

Emma Pattinson though will be. But we need to keep saying the names of those not in the headlines.

*Pattison. Darn auto correct.

Although now I want to know what her pre married surname was.

It's a control thing. Certain types of men don't like their wives to be more successful/popular than them. Affects all parts of society, not just the affluent.

Agreed, it is completely horrific that women and children are being harmed by those who ought to be caring for them, and your question is really important.

There is a belief that these men "suddenly" goes crazy but actually you will find in these cases that coercive control has been at play for a long as the man has been with his partner.

It is only recently that men were legally allowed to rape their wives. And not long before that men were legally allowed to beat their wives. Up until the 60s women victims were blamed for being victims; they were labeled 'masochists' and beatings were labeled "violent, temporary therapy." time.com/3426225/domestic-violence-therapy/

For every woman who is murdered by their partner there are many more who are barely living but merely surviving psychological and emotional abuse, gaslighting and emotional cruelty, while trying to raise and protect their children.

If you'd like to understand more about family violence, here is an excellent interview with Lundy Bancroft, who has worked in the field of DV for 30 years.

Lundy Bancroft Interview:

open.spotify.com/episode/1KUOjUl5p4HVkHd9QjQuSx?si=GLPdvduGR2-NjjTzv7rwMQ

It is about 10 women a month in England I believe. Killed by partner or ex partner. Some of those men kill their children and themselves too.

@TangoBrava

It might not have made the TV or the radio initially, but the news report of his conviction was definitely on the radio - the body in the suitcase detail was unfortunately very memorable. In fact, my daughter does still talk about it. I'm afraid that I had forgotten Dawn's name, so when it comes up again I shall make sure it is remembered

Agree with @Allthegoodnamesarechosen . No evidence he was particularly successful. I got the feeling he was very much a “trailing spouse” with a.bit of a hobby job. She was the successful one.

I think because they were a middle class family it made the news. Its a "people like us" thing as far as the newsmen are concerned.

It’s toxic masculinity. It’s what ‘gender’ actually means. Gender means ideas of ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity’. Awful outdated stereotypes about what men and women should be like, and how they should relate to each other interpersonally and how they should be arranged in a hierarchy with men at the top.
And the belief in these shitty stereotypes leads to misery, cruelty, pain and violence being meted out to those who don’t conform for whatever reason. It’s embedded in our culture. It’s very very hard to face up to how utterly pervasive it is. That’s why people try to look the other way and to minimise. The reality is too real, too completely horrifying.

I work with vulnerable families, and am aware that there is a huge DV problem (across all walks of life) and sadly many deaths due to this.

However the cases i am thinking about here seem different as it is reported that these men are loving, stable husbands and fathers with no criminal background, negative personality traits or even evidence of poor mental health, and that this is a shocking,out of character event.

But I do wonder if there IS actually some sort of hidden domestic abuse occurring behind the scenes in these cases too, but these families are just not on the radar, better at covering things up and more able to hide it, because it is less expected of them due to having such an outwardly facing successful, intelligent and stable sort of presentation.

These are a couple of other similar cases.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/spalding-shooting-husband-who-killed-8452192.amp

www.google.com/amp/s/www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/barry-murder-mochrie-crime-killer-18550384.amp

I agree perhaps they are reported more do it being such a shock that these are not knowingly problematic or dysfunctional families, and the men come across as successful, decent and balanced characters.

Another case from 2009 where a man killed his wife and child - Jill and Kirstie Foster were murdered, then the house was set on fire, by ‘millionaire businessman Christopher Foster’.

2009 Murders

He shot their dogs and horses as well, before killing himself.