David Blunkett affair

[Tinker]

Sad lonely man? None of our business? Discuss?

Must say, it would be more believable if she were the blind partner

I find it very odd that she could go through fertility treatment (if they did) while simultaneously having an affair. It's such an emotional process and so time dependent. And given the importance of timing isn't the baby more likely to be her husband's? Who would have fertility treatment and then head off for a quick one with someone else.....don't understand that bit.

He has a broken heart though. I think she has broken his heart. In the context of their relationship, she dumped him so I feel sorrier for him. Agree with whoever has said he'll be back though.
In the meantime, Charles Clarke as Home Secretary?

Maybe the bonking on the side was a kind of insurance - if the fertility treatment doesn't work... Not a decision I'd make but you can see the logic. TBH think both of them are appalling (Blunkett's had other affairs with people who work for him) but that you should hold fire on a pregnant woman and leave the arguments until she's recovered.

I so agree with you Edam, esp re double standards. Pisses me off no end.

I've got to the point where I don't have any opinions at all. A kind of generalised and confused despair swamps me.

I PERSONALLY think she's worse because she was married and he wasn't - like Boris, there is that element of betrayal of someone you have made vows to. But more, because she has had at least one child with this man - in his speech he said they had TWO positive DNA tests and I'm damn sure he wouldn't say that if he hadn't - and now, because she wants to play happy families has decided to cut him out of his own child's life. I think that's indefensible and wicked. Suppose a woman came onto Mumsnet and said that her ex had suddenly told her that as he was now married to very respectable woman who was prepared to take on her baby and raise him as their own in a decent loving, intact family, she wouldn't be seeing her child anymore. Would anyone say this was a good thing and for the sake of her child she should just walk away? He doesn't want residence, he just wants to see the little boy he loves from time to time. Is that so much to ask? How vindictive must K F-Q be? It's not like he doesn't know him. They spent a lot of time together before she decided to stop that. What was she planning to do? Lie to those kids for the rest of their lives? And if she's well enough to get on the phone to spill more bile to Dominic Lawson, then no, I don't feel sorry for her at all.

She could have prevented the court case at any time by agreeing to allow him to see his own son. She has brought every single thing upon herself IMO.

That's what Blunkett, claims, of course. The man's a bruiser who never pulls his punches ? I'd bet a large amount of money on his conversations with KF-Q being extremely combative and at least contributing to the situation where the two of them obviously can't even have a civil conversation. There are lots of stories/rumours, maybe unfair, maybe untrue, but plenty of them, about his attitude to women from way back.

I think it's clear though that she is refusing to let him see his child at all. And that it is his child. He hasn't seen him since last August, and that's clearly not his choice.

Well, I know what you mean Aloha, and I don't think anyone comes out of this well, they're all hideous and they're all behaving badly. I just think he sounds like a bully. He presumably knew what he was doing - you have an affair with a married woman, you know she may not leave her husband. I agree that it's unfair that he's not allowed to see his child though. If it is his and although he may have done 'informal' dna tests and leaked the results, surely that's not the way to go about it? Not sure I really have an opinion either though, like MI, really was trying to work out what I feel about this on the way to work this morning and am not entirely sure, it has to be said!

Agree with aloha. Yes they have both behaved badly but her behaviour is despicable I think. And yes, I do think it's worse because she was the married one. I think Boris (hate him as well) is worse becasue he was the married one. I'm not hating her because she's a woman, but because she appears to have utterly used this man who appers to have genuinely been in love with her. And, I think (speculating) used him with the agreement of her husband. The subject of children was obviously an issue in teh reltionship, hence the vasectomey reversal. So, (speculating wildly again) I suspect he sanctioned the relationship hoping that if she got pregnant she'd stay with him (Mr Q). She started affair with DB within 9 weeks of getting married. And I would suggest she has calculatedly leaked the story to time with being pregnant in a hope to obtain the sympathy/leave her alone vote. I don't doubt that he is a bully but so is she. And she seems malicious and selfish with it.

Typed mine as you posted yours www!

The double standards really annoy me, too. I know of various couples socially where the man has had a "crisis" and gone off to live with a mistress for a few months, and then has come back all sheepish to his wife and family, and the whole group of friends is relieved that he has done the "right" thing in returning to the marriage, and everyone says what a fool the mistress was, because "everyone knows" married men never leave their wives. Why is KQ not allowed the same licence to have an affair, repent, and return? OTOH, I agree that it is superficially pretty nasty and weird to allow your paramour so much contact with your child, including holidays, and then suddenly cut it all off like that. Who did the little child think that DB was all this time? Some sort of special friend of Mummy??!!

Well, it seems they agreed on DNA tests, used a hair (I think) from one of his older sons, and the result, which she read out to him, was positive, so not that informal. He says they repeated the process to be sure. So I think she knows exactly what she is doing. I agree they were both behaving in a most extraordinary way, and that if you have an affair with a married person there is always the very real prospect they will never leave them to be with you, no matter what they say, but I still don't think this means that if you have children together you should just be expected to walk away from them. While he may well have a totalitarian streak and a bullying manner - as I say, I dislike him intensely as home secretary - I don't think it is bullying anyone to want to see your own beloved son.

I'm not sure there are double standards here, actually. We hate Boris more because he betrayed his wife and four kids. We (possibly) hate Kimberly more because she betrayed her husband (nine weeks after their wedding! While he was having a vasectomy reversal!). Nobody is saying she is wrong to stay with her husband but I do think it is wrong to prevent a man (or woman) from seeing their own child just because you are in another relationship. I think if the kids were Quinn's then this would barely be a story.

everyone makes mistakes but her behaviour in the last few months has painted her as the bad guy in my eyes because she's painting the man who's her son's dad (probably) in a bad light - stuff that will damage him and her relationship with him in years to come. imagine him reading all this stuff when williams is older.

I don't see why she is worse than him, except for the fact we are led to believe that it is her fault that their relationship has reached the point where she denied him access to the child. Also, something is inconsistent in her not admitting he is the father and yet they were carrying on like a couple along with the child. There has got to be more to it, ie something must have happened between them to change everything, and I doubt it was just her suddenly deciding that she loved her husband more. Why did he go along with this weird arrangement for so long and conceive another child in those circumstances? I feel sorry for her because at her age and with her husband's age and vasectomy she must have been so terribly desperate to have children that it led her into doing something crazy. Does anyone know how come she never had any children in her first marriage? I am less sympathetic towards him because he could have more children at any age, and he may still go on to have more children, however, he's entitled to see his child and so far I'm not aware she has given any reason why, if he's the father, he should not?

This is from the Sun, so may be made up, but sadly sounds entirely believable:

Did she really think she could just click her fingers and make him disappear?

Think he genuinely believed she was going to leave her husband. Why did she go along with this weird arrangement? Her first marriage ended due to her frequent infidelities.

I suspect she wanted two kids, and when she'd got them, she wanted the picture perfect family and life to go with - and Blunkett didn't fit into it. I know my dh's would have LOVED it if my dh had vanished into a puff of smoke when she decided to dump him. She was most aggrieved when he didn't.

Well, if that's why her first marriage ended, just shows how very stupid DB is, if he believed she would be leaving her husband, and I'm still saying good riddance to him as Home Sec, because I think he was very stupid in the way he was Home Sec too ! If you want to persuade me that she is the worse one, you probably would have to persuade me that she really was more rightwing than DB, which I would find very hard to imagine On a tangent, after a few years of George Bush, why do I find that I have totally forgiven Bill Clinton for his adultery?

of course she is worse than him, he's not married

Oh, I think she is even more rightwing than DB - she was/is publisher of the Spectator! Actually, I did wonder if she was the source of some of his more brutish ideas.

of course she's worse than him she's denying him access to his child for no good reason (that we know of)

Adultery covers both of the persons involved, if one of them is married. Are you saying he did not know she was married?