The boy in the well.

[salsmum]

So sad to read that despite extensive rescue efforts the little boy who fell down a well in Morocco has died.
My thoughts go to his family, I think so many were praying for a better outcome.

Yes, poor little boy. They all did their best, but considering considering he'll fallen over 100 feet, the outcome was never going to be guaranteed. Poor family.

I’ve followed this for the last 3 days and when I woke up this morning the first thing I did was put the news on to see if there had been any progress. Such a sad, sad outcomes, just truly tragic.

The previous thread about this was deleted as it is very sad and sensitive. I suspect this one might go too.

I experienced something closely related to this when I was four involving a mine shaft but for a few hours not days. This sad sad story has brought it all flooding back. I was very lucky and against the odds but it could very very easily gone the other way.

My siblings would prefer not to speak about it and when I have mentioned it in the past everyone goes quiet and awkward. So I learnt never to speak about and block it our, which I have been fairly successful at. But with this story I can see the fear, the darkness, the wet and not wanting to move in case more rocks fall down.

I have never been so open before about how much this incident messed up my head. I just want to cry now and run away. The biggest part of me says block it out and dont post it, the other part says scream it out.

And then I think of that poor poor boy and I can see what he sees.

Sorry

@1dayatatime That's awful. I can see how this news story would tap into those memories for you. You would have been incredibly traumatised at the time. I hope you have someone you can talk to about it to help you process what you're feeling.

@1dayatatime

I experienced something closely related to this when I was four involving a mine shaft but for a few hours not days. This sad sad story has brought it all flooding back. I was very lucky and against the odds but it could very very easily gone the other way.

My siblings would prefer not to speak about it and when I have mentioned it in the past everyone goes quiet and awkward. So I learnt never to speak about and block it our, which I have been fairly successful at. But with this story I can see the fear, the darkness, the wet and not wanting to move in case more rocks fall down.

I have never been so open before about how much this incident messed up my head. I just want to cry now and run away. The biggest part of me says block it out and dont post it, the other part says scream it out.

And then I think of that poor poor boy and I can see what he sees.

Sorry

Oh gosh, you poor thing. I don’t think you should’ve been stopped from speaking about it. It can’t be right to have to pretend it didn’t happen.

@ApolloandDaphne

The previous thread about this was deleted as it is very sad and sensitive. I suspect this one might go too.

I had been wondering where this went

@1dayatatime I think you posted because you needed to. Perhaps it's the first step for you. Could you look into counselling for this. It really is not something that should or can be ignored or forgotten about. I am so sorry it happened to you. And so sorry those around you are clearly not dealing well with it.

Just watching the news. It’s the first time I’d actually seen any footage. It looked crazy, all the people there. I felt for his poor parents having to take a call from the king in a media spotlight when they looked exhausted and shell shocked.

It's incredibly sad, but unfortunately this thread will be deleted.

@1dayatatime

I experienced something closely related to this when I was four involving a mine shaft but for a few hours not days. This sad sad story has brought it all flooding back. I was very lucky and against the odds but it could very very easily gone the other way.

My siblings would prefer not to speak about it and when I have mentioned it in the past everyone goes quiet and awkward. So I learnt never to speak about and block it our, which I have been fairly successful at. But with this story I can see the fear, the darkness, the wet and not wanting to move in case more rocks fall down.

I have never been so open before about how much this incident messed up my head. I just want to cry now and run away. The biggest part of me says block it out and dont post it, the other part says scream it out.

And then I think of that poor poor boy and I can see what he sees.

Sorry

Don’t be sorry

Do what you need for you, even if it is just posting on a forum to strangers.

I had something a bit traumatic quite a few years ago. I got through the insomnia afterwards chatting on forums around the situation and general rubbish.
I will talk about part of it with certain friends whilst removing specific facts that I’d rather they didn’t share (they do know that I’m withholding something, so I have the better situation that it’s not unspeakable, just that I don’t want to load it on them)
I have gone into some more detail with strangers

I personally don’t want to speak about all of it, and the anniversary did get heavy on me with friends thinking of me then. I did create myself an escape by finding an ‘excuse’ to go away at that time among another friend group

I prefer to deal with small portions, and take happy triggers to the memory

The other night a similar thing was discussed, but in a prolonged discussion so it was building up and bringing it up back to me. I wasn’t entirely comfortable

For you this, if you think it may help, it could be an opportunity to bring it up.

Sometimes we just want to lock something away, and we might be able to manage that or we might not …. That’s the real problem

@LaurensILikeYouALot

Thank you for your kind words, i appreciate you are a stranger but it genuinely does make a difference that someone "gets it".

Actually I don't think I was that traumatised at the time simply because I was so young and didn't understand the seriousness of the situation.

I remember my late wonderful grandfather taking such care of me and really really ripping into my parents and siblings. It makes me teary now remembering that feeling of complete and pure safety I had with him.

But I think it was the realisation as I got older to just how serious and how ver very close it was to ending very differently that haunts me.

@Honeyroar

Thank you for your kind words and understanding, I truly appreciate it.

In defence of my siblings and parents I think at the time they were more traumatised by it than I was simply because I was so young I didn't understand the seriousness of it. Then over the years they could gradually forget about it but for me it got more upsetting as I realised the seriousness and f the incident.

A couple of years ago my niece brought it up in a jokey way as something her daddy told her, she didn't know or was told the whole story.

Very calmly I told her the whole story, the seriousness of the incident, the emotions I felt as a child and how it still haunts me today. It was the first time I gave a family the full version and emotional impact of what happened. She went very white and mumbled sorry and didn't know.

I felt a bit bad about telling her, but it most definitely wasn't something I wanted joked about.

@SummerHouse

Thank you for your post and I feel that somehow (even as a stranger) that you understand me that yes it was something I finally wanted to post and get out in the open.

The news this morning triggered my emotions and my rambling post, but I do feel more together now.

I know you mean well in suggesting counselling but I honestly don't believe it would make things better. It all happened a very long time ago, I was very young I did die, and if I talked to someone about it then it would not change what happened.

I was lucky and somehow it feels self indulgent of me when right now in Mexico there are parents grieving and a little four year old boy who saw and felt things a four year old never should.

Thank you for your understanding

@Tommika

Thank you for your post and I'm sorry for your traumatic experience.

I think you are absolutely right that sometimes it is easier to try and forget about these things. For most of the time bringing it up won't change what happened. Unfortunately sad news stories like this poor little boy in Mexico does bring the memories very firmly back.

I couldn't and can still never enter the field at my parents farm where it happened (it's a big field) from the time it happened. My parents and siblings understood this and never made a point of it or mentioned it, everyone simply took a longer detour across other fields when I was present and we needed to go across it.

@1dayatatime
Thanks for your thoughts about me

We have had very different experiences:

I saw and dealt with a situation as an adult, during it I was preoccupied with dealing with it and it was only afterwards that the impact was ‘real’
It happened and it will never be gone, there is no cure for memories

Your situation is and was very different. You were so young, at great personal risk and though without the full comprehension at the time have a greater understanding or what did happen and what could have happened.

Do not feel guilty in anyway for how you feel looking back on your experience against those of the other family and child today. You are empathising with other human beings, and you know too much of the situation that they have recently experienced because you have done yourself

Counselling won’t cure you, but it might help you - it may also rip you apart before you are ‘better’
Your thoughts about the family in Mexico could also act as a form of counselling - they have brought things to the fore that you may have locked away or have not been able to express with those that you have wanted to

Nobody can tell you what the right thing is.
But I can contradict myself and say that locking things away are not the right way. I do this myself, but hopefully I’m doing that to an acceptable degree. I do the man thing and keep it boxed up away, there is a good video by one of the ex police from the Interceptors fly on the wall show
In this he describes his invisible rucksack in which he locks away the bad memories, this is fine until it gets too full and he can’t hold anything else

Warning - may have triggers
The time between about 22:00 and 26:00 can be skipped if preferred to avoid the description of what occurred:

Look after yourself