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'Mothers can't manage two hours' peace' - according to Mumsnetters.

46 replies

Callisto · 19/11/2007 08:28

Article in the Sunday Telegraph yesterday: www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/18/nmums118.xml

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 19/11/2007 11:01

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Nemo2007 · 19/11/2007 11:02

I dont know if I am lucky with my trio but in the house they dont harrass me that much..like at the moment they are playing with toys in front of me, they bring toys over and I play on and off with them.However they are also leaving me in peace while I am on MN. I can get ings done, I do also however not get to go to the loo alone as one of them always follows me up. If I am doing jobs they tend to be around but I dont feel ground down by that.

PeshaCake · 19/11/2007 11:15

"my house is a mess but i am not."

I may have to have that as a fridge magnet MMJ or even framed and hung up on the wall!

Perhaps with a big 'If you dont like it - Fuck Off' underneath!

themildmanneredjanitor · 19/11/2007 11:23

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Peachy · 19/11/2007 11:48

It does vary on your experience- my guessing for example (I think I probably filled in this survey but cant remember) is that a lot of us SN mums did contribute- and our experiences may or may not be average 9how woudl I know LOL?). My eldest doesn't sleep un til 11-ish as I cant allow him upstairs without supervision or he's a risk; my youngest last night screeched for 2 hours because of a routine change I couldn't help. results from poeple like me (not that i am complaining, wouldn't change my DS's for the world) sway these things.

ELF1981 · 19/11/2007 21:50

I fit in full time work, studying, running the house hold, as well as my 2 year old.

People ask me how I manage.

Its bloody soul destroying tbh - I feel bad at everything, not a good enough employee (despite their comments) not a good enough student (despite passing exams) and certainl not a good enough mother (despite the beams she gives me when I pick her up).

Walnutshell · 20/11/2007 08:25

ELF, I expect you are being way too hard on yourself - look at what you are managing as a whole, not the separate parts. Sounds like you are doing a great job tbh.

ELF1981 · 20/11/2007 12:44

I think mothers are easily hard on themselves - either they work and feel guilty about their time split, or they dont work, struggle with an identity and possibly do more than their share at home because their partner has been at work all day.

I dont feel men suffer this way as it is still pretty typical stereotype that men work, iyswim

Sometimes I feel I am SuperWoman, other wise I just want to bury my head!

OrmIrian · 20/11/2007 12:54

Some of the comments on that article are horrible though! Nasty nasty people

2 hours peace would be pushing it I suppose...

OrmIrian · 20/11/2007 12:55

elf - I agree with never feeling you are doing anything right.

burstingbug · 20/11/2007 12:57

If 26% of mum's don't think that their child is eating healthy enough, then why don't they change what they buy and put in the cupboards then?

ELF1981 · 20/11/2007 13:01

I would probably say my DD eats healthily enough - in any given day she has a banana, handful of raisens and a mango, and these add to her fruit and veg portions - including the veg she will have with dinner etc.

what does worry me about her eating is the amount of rubbish that people think it is okay to give her behind my backs (Hello Mum and Dad and the big bag of haribo!)

ELF1981 · 20/11/2007 13:02

And I suppose it is subjective as well - I feel she eats healthily over all, but it could be improved - we eat low fat sausages but that probably is not the best thing. We eat chicken, but it isn't free range etc.

Overall it is healthy but I could still say it could do better iyswim

VeniVidiVickiQV · 20/11/2007 13:11

Loving that slogan TMMJ

Perhaps LL can get that put on some T-shirts or Tote bags????

PeshaCake · 20/11/2007 18:38

BB - I think I put that I dont think my children eat healthily enough. I do my best but I have a baby who breast feeds alot, although this is settling down now he's on solids, I'm struggling with PND and lack of sleep so energy levels are very low and we're desperarely short of money atm, not normally this bad but still generally pretty skint. I do my best to feed them healthily but sometimes I just dont have the time or energy to cook a decent meal so I give them something out the freezer that I can just chuck in the oven. And we cant afford to have as much fresh fruit, veg and meat every day as we probably should.

Oh and we also have the problem of grandparents etc spoiling them with sweets, chocolate, ice cream and constant access to the biscuit jar!

spudz · 21/11/2007 09:43

Guilty?Fearful?Paranoid? If I wasn't before I certainly feel it now. I am the mum with 4 children in the story. I regret ever agreeing to doing the article and wish I had not been so naive in answering questions. To set the record straight (if anyone possibly believes my side of the story) I am a very contented mum, blessed with 4 happy healthy children and a supportive husband. Following a media request I approached the paper wanting to say what a positive experience we had travelling around the world with the children and how lucky we were to spend so much quality time together. (too much of a boring story I guess). It was not my intention to be seen as a whinging SAHM; I just foolishly answered a question about how I coped when the kids were younger. I admitted that I found it tough at times as all mums do but that I was lucky enough to be at home and not having to juggle work as well. I admire women who do. (Clearly too boring a comment for the Telegraph). Things do get easier as the children get older.My husband had hit a low point in his job(no mention), he was getting over his Mum dying and we felt using the inheritance would be a great way to be together and see the world. I have been really upset and offended by some of the comments posted on the Telegraph comment page. I never realized how critical and judgemental people were and quick to assume they know everything about someones situation. Some of you will no doubt have a go at some aspect of what I have written here. I am so sorry If I gave the impression that "a mum's lot is not a happy one" - personally I am at the happiest point in my life. But that makes a boring story doesn't it.

oranges · 21/11/2007 09:47

oh spudz, sorry you got so mauled on the telegraph site. for what it's worth, i thought you came over as great fun and very happy - no one seriously unhappy with their family would want to spend six months travelling in each other's company!
There is a huge amount of vitriol among bloggers (who are mainly men) about women in general, and women who make any mention of the fact that they have interesting/less stressful/more fulfilled lives than them.

oranges · 21/11/2007 09:49

I also think the telegraph tried to glue two stories - about stressed mothers, and about a family off on a round the world trip, together and failed.

kindersurprise · 21/11/2007 10:03

I have just read the story and was shocked at the nasty comments. It is like a convention of the smugsrus company.

Spudz
My first impression was, wow, what a brave thing to do. I am sure that the fabulous experience your children had, and the change of scenery for you and your DH, will benefit your whole family for a very long time. Well done for stepping out of the "rat race" for a while and getting your priorities straight.

You should stay off the Telegraph website, stay here with us. We are much less smug.

Btw, your DCs are gorgeous

Bouncingturtle · 21/11/2007 10:21

Spudz - those nasty posters on the telegraph website were just jealous.
You had a fabulous bonding experience with your family, don't let anyone's nasty comments take that away from you.
No-one ever said a mum's life was an easy one but your kids make it all worthwhile (at least I hope so, unless I'm going to have the spawn of Satan ).
Just totally pisses me off that yet again it has degenerated into one of those pointless WOHM/SAHM arguments again, FGS people GIVE IT A REST!

spudz · 21/11/2007 10:29

Thanks for your kind words ladies(and the delicious muffin). Will now move on,brush myself down and stick to the travel section from now on!

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