Dedicated to those students home from university, bereft of their freedom and independence; teenagers who haven’t been at school for weeks. For those who frankly have no idea where they are right now - the confused, the tired and the well-meaning. I hear you.
- It’s not just handwashing. Share domestic chores with us. If the dishwasher needs emptying, the washing needs hanging out, the table needs setting, there’s a bit of ironing or it’s clearly time to hoover, help us out. Actions really do speak louder than words. We will see it. We will appreciate it.
- Common courtesy. Say hello to us even though your phone might be more interesting – first thing in the morning and last thing at night. We raised you for eighteen years and appear to have lost you entirely to a screen of some sort.
- Nourish yourselves. We’ll provide all the food and we’ll even cook most of the time, because it gives us great joy when you eat a balanced meal. So eat with us. Spend time at the table. Don’t fall in love with junk food. It will ultimately kill you. Truth.
- Get some fresh air. Bedrooms can get very stale. Take a walk. See the real world.
- Work that body. You have the bloom of youth and everything bounces back. It’s harder to maintain as you get older, so put the effort in now. Get some exercise in the way that suits you best. Dancing, running, cycling. It doesn’t matter what. But move. (And while you’re out, we will deal with number 4).
- Tolerance, kindness and a bit of fun. That’s what will get us all through these strange times. You may not share our opinions, choices or preferences but for now you share our house. Respect and tolerate us. Being kind is practically a panacea – there aren’t any situations that won’t benefit from showing kindness. Fun is something we’ve all forgotten about a bit during lockdown – but we can find it again, it’ll just be defined differently for now. Make us laugh with something in your currency. Integrity challenges? Tik Tok?!
- You were little once and we took care of you. Now you’re older, it’s important to take care of yourself. Don’t be lazy about this. Take on the responsibility. You’re centre stage, you have zillions of opportunities and you genuinely will thank us when you get to our age. You’ll find yourself giving your children the same advice in the future. Trust us on this.
- We work hard. You may already know this. Right now, we’re experiencing challenging circumstances, and you’re witnessing this in a very real way. So when we’re tired, when we’re a bit short on attention and when it looks like we don’t care, never forget that we do. And on top of learning how to Zoom, the chores, the domestic jobs, our heads are full of how we can get you through this. How we can take away the fear, and the uncertainty, and the unsettledness, and the restrictions and the misalignment to any sort of life that you knew before. That makes our shoulders droop a bit and we don’t always have the energy that teenagers and young folk have. We are fallible. We are human. Remember that.
- Love. It’s at the heart of everything. It’s what gives us the most joy and the most pain and sometimes it shows itself in strange ways. Control. Frustration. Miscommunication. Because we love you so much, everything is amplified. We worry about your future. At the moment, we worry about the present. The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. If we didn’t care, we wouldn’t worry. See beyond the tense faces and tight voices. Which leads us nicely on…
- Your existence in this world makes us so happy that we can’t explain or articulate it. We often bury this fundamental truth in silly details and distractions, and we let layers build up (of frankly inconsequential things, never mind a global pandemic) that mask it. This is contextual. This is transient. If you’re ever in doubt of this, look back over the photographs and memories we’ve made together. Our world is infinitely and enduringly better with you in it.
So let’s press ‘reset’ on our relationship. Just put your phone down/unplug from Fortnite/leave your fragrant bedroom, and come and hug us. You don’t have to say a word (…and you can let go way before we really want you to).
We love you. And we are all in this together.