Police in Malaysia have found a body in the jungle.

[BenWillbondsPants]

Fuck. I was so hoping this was not going to be the outcome of this.

Just seen on the news that the body has been confirmed to be Nora. I think it's really inappropriate for people on here to speculate on what happened.

It's just so tragic

Hi,

Just posting to ask everyone to bear in mind the sensitivities involved.

We'll be keeping an eye on the thread and will move it to somewhere more appropriate shortly - but please do report anything that you think isn't in the spirit of the site.

It has been confirmed though. Her parents have identified her.

@JinglingHellsBells you are not coming across the way you think you are on this thread.

Evidence? else I'll read that statement as verging on the racist.

Woah what?! It was on BBC/metro/telegraph etc yesterday actually. And it was a shamen yes, working with the police who the ones wo released the video and theory.

Here, before you throw accusations around. metro.co.uk/2019/08/12/malaysian-shaman-called-nora-quoirin-search-says-lured-genie-10558586/

A report in the Metro (of all publications) is not evidence of anything.
It was, as you admit yourself, a shaman who had the theory, not the Malaysian Police, as you originally claimed.

They have confirmed it is her. Poor girl. Where were they? How safe is that area? Are there dangerous animals around, is there an area to fall from? It says that a volunteer searcher found her

JinglingHellsBells Tue 13-Aug-19 11:06:20
@BenWillbondsPants yes, we know hmm
Is there any need to start a thread on it? The family have asked for complete privacy and chatting about it on social media is not going to help anyone. We all feel for them, but it's better to stay off the web to 'chat' about tragic stuff and process it yourself in privacy.

its grief by proxy

Unfortunately when’ a story like this hits the news it is common for people to speculate.

Truth is that it is almost impossible to have a story which is widely discussed while it is ongoing and then halt any and all discussion as soon as something new happens/emerges. Thing is that when the story hit the news there was much speculation on what might have happened to her even from the family. It’s almost impossible to shut that down then
And sadly these cases almost never have a positive outcome.

So why is it @BenWillbondsPants that every thread speculating about what happened to the McCann child gets removed but you think this is one okay?

It's the same thing.
Speculation over a missing child and what can have happened.

Its insensitive and crass.

I'm not out to pick an argument but I am asking what makes you want to discuss a family's grief on a forum.

It's the main news headline across all platforms.

Why you feel the need to start your own MUMSNET NEWSFLASH is incomprehensible.

We don't need to comment on a tragedy.

But I can't ignore people wanting to post about it. If you are so upset, go and find solace in private.

Jingling, can you start your own thread please? People are trying to be respectful on here and you're just attacking everyone which is really inappropriate on a thread like this, as a pp said, I suspect you're not coming across as you think you are.

Hi all,
We at MNHQ encounter strong feelings every time a terrible tragedy such as this hits the news, and truthfully, as we read the reports that are coming in from our members, we can see both sides.
We can see that there are those who find any discussion distasteful, while others feel an instinct to express condolences and personal shock on the boards. It's the same here; some in the office feel one thing, others the other. Universally there is sadness that parents have lost their child.
For those who don't like these threads, then, perhaps the best thing to do is click away from them?
For those who find them helpful, please always try to keep the family is uppermost in your thoughts when posting.
We would enlist your help in reporting anything that appears to be speculating as to what has happened to Nora Quoirin, as we find that to be in extremely poor taste.
Peace to all.

I am just wondering - why is speculating what has happened in poor taste? Surely wondering what has happened is natural. I was on a different forum when a woman disappeared on a Greek island. And people wondered had she fallen of a cliff as the area was so rocky, which is indeed what did happen. I have absolutely no idea how wondering what happened could be in any way offensive. Everyone has said very nice things here.

I had been following the story over here too. I was hoping for a better outcome although statistically the likelihood diminishes with each passing day. I can’t get that appeal by her mother out of my mind. The sheer feeling of being totally helpless and distraught. Such a sad story. I hope her family are being supported by embassy personnel in Malaysia.

I am just wondering - why is speculating what has happened in poor taste? Surely wondering what has happened is natural

I think it's just that when you think of what her family are going through, idle speculation on a public about what happened or may not have happened just seems a bit... Inappropriate I guess. Everyone will have their own armchair theories, but none of that changes the fact that these parents have lost their daughter, so it seems pointless to do it really, especially when I'm sure it will come out what happened anyway.

A few years ago, a relative of mine died in a way that made the news. There were a good few comments underneath FB posts and news stories, with a bit of speculation about what may have happened. It wasn't upsetting because a) I wasn't close to that relative and b) no one was saying anything outright nasty. However, it was incredibly strange to have complete strangers talking about someone you knew like that.

Now, I guess if that was your daughter and she had died in a horrible way and it was a huge news story and strangers were speculating about may have happened to your own precious baby, it would be pretty horrific.

However, I do also agree with you that stories like this do strike a chord and it's only natural to want to know what happened. Its a difficult one really, especially with social media as it is these days.

Thank you @HopeMumsnet.

I think Jingling has a point and aajj is out of order.

I think the difference is the McCanns left three preschoolers alone a long way away every night while Nora was sleeping next door. Completely different scenarios.

McCann threads were allowed to stand when the recent documentary came out. I believe MNHQ only delete posts that are speculating that Madeline's parents were involved in her going missing.

Speculation in cases like these is totally normal, people want to know what has happened so they can avoid it themselves.

@Bluntness100 I have only one aim as to how I 'come across;- whatever you mean by that. And that is to respect the family's privacy and grief and not turn this into a media circus by speculating on what may or may not have happened. we are all sad as this is a tragedy but reducing it to an outpouring on a forum is like voyeurism.

It's in poor taste. Shocked that @HopeMumsnet don't quite see the point.

@jinglinghellsbells. You don't get to run this thread. Accept what mumsnet have said.

For those who don't like these threads, then, perhaps the best thing to do is click away from them?

Yep. Couldn’t agree more.

When a tragic event occurs, it's a natural human reaction to speak about it, to express feelings of sadness and to 'come together', it reminds us that there are good people everywhere in this world and that there is love towards others. You don't have to be a close family member to feel sadness and to want to express that sadness.

I lost a relative and it was in the news. FWIW I found the kindness of strangers and their sympathy comforting. That we had not been forgotten and that so many wished us well meant a lot to us.