Madeleine McCann info shown before Shrek, anyone else cross about this?

[WideWebWitch]

I was. I have chosen NOT to tell my nearly 4yo about this. I haven't discussed it in detail with 9yo ds either I CHOOSE not to put the news on in our house. I really resent this being shoved at my children before a U cert movie. Completely inappropriate imo.

I would not be happy about that trailer being shown if i was there with dd1. (or the others but they don't go yet)
DD1 is 6 and has watched about Madeleine (when i couldn't turn off the T.V in time) and was not only upset but very inquisitive and without getting into the rights or wrongs of the Parents as i don't want that, i found it extremeley difficult to explain this one to her so i blagged it.
I tell her never to go off with strangers and always stick with a group and she knows as much as she needs to but telling her that a little girl was taken from her bed would just scare the life out of her.
I think our children should stay innocnet as long as possible. Innocence is so fleeting, lets let them be children and worry about what they're having for dinner not being abducted

Marina,

"I just think in this case a trailer should not be causing such contraversy, there are so much worse things in the world that are happening and I think that being open minded is good for our children within reason. "

whatsamiss, the trailer causes such feelings in lots of MNers because they had no control over whether their little ones see it before seeing Shrek, there was no warning. I switched off Radio4 the other day after a verbal warning was given about a story (quite a disturbing interview with a woman whose own mother had collaborated with men who sexually abused her), and again avoided the news yesterday because of the reporting of the prison sentence of the man who raped and murdered his 2 year old niece. I often explain "worldly" stories, especially to my 7 year old (perhaps not so much to my 4 yr old) but I filter what I want her to learn about because I am her mother and I want to protect her and let her flourish as she grows. Not scare the hell out of her.

oh, and a little sensitivity towards other MNers wouldn't go amiss: you know little of what other pressures they're under at the moment, so please treat them like you'd like to be treated.

Sorry, that was supposed to read, Marina, hope you're o.k.

WWW, certainly you and enough other posters on this thread feel strongly enough to warrant Odeon putting a health warning on the pre-show ads. I have no problems with that. I applaud you for trying to keep you dcs protected from such news.

I am just saying that it is not really possible to filter news totally. So I just deal with it, in a matter-of-fact way, even when I am caught flatfooted.

I'm not sure it's valid to equate shielding the two younger McCanns from what has happened to their sister and shielding other children.

Although I do shield my child...

whatsamiss

being attacked as a child wasn't your fault, it was wholly the responsibility of the adult who did this terrible thing to you, and no amount of "worldly wise" education could have prevented it, if that's what they were determined to do

you are right Bundle, I wasnt thinking!
There are normally warnings prior to such things and there wasnt one!

I am sorry if I have been insensitive. It is just hard to judge things when one is feeling strongly about something.

Yes it is, meandmyflyingmachine, because it is a parent's decision what their child is told and no one else's.

Then we will have to disagree.

On that.

I agree about the ad. But I don't think there is any hypocrisy involved.

Agree with flyingmachine.

There is a world of difference to a child's perception betwwn something (horrible) that has already happened in their family, to the 0.00001% risk of something that could happen to them because it happened to another family.

Why shouldn't the McCanns be allowed to "shield" the twins? It is absolutely right and their duty. And their right to employ whatever means to find her.

Dont know if this has been posted on this thread already, but there is a article in the sun toady which mentions mumsnet complaining about this.

I don't disagree. But I can understand why the McCann's don't see it that way.

Agree with bundle whatasmiss, it's not your fault if something awful happened to you.

I DO shield both my children from quite a lot actually. We don't have the news on at home and they don't read the papers I buy on Sunday. I think that's ok, it's my choice and it works for us. They watch cbeebies, citv and childrens films.

9yo ds doesn't know what a paedophile is and I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible. Although he knows about strangers and inappropriate behaviour. He does know what a kidnapper is and went through a phase not long ago of being afraid of someone taking him. Children get scared of all sorts of things, I think it's ok if we as parents want to manage their fears, in some cases by shielding them.

I remember as a child reading my mum's Daily Mail and reading about a girl who was kidnapped and buried alive and when found, her fingernails were gone from scraping to try to get out. I was about 10 and really scared by it. (Hell, I still remember it and I'm 40). The Daily Mail is particularly prurient on this kind of stuff but still, I wish it hadn't been in the house for me to read really.

Mrb, I am admiring of parents who try to shield. They are entiltled to. My point is that sooner or later, they will fail (whether because it is madeleine's parents or Odeon or bbc or because dcs are old enough to go on the internet or watch TV). So just have a startegy for explaining to dcs, rather than attacking the media. A bit like raging at windmills IMO.

For everyone wincing - my apologies for the apostrophe...

I've been following this thread and am a little confused about whether everyone is upset about thier children being told about MMc at all via this advert, or just the way it was told with the 'snatched from her bed' lurid language?

Comment was made earlier that Newsround covered this story, but in a senstive way and no one seemed to comoplain about that.

Are most people happy with it being mentioned on children's TV (which they may we watching without you?

Also the ad has been removed from children's films (which I agree with BTW) but will still be shown at 15 and above (I think), do peopel object to the ad being shown at all? Even for adults?

I feel that some of you might, and this is a wider issue then just frightening the children.

I don't mind the ad being shown at other screenings. I'm dubious about whether it will help, but I don't mind it being shown. My ds who is 5 of course knows something about the story (although he's probably forgotten about it now as it has been so long sadly). It is certainly the language that would upset me the most. And him.

Dh is a (Cineworld) cinema manager, and told me that they had so many complaints about this that they agreed only to show the ad before 12, 15 and 18 movies.

He couldn't tell me what proportion of the complainers were mumnsetters, though

I cant believe that any parent would find the need to hide such information from their children! Its ludicrous! STRANGER DANGER IS A REALITY - IT HAPPENS! GET USED TO THE IDEA! Honestly im gobsmacked at having learnt on sky news that their are so many of you who think its ok to let your children believe that life is a bed of roses and everyone is safe and secure in their surroundings! For gods sake - familiar family members have been locked away for abusing the children it doesnt even have to be a stranger!!
I once lost my daughter (then 3and half) in the supermarket, i immediately considered the possibility that she may have been snatched (luckliy she was only hiding under a rail of clothes) but it could happen to any one of us - how would your child react? Would they go off with the stranger? taking his word for it that they were safe? I know that my children would not! I have fully prepared them for the worst and to run and scream and do anything at all to get away from the abductor. They are fully aware of Madeleine McCann and how awful the situation is, yes they are upset, yes they do ask awkward questions that id rather they didnt have to consider at such tender ages of 6 &4, but life is not like that, there are people out there that will take your child away in the blink of an eye!
FOR HEAVENS SAKE EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN DONT HIDE THEM AWAY FROM IT!

But there is nothing a child can do about being "snatched from their bed" is there?

There is no educational value for children in this whatsoever.

ah, you found the thread then.

Maybe you would like to read it?

Grown adults are rubbish at assessing risk. Children are completely hopeless. I don't want any of my children worrying about being snatched from their beds at night. It's totally pointless. They can't protect themselves from that. That's MY job.

My owm position is:

I don't think chidren need to know at all. Ds1 knows a little as he saw her picture and asked why there were pictures of her everywhere. I told him a little girl went missing on holiday and now evertone was looking for her.

I don't think he needs to know anymore.

I've talked about stranger danger with them both (I know not totally relevant)just the always stay with mummy stuff, and have said that sometimes people do try to take children away from their mummies and daddies. I have never suggested they do anything unpleasant with them though.

In fact I think my Ds's have concluded from this that poele would want to take them just because they're such gorgeous boys (as mummy tells them) and so other mummies would love to have them so they could be the luckiest mummy in the world (as I tell them I am.)

the innocence of children is beautiful and short lived.

I wouldn't critise the Mccanns though for thier tactics, but for the grace of god....and if it were me I'd do just what they're doing and anthing else I could think of. I'd spend the rest of my life tearing your houses apart to find her, if I thought it would help, and couldn't care less if it upset you.
I don't blame them at all. I just wish it would actually help.