Bottle feeding mum asked to leave breast feeding cafe

[Dawnybabe]

In my local paper, the Eastern Daily Press, of Norfolk, they ran a story about a mum who had, through a friend, been asked by a member of staff at a PCT run breast feeding cafe not to return because she had bottle fed her four month old son. Please tell me I'm not the only one absolutely incandescant with rage over this? Apparently she had a medical reason for bottle feeding as well. Aren't the staff being as bigoted as the general public who force the need for a breast feeding cafe in the first place? Surely the attitude should be that you are safe to feed there however you like without any prejudice? There is enough pressure and guilt forced on bottle feeding mums as it is without staff who should know better joining in the witch hunt.

Well yes I would feel pretty outraged about a white person being asked to leave an Asian community group.

Don't think the battered wives' analogy is particularly relevant.

so far only read the OP but...

Maybe it has to do with the funding to run the Cafe. The Surestart BF support group in our local Surestart centre cannot have ff mums attending because funding is tied to following the recommendations of the WHO milk substitute code.

what about if she ha been bottle feeding expressed milk. would they have chucked her out then?

they would have been able to tell if it was or not though cos its a diff colour to formula milk.

not the point though. she might have been mixed feeding. or like i had to - reastablishing breast feeding.

kiskidee what if someone goes to the surestart thing that does breastfeed but not 100%? or like me breast fed, didn't get any help so gave up then spent weeks trying to relactate. during this time i still had to give ds top up bottles cos there wasnt enough milk for him. seems stupid to me.

d'yu know. if i was at at a BF Cafe, and struggling and exhausted like i was at 6 weeks, wondering when the hell it was going to be better,

the sight of a woman bottlefeeding at a BF cafe may be the final thing i need to 'comfort' myself.

maybe it is for people like me it is better that ff do not attend bf cafes.

sorry not sure what you mean by this?

"the sight of a woman bottlefeeding at a BF cafe may be the final thing i need to 'comfort' myself."

tbh, i don't know what my surestart would have said to you, nappyaddict, because the, erm, health professionals (HVs)who run our local one are quite lacking in knowledge and at least one is on a power trip.

I would HOPE, however, that they would welcome you and put you in contact with a trained bf counsellor which neither of them are by a long shot. But, to the best of my knowledge, would not do that.

as was said earlier, BF cafes are also for women who are mixed feeding and those who are hoping to relactate. so i think your hypothesis is a non starter, really.

it means I was sorely tempted to FF in those dark days with. I even did the 'formula dance' for a short while. DH was working away and for 10 wks, i had no help with dd and we got off to a truamatic start with bf.

how is it a non-starter? if they just chucked her out when they saw a bottle she probably didn't have time to say well actually i am here for advice on such and such which is why at the moment i am bottlefeeding please don't throw me out.

Sorry if this was done, but I can't see it -- has anyone actually posted this link to the story?

The short-sighted and sad thing is that if this mother, who obviously didn't want to bottle-feed, could spend more time mixing with breastfeeding mothers, she might end up learning how to make breastfeeding a success the next time.

It was a non-starter for me.

they may not have just "chucked her out when they saw a bottle". there are other details which we do not yet know so there is no point me commenting on that. AFAIK, they asked her quietly not to return (not to leave)since she did not fit the criteria as a bf woman.

Maybe she wasn't looking advice on relactation or mixed feeding? Maybe she wasn't yet looking for advice to bf? Maybe the questioned her and found out this info? I don't know. You don't know.

If she complained to the right people, and it seems she may have, they will find out. Maybe if she had returned to the centre and questioned why she wasn't allowed to return as she had the perfect right to. She may have come around to that POV. AFAIK, she may not have done that but gone straight to the media instead. But I don't know that either.

are you talking about the lady this thread was started about or the lady in the link? or are the same lady. i'm confused.

i am only referencing to your post at 18:10:00

what i mean though is would the chuck someone out who is mix feeding?

they

who are the 'they'?

whoever it is running the breastfeeding group.

I feel that if she has been made welcome, the only thng it would have done for her was to make her feel more positive about breast feeding, and make her more likely to try it/continue with it with a subsequent baby.

Once asked not to return, I would think that this woul activly discourage her from trying next time.

Even if this is a support group, with thrown in tea and coffee, are spaces in church halls really so hard to come by? I would have thought it unlikely that there was 'no room in the hall'. If there was only one seat lest, there it should go to a bf mum needing support, but if there was a space, why not be welcoming?

funding or not the baby may be having top up ff! it is outrageous the baby needed feeding she was probably there supporting someone else there was no need for it!
Perhaps they thought she may convert the others!

not being cute, nappyaddict, but i am at a loss at who you are asking me to clarify. i thought this item was about a news report. are you asking me about the hypothetical situation you presented to me? i thought i answered that one already.

This is mad. The group is a health service funded support group for breastfeeding mothers, complete with volunteer breastfeeding support. This is because encouraging breastfeeding is a specific health target because of the benefits to babies all through their lives, which save the NHS money (this is not a value judgment, just a fact - and both my babies had formula) Tea and coffee is provided for those who need the service. Why on earth does everyone seem to think the NHS is just some branch of Starbucks.
As I said, when my ds was little his dyspraxia made him eligible for a special NHS funded babygym at the local leisure centre. Some of the kids had CP, some had Downs, others had brain injuries etc, but all had mobility difficulties. It was considered a health need to give them this service as part of their physio. Every so often a mother would arrive with a toddler and want to join in. She could have had depression, been isolated, all sorts of things, but she would always be told, very politely that this was not for everyone and that she and her toddler could not join in. Nobody ran off to the papers bleating in outrage that the NHS wasn't paying for her kid's babygym, or in this case, her coffee.

I have hardened my views after reading the actual news story, which makes it clear she was not 'thrown out' and that this was, as I thought, a specific, NHS funded breastfeeding support group.

i am not asking you specfically to answer, as obviously you do not attend this breast feeding cafe so do not know the answer. i am just saying would they or perhaps should they chuck out a woman who was bottlefeeding because she mix fed?

But, if you read the article, it says they had dropped in their after a baby massage class - it was a social thing.

She didnt go looking for help or support and was refused. They were after a cheap/free cuppa.

As Psweu has already stated - the funding for such places is limited. Why should women who really need help, support and companionship miss out because folk cant be arsed to go to their local coffee shop? Its not like there aren't enough of them about.

In an ideal world ALL would be welcome. Then again, in an ideal world, everyone would be able to breastfeed with comfort and ease.

Actually, having read the article now it doesn't say that she was chucked out, or asked to leave, or asked not to come back.