Are we wrapping our kids in cotton wool?

[mumof2monsters]

I heard on my local radio station today that in a survey of mothers most of them are reluctant to let their children play outside unsupervised.
I know when I was a child I regularly went out to play for hours before coming home for tea. There were no mobile phones and my parents did not really know exactly where I was or what I was doing.
I used to walk back from a friends house in the dark when I was a teenager and thought nothing of it.
Would I let my DS aged nearly 6 and DD aged nearly 4 play outside unsupervised by an adult? ...probably not. Why are things different today? There must have been sickos around when I was a child back in the 70s. I want my children to have independence and don't want them to feel they have no freedom but not sure i would be comfortable with them playing outside on their own.
What do other mums think?

VSS, of course they are. We have good healthcare, better nutrition, education, no child labour etc. Doesn't change the fact that my kids can't play down the park because it's so skanky.

But are there more cases now mummypenguin or do they just get more attention in our 24hrs new environment.

Would you not have worried at the time of the moors murderers?

i read that statisticallt it isnt any more dangerous these days than when we were kids, its just more widely reported.

When my mum and dad were growing up they were allowed to head off into the fields/park on their own, but on the other hand they were both sent away from home in Birmingham and London when they were 3 what with the bombing.

I expect DH's mum was allowed to play out too. I hope it took her mind off the fact that her mum had been sent away to a sanitarium because of TB.

I think DS isn't doing too badly being a child of the 2000's, even if he does have to play in the garden. I'm not wrapping him in cotton wool - just reacting to the world around me.

Saw this on the BBC news tonight. Of course, the families featured all lived in nice, large houses on leafy streets.

Oh, BAD Mummies, not letting little Johnny out to play!

There aren't any more paedos or murderers out there than there were 30 years ago!

Nah, just gangs of roving drunken teens, prostitutes working hte park surrounded by £500m homes, syringes and broken glass in the park, dog shit all over the pavement - when you can walk on it and it's not torn up or blocked off for road works, etc.

I'd guestimate for that at least 50% of the population in this country, this isn't news, it's filler, because it's a non-issue for a lot of people due to living conditions - either the area they live in is dire, their accommodation is in a highly urban area, or they're not home before dark most of the year for working their arses off just to get by.

Agree with your post expat

well put expat you should be writing the news not the bunch of editors choosing angles and storylines we had on tonight

ds watched this on news this morning with me and said:'' i'd love to go to the park by myself.''
''And you may'' I said. ''oh, except for thefact our nearest park is 2 miles away....because the farking council have sold off all available spare land for housing and won't let any new parks be created on H and S grounds within 50 ft of domestic properties etc etc.

when we lived in the UK on a council estate, my children werent allowed out to play.

at the moment, we live in Germany. Our house is part of a development build around a central shared garden. All the hcildren play in this garden, which is overlooked by all the houses and flats.

Just behind our development is a river, and I let my 2 elder children swim here, unsupervised. It is overlooked by several houses, has houses on both sides, and the path along the river is frequently used.

My 9 and 10 year olds also walk around the town on their own, this is normal in Germany. I am strict that they should never go out of sight into someones house, even if they know the person, without telling me first, and never loiter, but always go straight to where they are going.

I feel very fortunate to be able allow my children this much freedom.

Oh yes, I would have been worried at the time of the moors murders too. I think it is the case that publicity and media attention surrounding the cases we hear so much about, makes us parents worried for our children's safety. However, I would prefer to know what's going on. The many cases that aren't reported makes me think well just how often are these horrible things happening? How scared do we really need to be?

I have an 11 yr old DD who in the last few months has just started doing short trips by herself, say from her music teacher's house to home, really not far, and busy residential/shop area, so not secluded. I hate it though when she does these little jaunts on her own, and am really starting to dread her move to secondary school in September when she'll be getting a bus (albeit school bus) there and back on her own. Sometimes she may have to get a public bus if she wants to do an after school club or whatever. Eeeek! Luckily, the secondary school is not too far from home and her route is fairly busy with lots of people and shops and houses around. I'll still worry though.

My teenagers have often been out after dark in London, getting trains and buses back unaided, usually with friends but sometimes alone and they have friends who then were not allowed to do that. We live on a safe road and the 8 year olds play out every day or disappear into their friend's house.

BUT this week in the wood across from our house a body was found of a young lady... that's rather close to home. Despite that I was still happy they were out again yesterday. I can usually actually hear their voices and we do go out fairly often to make sure they're around and the frequently come back in when needing food and water so it's not quite as much out and playing out as we did as children where we went longer distances to the park although we were slightly older.

The instances I remember of my teenagers are particularly call from one daughter age 15 or 16... "I am on the North Circular, where am I? I am surrounded by Orthodox Jews" (It was Saturday morning.. that made me feel happier)... but it was the mobile that made that easier so I could direct her from her friend's house to the tube station and then same daughter again age 18 or 19 ... I had had the best 2 days of my life. I went to the private villa of [ XYZ pop band], we discussed economics (laughing as I type this), my friends don't know where I am (worst bit of it of all for me - how can you just go and not tell your friends- stupid), I have 1 euro and can't afford the bus. (She was in a call box). A nice Spaniard in the end gave her a lift. Another time... "we are on the motor way. The horse has got out on the road.".... Surprising they survive to adulthood sometimes but I think their experiences on their own and learning to manage and cope are very valuable to them. In a sense putting them at risk and allowing them to take risks is a gift you can give them.

I have 2 SD who are 9 and 11, they live with their mother and partner 30 miles from us. When the 9 year old has a club after school the 11 year old waits in the park across from the school. Sometimes she is with friends other times she is not. DH and I feel a little worried that she is wandering about over there on her own. I have not said anything to the ex-wife as that is up to DH really but not sure I would feel happy about my DS and DD who are younger being in a park on their own. Although SD has promised that in the winter when it is dark she will wait for her sister in the school.
It is hard because you want them to have freedom and independence but you never know who is out there.

Yes we are wrapping them in cotton wool.
The world may not be any less safer than it was 30 years ago, but it FEELS less safe.
So what do we do ?
Dh and I went out for 7 hours at a time in the summer hols.
I want to be able to allow ds to do that, when he is older (being only 3.4 now). But I can't seem to bring myself to. That makes me really sad.

Then over come your anxieties and let them out. Also today it's easier. You could chip them. You could send them out with mobiles. In their mid teens our girls used to get to their riding stables at about 9am after very early church service - never known any other teenagers get up at 7.30am to go to church but that's horses for you... anyway then they'd stay there, be out in woods, on hacks, with their friends, with people I never met or knew and we'd collect them later. I was pleased they had that experience and I think they benefited from it more than their brothers teen years which were basically here.

I totally agree that are areas that I wouldn't allow my children to play unsupervised. But what I find strange is that often it's the families that live in leafy suburbs that are the least likely to let their kids play out. There's an housing estate in this town - ex-housing association - in the 'posh' bit of town. Wide roads, trees, areas of green space. But you never see kids out.

mentaldruggie

god forbid you ever get depressed and have to take medication

i'm sorry, ignore that! I didn't mean it entirely seriously, but I read it today and though ''feck, I was in an arsey mood last night!''