Childrens Soc study, modern children don't have enough freedom

[Blandmum]

Results of the study out today confirm what we were talking about not that long ao. That children don't have enough freedom and that this is preventing them learning independence, making friends and learning how to deal with otheras in a wide range of situations.

I now feel better about letting my two (10 and 7) play 'out' with their mates as of the last few weeks!

It is definitely harder to test that your instincts are reasonable. I know that you can't just apply the standards of 30 years ago, but trying to find an appropriate path between neglect and smothering can be a bit of a minefield at times.

I don't know. The report says that a higher percentage of children are reporting not having a best friend and that children aren't being given the opportunities to foster their freindships. It's a big leap to blame it solely on 'overprotective parenting'

They surveyed just over a thousand people and the highest proportion of those saying that 14 is the minimal age to let children out unsupervised were aged over 60 - so not actually parents of the children today.

There are other factors which may mean children have less chance to foster their friendships. Children having 'choice' over schools means they might not live in the same area as their friends. Parnets working full time 5 days per week mean the children might be in some kind of child care setting where they don't get to spend time with their regular friends. Children's time might be filled up with more home-work and outside school clubs which means they have less time to spend with regular friends.

And this report comes not many months after a report said British children spent less time with their families than other European children and that was cited as a big problem.

Morning - just wondered what others thought of this story and whether we over-supervise our children? Have been asked to go on radio Belfast to discuss this am?

Was this on the news last night? With some maps showing how the unsupervised range of an eight year old had shrunk since the '70s?

My children only ever leave me on rare occasions. But I'm guessing they're below the sort of age this is talking about anyway. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it..

Yeah, NKF, DH was telling me about it, down from something like 800m in the 70s to 10m (the garden fence today). DD is only 3, so not an issue yet, but I would like her to be walking to school on her own by eight - I was, and we have about the safest route to school imaginable. But it's dependent on the lollipop lady, and DH tells me she may be under threat. If she goes, there'll be a crossing to replace her, but a person who can keep and eye on kids and make sure they really don't cross is very different to a set of lights that a child can ignore if they think it's safe to cross anyway. If they do this, BECAUSE there are few children walking unaccompanied, they're liable to put off the few remaining children who do walk on their own (or rather the parents who let them). It all accumulates - lots of parents driving their kids to school, so the roads are busy, so even the ones close to school accompany their kids at an older age than when I was a young child (70s), so they don't need a lollipop lady, which puts off the last few lone walking kids ... plus a lot of the children aren't as local as they might once have been, so there aren't the really local friends for kids to go out and play with, so they're bundled into cars for playdates, and just watched over.

I suppose in order to answer whether or not we have become unecessarily overprotective, we'd need to start by assessing if street dangers have increased. My impression is that there are more cars on the road than in my childhood and that it's harder to ride a bike and stay close to the kerb because of parked cars. And harder to see round corners because of parked cars. I think that's backed up by statistics on car ownership.

On the other hand I live in a neighbourhood where no child on a bike is ever seen without a hard hat. Even toddlers on bikes with stabilisers, cycling around a park wear them. do wonder if that's a littel over teh top. But you get used to certain levels of protectiveness and it becomes the norma and you have to think hard about what actually makes sense.

Sorry a bit long and rambly. My eldest is reaching the age of wanting more independence so I think about these sort of issues a lot these days.

I walked to school from a very young age. I walked to school with a friend when I was 5 and on my own when I was 6. Plus I would come home from school for lunch and then walk back again.

I have recently travelled along the road where my Primary school was and the road is very dangerous despite being in a quiet village. There are cars parked all along one side and cars struggling to park and pass the parked cars. I would not let a 6 year old walk alone along that route to school now.

I have a 1 and 4 year old so haven't had to think about letting them play outside but when I do, traffic will be my biggest concern.

This was being discussed on Today on R4 this morning. Esther Rantzen and Ann Atkins. I normally struggle to like Ann Atkins but she made sense to me this morning. Stats show that a tiny proportion on kids are assualted outside of the home. The main threat is from traffic - mostly from travelling in cars as opposed to being hit by a mad driver on a ped crossing.

Re walking to school, my eldest (10) walked to school this morning. My DD is ill and I didn't want to make her get up to come with us. I could have asked a neighbour to take him along with her DS but he wanted to go alone. And I think it's important to let him know that I trust him and his abilities.

NFK, I stopped being blase about cycle hats after talking to a good friend who works in A&E

But agree, there is more traffic now, and absolutely that's my concern, not 'stranger danger'. Ds1 is 10, and desperate to go out alone, or to walk to a friend's house, as I was at that age, but it's so hard to find a safe route anywhere round here.

I'll be honest, it wouldn't be stranger danger or traffic foremost in my mind. It would probably be the gangs of much older kids who seem to congregate in playgrounds that are set up for much younger children.

I'm just outside belfast, must listen to the radio have I missed it yet???

I am full of fear for my children but I do let my 4 year old play out in front of the house. It's a worry but I want her to be able to play with the other children outside.

Well, I wouldn't say that I'm blase about cycle hats. But I'm not sure about toddlers on tricycles needing them. And knee pads and elbow pads. Are they necessary? I know they are on skatebarods and ice skating. Actually, I don't know.

I do remember one thing from my childhood - children did seem to break more bones than they do now. Collar bones and wrists and their legs. There was always a child whose plastered leg you could sign.

I think it's something that's very hard for individual families to do much about. We need society to change, so more children are playing out and more adults are prepared to intervene if they are hurt or getting into trouble.

There's safety in numbers - when I was little, we played out in groups, there were always lots of other children around and adults who would help if we needed or tell us off if appropriate. And there were park keepers and so on - just more figures of authority around to rely on.

I was walking to school on my own at age five but we lived in a village where I a. didn't need to cross the main road and b. knew everyone whose house I passed and could have asked anyone to help in an emergency. When we moved into a city, my younger sister certainly wasn't walking on her own at that age due to busy main roads and lots of strangers. Think she was about 10 when she started going on her own, and we'd moved into a very small town by then.

DS (3.6) just got a bike. Has a cycle helmet. Day one: careered down a very gentle slope (can't use brakes yet!), fell off, and hit his head against neighbour's stone flower trough. V grateful to helmet tbh.

(And when I went through a phase of skipping school aged 10, grown-ups would ask me what I was doing out of school - ended up going back home as soon as the au pair was out of the way!)

I think we do over supervise them

oddly enough i live in a small town of 2500 where there appears to be a dis proportionate number of families with 4 5 and 6 children

I notice down at the lido that the parents of larger families let the children go unsupervised - MUCH- younger than smaller

I think if we were all to have larger familes - as was once the way

1. we would be more relaxed 2 we would learn from the older children how not to be over protective of younger

25,000

14!

Jesus, Mine are going out to play when they are 9 or 10! 14, for Christ sake.

yes mine are colditz....

Now, we live in a village in one of the safest countries in the world, and all the children here have so much freedom that they must be a good yardstick. And I can tell you from 6 years of observation that this "freedom" is abused desperately when not accompanied by strict parental control and supervision. For example, yes, they spend their days outside, but we must go out frequently to see what they're all doing. They go to friends' houses on their own, on foot or by bike, but because of other parents who do not get this supervision thing, you can never be sure what they're getting up to. Unsupervised play basically means that bullies can get away with anything- this also goes for the way to school and kindergarten, because they all walk without parents from the age of 4. It is not all it's cracked up to be.

I let my two 7 and 4 walk through the village on their own to go and see the ponies, give them a carrot and come straight back.

I must say it makes me nervous but there you go

(its Enid btw)

'freedom' is often actually harder for me particularly with one of my boys. I have to drill what he is doing for the day - sergeant major style - before he leaves the house and keep making him - check in

getting better - slightly

a lot of ten year olds have no road sense these days - never made to learn it - whats the need when mums and dads are there 24/7