OMG. Anybody just seen GMTV? 3 yr old girl abducted on holiday on the Algarve.

[tiredemma]

kate said reports just in, cant find anything on bbc.

bloody awful.

Mumpbump - we've already addressed that issue. There's no point coming onto a thread like this if you are going to tut tut the parents. Those comments don't help anybody so why make them?

I have a little girl this age.

Watch her like a hawk.

She's very tall and comely and so sticks out.

I haven't had time to read the whole thread and didn't mean to sound abrupt, but dh and I regularly debate whether we can leave his children (13 and 9) at home even for 15 minutes and have always so far concluded that we can't because the risk of a fire or something. I'm not tut-tutting, I am just gob-smacked! And it must make them feel even worse about an awful situation.

Sorry to repeat myself but....

"Has anyone ever left their children in the garden playing whilst they were in the house? Good grief someone could have snatched your child from over the fence!

Or perhaps your child has slept in a tent in the garden - how irresponsible! Or in a crowded playground whilst you chatted with other mothers?

Oh how easy it is to point the finger whilst smugly smothering your own children.

I have left my children asleep in a hotel room with a baby alarm whilst me and dh have had a drink in the bar. It's a risk you take but the chances of them being abducted are slimmer than them being run over whilst holding your hand on a pedestrian crossing.

A paedo who had abducted and killed a girl was once asked if there was anything the mother could have done to have prevented him kidnapping the girl (from a busy fairground whilst the mother was distracted), he replied, maybe if the girl had been strapped to her mother, but then again he mused, he would have probably just killed the mother too.

We don't know what went on here. But I suggest all the smugger than thous take a hike and hope to goodness that nothing happens to their precious charges one day that will make them rethink their judgementalist attitudes.

And I'm sure we all sincerely hope that this girl is found safe and sound. The parents must be going through hell, without the added insult of being judged on their parenting skills."

And now let's all concentrate our efforts in praying for the little girls safe return shall we?

I shall repeat myself to anyone else who thinks they are qualified to start stoning these poor anguished parents.

Didn't notice from the article that they had a baby alarm/monitor with them, but perhaps I read it too quickly...

Yes Fio and as I said earlier, even if she was out on the lash she must be going through hell. Time for compassion not judgements.

Why can't we learn from previous threads? Lay off these people.

To be fair i wouldn't doubt anybody isn't 100% compassionate on here to the family and all hope to god she is found safe and well. These situations will always bring uo the what ifs and obviously hindsight is a great thing.

I did say I didn't mean to sound abrupt, but I am still gob-smacked. As I previously said, I imagine it must make what is a terrible situation even worse for them because if they don't find her, they will always feel that they should have been able to prevent it and that is a life sentence I would not wish on anyone...

Well said Rhubarb.

I hope with all my might that she is found very very soon, safe and well.

And for the record, Rhubarb - I think it's a bit hypocritical to say the least of you to tell me off for being judgmental whilst referring to my parenting skills as being the equivalent of "smugly smothering". Aren't you sitting in judgment on parents like me?

Not really a time to pass judgement They must be going through hell we have all been through the 'what ifs'in situations much less serious than this.

I don't think smugly smothering was directed at you Mumpbump. That post was written a while back and repeated.

i hope this little girl is found safe and well.
Puts all the fights on mumsnet into perspective dosen't it ?

Jesus, how can you say it is "unacceptable" to leave a child alone in a hotel room? That is why people go on Mark Warner holidays, precisely because that is the service MW offer. So should we prosecute the firm for encouraging parents to be unacceptable?

Of course, you could leave your child alone in their bedroom and someone could break in and kidnap them, or they could go wandering. And self-righteous uncompassionate people would doubtless find a way to blame you.

According to ITN, the hotel had baby listening facilities but the parents chose not to make use of them. I find this strange tbh. It?s one thing to leave your child asleep in a hotel room while you have a meal a couple of hundred yards away, if you have a baby monitor or child listening facility so that you know that if any of the children wake up you can attend to them immediately, but why would you put your children to sleep in a hotel room and go for a meal with no means of knowing if they had woken up or not?

Aside from the worry of them being abducted, which is, quite frankly, something which is highly unlikely, there is the greater likelihood of one of them waking up and crying, and if you were that far away you just wouldn?t know that your child was crying until you went to check on them half an hour later.

I don?t necessarily think this is about casting judgement, but when a child goes missing and it transpires that that child had been left unsupervised in a hotelroom with the ability to get out and the parents were not listening out to make sure that everything was ok, then it automatically follows that people will ask why a parent would do that.

You cannot compare that to letting a child play out in your garden, or a child slipping away in a public place. That?s the sort of thing that can happen in a split second and is something over which a parent generally has no control. And someone breaking into your house while your child is asleep is very different to someone breaking into a hotelroom while you?re not even there.

Mw offer the service but the parents had chosen not to use it, so yes, leaving a child alone in a hotel room without the ability to know that that child is ok is unacceptable. But the parents will most likely have to live with that decision for the rest of their lives, and I have no doubt that the question of whether children should be left in hotelrooms will be asked many a time after this case has been resolved.

Everything you say may well be true, but IMO now is not the time for such debates.

Not sure which channel but it was reported MW had a babysitting service where you drop children off in night clothes etc to be watched so not a listening service. The family however had not used the service. The children were probably really good sleepers and this service didn't suit them. Then this happens - christ . I hope there's some good new soon .

I can't imagine the gut-wrench they must have felt when they looked in and saw she wasn't there
When we all put our little ones to bed tonight we should say a positive prayer for Madeleine and count our blessings.

a parent's worst nightmare. I just hope somehow she is ok.

Been out for a few hours-no sign of her being found "asleep behind a bush" then?

I completely agree with NoddyHolder's post;

"Not really a time to pass judgement They must be going through hell we have all been through the 'what ifs'in situations much less serious than this."

And also DeviousDaffoldil's post:

"Maybe we should wait for the full facts before we start judging."

I hope there is a positive outcome to this dreadful situation very soon.

Why post a thread if you don't want it to be debated? Or why not title it "3 year old lost in Algarve - sympathy only please" if you want to limit the scope of the discussion you're inviting?

I think it goes without saying that everyone hopes the little girl turns up safely and unharmed...

that is a perennial q on sad threads
it is a terrible storya dn one we all fel could haev been us
lets just htink hopeful htoughts.