OMG. Anybody just seen GMTV? 3 yr old girl abducted on holiday on the Algarve.

[tiredemma]

kate said reports just in, cant find anything on bbc.

bloody awful.

New thread for discussing latest developments NOT judging the parents here

I am sorry a lot of you feel upset at the thought of discussing child supervision.

As an analogy, if a person was knocked over on a busy road, and was in hospital, would you all insist that no-one talk about making the road safer until such time as the person was well again, for fear up upsetting their family. Whilst in the meantime other accidents could occur.

This thread is entitled "Anybody just seen GMTV? 3 yr old girl abducted on holiday on the Algarve", which I assume was meant to invite comment. There is absolutely no point in opening a thread so that 200 identical posts can be made.

I can assure everyone that I, and any anybody with similar thoughts, hopes as much as anyone that this story has a happy ending, but it achieves nothing to bury your head in the sand.

Perhaps a new thread should be opened discussing child supervision, where anyone wishing to come out from under their wet blankets can join in.

i just mentioned that as other posters had mentioned it could be someone they knew and a ransom as the police said it was a kidnap, have a suspect and believe she is in the area which i sincerely hope it is and nothing worse and hope she is reunited with her parents -

oh, and by the way my children are sitting in the other room, watching makkapakka.
the back door is open
i can't see them

if they are abducted am i somehow to blame?

zorbado, absolutely agree

oops, missed your g

But now is not the time for discussing it, why can you not see that, you are being so disrespectful.

Zorbadog - nobody feels upset in principle discussing child safety - stick around and you willll see that many threads every day do just that. But it is clear that freinds and family of the poor child will probably read MN - because it was linked in the major press. And speaking from recent too-painful experience, a MN poster below has pointed out that the last thing a parent in extreme distress needs is people saying 'I would have done this'.

No-one on Mn is afraid of debate or strong views - but we also take seriously the role of supporting people in v difficult circumstances.

That's all people are trying to say.

Blu

I really appreciate your comment.

Unfortunately I think this question will be asked a lot in the newspapers over the coming days.

I also agree Zorba. I don't feel I'm JUDGING by stating that I wouldn't have done it. I was in the same circumsatnces last year and I didn't. If a thread like this causes others to QUESTION whether or not they would in those circumstances, leave their children unattended, surely that can only be good. We all learn from our own mistakes and those of others. It's not nice but it's real life.

agree with Blu.
At the moment this is not about the bigger picture.
This is about one family in dreadful distress.

This story is just terrible and has sent me cold. The parents must be in absolute agony and I am hoping that there will be some positive news very very soon.

However, I do believe that it seems entirely appropriate to be discussing child supervision in light of the events occuring in Portugal.

We went to my Brother in laws wedding. Husband had returned from 6 months in Iraq on the thursday and this was the saturday. My little girl was 8 months - so for 6 months it had been just her and me and I had never been apart from her. My husband was best man. When I would not leave my little girl in the hotel room next to the reception room (alone in a pram) to sit on the top table I was told to sit at the back so we would not 'spoil the photos'. This after my DD had had her own invitation! Then in the evening the hotel banned children from 7 pm. Again I would not leave her alone in the hotel bedroom (3 floors away this time)so off I went. My MIL still says I deliberately tried to ruin my BIL's wedding by being so unreasonable and we have not spoken since. So sometimes you can try and do the right thing and get blamed for the wrong reasons.

yes yes yes CD, agree

In this case the parents did what they did...there is no going back on that, I have no doubt they will tear themselves apart asking questions of themselves, and that thier twins will nnow be watched closer than the children of any other parent on this site.

But if anyone is going to take their child on the road in a car today....remember that the risk of them being killed is vastly greater than the risk of them being abducted by a stranger in the coming year - whether you are watching them or not.

Cupcakes

Apologies for going off thread, but the bigger picture has to be looked at.

What about the distress of thousands of families in Darfur. Only by discussion can not only there be any possibility of perhaps making things better for those involved, but to ensure that events aren't repeated in the future.

I assume that the people objecting to posters being "judgemental" really mean "critical". We all make judgements every day of our lives don't we? We decide what we think is good, bad, entertaining, wise, silly, safe, unsafe etc. That really isn't the same thing as being critical.

but I can't see how all you lot saying 'oooh I'd never leave my child like that' actually influences anyone or changes their mind about what they would do. Surely they can come to that conclusion themselves either by being influenced by the story itself or by deciding they are still happy with that level of risk?

well i am frustrated by the general lack of interest in Darfur both here and elsewhere, but hardly think it is relevant to this thread and whst this poor family are currently living through.

FYI.

There are 2 definitions of judgmental:

1. Of, relating to, or dependent on judgment: e.g. a judgmental error / error of judgment.
2. Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones, e.g. a marriage counselor who tries not to be judgmental.

I think the second meaning is implied here. You defined according to the first.

I honestly don't know if I would or wouldn't have done the same as the parents given those specific circumstances.

What I do know is that I would never even consider it now in light of what has happened and I think it is a valid discussion to be having.

Some people would leave their kids asleep in their room while having dinner on holiday.
Some people wouldn't.
There.We have had this discussion on here a hundred times and those are the outcomes every time so ne need to keep rehashing it ad infinitum whilst these poor people wait for news of their daughter

I think neither of those descriptions means the same as "critical."

We make the second kind of judgement every day. All the time. Personal and moral decisions.

Maybe posters don't mean "critical". Maybe they do mean "judgemental". Not sure.

Yeah, but were all full of sh*t, aren't we Connie?

Good point Blu

When kids get killed in car accidents, no-one says "the parents shouldn't have taken them in the car."

And yet the chances of that happening, are much, much higher than what has happened to this poor family