Wife swap

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Great line, 'Ooh hundreds of books, they must be realy boring'

She'd hate my house then

I feel quite irrationally cross about C4 not telling us that Anne had breast cancer - it puts a totally different spin on all those lists and plans and doing so much together as a family.

was that girl actually christened Levi? Was the boys name Lee and Wrangler? I only caught snatches of the programme but that stuff about him having a beard and how that was automatically embarassing was very funny and the recorder group too. I don't see enough to make proper judgments though.

She was obsessed by his age too as if you relaly should have kids after 30 or something. She reminds me of the young mothers they always use to wheel out on kilroy who said no one should have children when older cos you couldn't play with them, be their best friend,you'd embarrass them and you couldnt go clubbing with them!'

And both she and her husband put so much emphasis on how people looked, how they dressed etc.

I still can't quite believe that people don't want their kids to do better than they have, in any way. None of the kids had any hobbies that you could see, just playing with their mates. It needn't be something highbrow, just any sort of hobby seems to make a kid thrive as an individual.

How dare that woman box up the books, ignorant bloody cow, I'd swing for someone that tried to manipulate that change, she had no clue what they were or the role they play in that families life...
GRRRR

I've obviously been spending far too long on MN because as soon as Levi started going on about her attitude to school my first thought was "I'd like to see her dare say all that to hmb!!"

I didn't understand the book thing. How could she be so upset by books??? and how could she think that people who read a lot were 'boring'? Showing my prejudices here I could'n cope if someone took away our books.

Loved the comment about not needing to learn French because 'You only go to France on a Booze Cruise and everyone speeks English'.

I must say that this is the one Wife Swap where I am most like on of the protagonists....no-where near as organised tho, and my kids get more freedom

Coppertop, 'Your my mate you are!' grin]

TBH I thought all of the school stuff was so sad! If the kids get qualification they get more choices. If they dodn't want to use the qualifications later, fine, but at least they have the choice. I see the hard work that peole have to make in Adult Ed, it is so much harder for them to do a days work, be with the kids and then listen to me for 2 hours!

I must be spending to much time on mumsnet, cause I chuckled to myself when intellectual Mum said we don't wear clothes which need ironing, and other Mum said, 'what clothes don't need ironing? Polyester slimmer pants from catalogue' LOL

I'm off to add that line to the ironing thread!

I found 'intellectual dad' almost creepy in the way he felt the need to control everything. I must admit to sniggering a bit when he said that the children spending time on their own would mean "disintegration". FFS!

I also wouldn't fancy the idea of keeping rats in the kitchen. I wouldn't banish them to the garage but I don't think the kitchen is exactly an ideal place to put them.

Just found this on the Channel 4 website, posed on the discussion board, from Ann. Thought it was very interesting

'You see me in the film saying the ONLY bad thing I said to him ie that he was not a real man in my estimation (did you hear the things I listed that a 'real man' could do? Doug has a list of what he feels a 'real man' ought to be able to do, including 'French braid his daughter's hair' 'Negotiate a contract' 'Read at least twelve books a year' 'cook a three course meal and bring everything to the table on time' 'Build something using his own tools', which is why I used the term 'a real man' On the other hand, John's comments about my size shape, weight, age and so on and so on (he said to his friends that I was 'No Fanny Cradock BEFORE I'd even cooked the family a meal!!! and his personal comments were cruel. I'm over ten years older than he is, and have had four lots of chemotherapy and two lots of radiotherapy... I think I look like what I am: a middle aged teacher with a friendly face and nature!

I tried everything: I went to golf with him, I hung out with his mates, I took him fencing (another lost episode!) and throughout it all he was scathing and unfriendly.

On my first night, he suddenly announced that in the morning, at 5.30am I would be going to Leeds (with the crew, of course) to run a car boot sale at the largest site in the country. I had never done this before, but knew it required that you know what you are doing and keep your wits about you. He did not come with me. (Only sweet, lovely Poppy did so.) on my return, exhausted at about 1pm I discovered that he had seven friends round for a barbecue and expected me to cater for them, in a kitchen I'd first entered the day before, round which I'd never been shown properly, and in which most of the fittings didn't work or were hanging off the wall or ceiling by wires. He had not been out to buy food - I simply had to make do. It was an unfair act, by a man I really have very little respect for.

There was no door on the bathroom, and it was embarrassing if you wanted a leak, and I tried to get him to either fix it, or have it fixed. I DID rehang Levi's door (in the video if you are watching you see me do this) but I couldn't fix the bathroom myself. He finally got it fixed late in the week: by asking a friend who I'm sure would have done it earlier in teh week, if it hadn't suited John to make life as excruciating as possible for his guest.

He would throw clothes down the stairs and say 'Iron this, will ya?' Thus treating me and speaking to me as he would to Donna - and yet he didn't like it when I wholeheartedly took on the role of 'mother' and tried to do what the program's 'recipe' says you do.

BTW: little Billy called me 'Mommy' all week: knowing I WASN'T his mommy, but playing the Wife Swap 'game' to the full!

Oh I could go on and on... but it just makes me feel like I did then! Which was awful! I wouldn't swap with Donna, really I wouldn't. Every time I see a dishrag I feel sorry for her.'

she is sounded better then she was portrayed

was it me or did i see levi drinking beer on more than one occasion?

This from Ann on the topic of alcohol
'Both Levi and twelve year old Poppy drink beer. Getting them not to without coming under pretty brisk fire was one of my main occupations during the week. The fact that these children are sometimes out in the street intoxicated worried me immensely. It's too late once something awful happens, isn't it!!!

John and Donna don't want them to drink, but they've left themselves with no real influence over where their children are or what they're doing. '

Interesting

Doug has a list of what he feels a 'real man' ought to be able to do, including 'French braid his daughter's hair' 'Negotiate a contract' 'Read at least twelve books a year' 'cook a three course meal and bring everything to the table on time' 'Build something using his own tools', which is why I used the term 'a real man'

Not much about love and compassion and spending quality time with the family in their opinion of a real man. DP is a real man and could probably not build something, probably is pushed to read 12 books a year (although has a degree in the history of art so not a dimbo) and most certainly could no cook a 3 course meal and make sure it was all on the table hot and on time!

Its funny but I think the other step-dad on wife swap was a bit of a controlling nutter too - and Doug looked like he had absolutely no idea how to interact with anyone - Mrs Jo Ordianry or his step children - Mr Levi might have been a tosser but he was at least an amiable one whereas Doug was rude, patronising and condescending!

The Levi family were using mum as a slave and making her life a misery but to all intents and purposes to me the 'intellectuals' were using their children in the same sort of way - I felt incredibly sorry for both sets of children really.

Yet again I think they were both as bad as each other and I really don;t think that the lady having cancer would have changed my mind at all - those kids had been brought up like that from day one - it wasn't a recent thing!

It is interesting, on the Wife swap discussion board Ann has posted several times. She pointed out that a lot of editing goes on. She said that her kids are allowed to go to the park and do so. She also said that they only do the 3 hours housework if they are not doing something else. And the girls trendy trousers were bought some weeks earier by her Mum, from Camden market!

So not quite the same thing imho