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Original poster

Woman in the paper who leaves her 4 young kids all week

29 replies

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 15/04/2007 22:20

while she works away from home. And normally I'd think fair enough, role reversal, etc - no reason why hubby can't look after them. But her hubby is the other side of the world working.

So she writes this article going on about her style of "parenting" is the way forward. She has triplets who are 23months and a toddler - leaves them with a nanny and sees them on a Sunday and Monday.

She does say that they don't seem to regard her as their mother, but think the nanny is their mum instead. No shit! Must admit I was a bit

I just couldn't do it, sorry. No job is that important. What are those poor kids going to think when they grow up?

Am I very old fashioned?

OP posts:
Twiglett · 15/04/2007 22:21
edam · 15/04/2007 22:23

If I had triplets and a toddler, I'd be bloody tempted to find a nanny who could look after them most of the time!

Seriously, sounds like a very odd family. But then there are lots of people who send very small children away to boarding school... maybe she's preparing them for boarding at age 5?

charliecat · 15/04/2007 22:23

If i had triplets and a toddler id go to work too..............

badelaide · 15/04/2007 22:24

Phew...thought you meant she leaves them on their own!

expatinscotland · 15/04/2007 22:25

To each his own.

Ethel Kennedy had 11 children and only saw them at lunchtime, when they sat round the table with her at the head.

Sure, a lot her kids wound up fucked up, but after spending today with DD2 acting like hell on wheels, I can sort of see this point of view .

Original poster
StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 15/04/2007 22:27

Well obviously they're safe and looked after.

She says something along the lines of "we're not like chavvy famalies who go to Spain for a week and leave the kids behind"

Wasn't sure whether she meant chavvy famalies who leave the kids with noone looking after them or a chavvy family like me where me and dh went to Barcelona and left dd with Grandparents

Personally I think my dd will get over that week of been left a dam site quicker than her kids will.

OP posts:
Original poster
StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 15/04/2007 22:28

families even. Duh!

OP posts:
chirpygirl · 15/04/2007 22:28

Just to play devil's advocate, they may need the money with 3 at the same age....but then they pay a nanny...hmm...starting to doubt my own argument there

charliecat · 15/04/2007 22:31

Would it be better that she stayed at home with them bored out of her tits and sat on MN all day

Original poster
StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 15/04/2007 22:33

No, but I think it might be better if she got a job where she wasn't away from home so much.

OP posts:
charliecat · 15/04/2007 22:36

If she spends all day monday and sunday with them thats more than some that drop off at 7.30am in baby gros and pick up at 6.45pm in jimjams. And work saturdays.

Callisto · 16/04/2007 07:56

I know you're all going to jump on me but I really can't see why a person would have children and not spend time with them. This: "...they don't seem to regard her as their mother, but think the nanny is their mum instead..." would break my heart if it was my daughter.

tribpot · 16/04/2007 08:39

To pre-empt Xenia, why are we not criticising the dad for working away from home all week?

Dh and I have always agreed that neither of us would do this, as we've seen the effect that it has had on marriages and other relationships only too often whilst working abroad.

Having said that, we can afford to make that choice, and not everyone can.

Seems a bit of an odd set-up, I assume the nanny must look after them night and day, unless they have two nannies. Hope she is well rewarded for that!

nailpolish · 16/04/2007 08:45

why did she bother having children?

oranges · 16/04/2007 08:47

Its the Mail. They are great at running articles that pitch women against each other.

BigGitDad · 16/04/2007 08:50

Callisto, I totally agree with you, if you do not spend the time with your children and they regard someone else as the parent what is the point of having children?

satine · 16/04/2007 08:50

I agree with NP.

mustrunmore · 16/04/2007 08:54

Well, I'm guessing she didnt plan for triplets, so the money then becomes a bigger issue. I'm assuming she's on a fantastic salary to make it worth paying a nanny and missing out on them so much.

Having said that, it really wouldnt be my cup of tea, for a whole heap of reasons.

Olihan · 16/04/2007 08:57

Is it Jackie Clunes, the woman in question? I've seen a couple of documentaries about her. She was on tour in Mamma Mia when her triplets were about 9 months old, only seeing them twice a week. Her dh was looking after them then but was finding it hard.

Personally, I couldn't do it but different strokes for different folks and all that.

goingfor3 · 16/04/2007 09:00

I don't think it's parenting at all so don't see how her style can be the way forward. Yes she is providing a safe enviroment and they have someone to look after them but as it's neither of the parents looking after the kids it's hardly parenting.

speedymama · 16/04/2007 09:01

I remember a City executive woman who was writing about her lifestyle. She went into labour whilst in a board meeting but carried on with the meeting. Afterwards, went to hospital and had baby (she also had a 2yo). Two weeks later handed baby over to nanny and said that Mon-Fri the nanny was the mother as she would not see the children because of her long hours. She took over the mother role at weekends, with the nannies help.

I personally could not do that but if it works for some families, then fine. I can't help thinking that the children will grow up with feelings of insecurity though.

I was listening to Analyis on R4 yesterday which was discussing the reasons behind why kids in the UK are one of the unhappiest in the world, despite being materially rich. Reasons given included the pressures of high expectations, parents working long hours etc but one that chimed with me was that kids who played with their parents were amongst the happiest. Interesting, throught provoking stuff.

ScottishMummy · 16/04/2007 09:07

must MN perpetulally argue the same old atguement and all its variants eg working mum and her child care arangements

Ding-ding round 1 - everyone wades in

Ding-ding round 2 - spurious and judgemental comments about working mums

seems to be plenty MN with enough time yo yap on line for prolonged periods - so who is watching the kids then...call that good quality interaction

Hey ho heres a thought ladies

its-up-to-her-none-lets-respect-her-choice-without-necessarily-agreeing

ScottishMummy · 16/04/2007 09:07

must MN perpetulally argue the same old atguement and all its variants eg working mum and her child care arangements

Ding-ding round 1 - everyone wades in

Ding-ding round 2 - spurious and judgemental comments about working mums

seems to be plenty MN with enough time yo yap on line for prolonged periods - so who is watching the kids then...call that good quality interaction

Hey ho heres a thought ladies

its-up-to-her-none-lets-respect-her-choice-without-necessarily-agreeing

MadamePlatypus · 16/04/2007 09:10

I can understand why one parent would do this with triplets - it might be the only way to make ends meet. However unless you had some cross between Mary Poppins and Maria as the nanny I think it would be very difficult in practice - my worry would be that the nanny would leave and the children would be bereft. I think this could only really work if the nanny was really a permanent member of the family, which isn't a realistic expectation in this day and age.

speedymama · 16/04/2007 09:13

Scottishmummy, most posters have posted their opinions and also said, if it works for her fine.

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