Yet another article re: why mothers should return to work

[boogiewoogie]

Just snatching a couple of minutes during a coffee break, will come back. What do you think of this?

The really high earning women and men - and I expect we could debate what that term means - are so statistically unusual that their lifestyles tell us nothing about most families in Britain.

Also, I'm convinced that the families where children really suffer are the ones where neither parent works. The damage done there can be very serious indeed.

I was quoted in the press as being "a city high-flier" so its offical, tee hee (its not true anymore )

Heuristic play sounds nice and cheap. Way to go.

Well Anna France really must be different or you must know a lot of women in very high erning jobs (by definition they must be a rare breed). I know of no mothers who never see their children at the weekend in the way you describe.

My boss who runs her own company and has two schoolage childre, has always worked and is most definitely a high earner sees her children loads. She drops them at school every day, goes to their plays etc, is involved with their homework (to the point where she talks my ears off about it) and picks them up sometimes (2 a week). Both her children were in FT childcare from a young age and two more delightful children you couldn't wish to meet.

In fact her seniority gives her more flexibility and power to have time off than most women in less well paid jobs would have.

As a matter of interest she schose to work less hours as the children got older as her view is that the availability of a parent specifically (as opposed to a paid carer) becomes more of an issue as a child gets older. I personally agree.

Taylor... Ds has lovely musical walker but his current favorite is pushing the laundry basket around, how very heuristic!

NK - of course you are right that dire poverty is the worst situation of all, for parents and children alike

But there are quite a lot of media discussions here in France about cases of neglectful parenting in the richest suburbs of Paris - older children with lots of disposal income but no supervision who fall by the wayside.

lazycow - I so agree about the older childrne need more input from their parents thing - I worry more about being accesible to DS when he is a teenager than now

I have two stepsons, one is nearly 12 and the other nearly 10, and we hit the issue of supervision of the older one last year when he started secondary school. It's a BIG issue.

Sue, we have a single drawer that the kids are allowed in. It entertains them and I don't have to clean up as much when they finish.

WOW, this is all a bit mad really!

Fair play for staying and standing your ground though Anna!!!!

"I think it's somewhat disingenuous to talk about what a wonderful SAHM you are when your child goes away for a week at a time and you have a superb income, actually."

got to agree hunker.

I also think its rather hypocritical to talk about how you would love your child to grow up on a farm etc when you live in PARIS!

to say you avoid interventionist medicince but to give your kid painkillers and nto to use homeopathic medicine

to say you avoid plastic toys but then say your daughter has plastic dolls

to say junk food is bad but talk about going out for pizza

to be really insulting about childcare and then say your daughter is going to childcare /school aged 3

etc etc.
but then I dont' believe anna is real, there are too many contradictions in her posts.

TeeCee - I think this thread is VERY interesting because we are getting beyond a polarised debate on SAHMs versus WOHMs and actually discussing the details of different life scenarios.

Decisions are based on so many criteria and it's hard to appreciate other people's decisions about their lives unless you really have a lot of information about their beliefs and circumstances.

Do you think Anna is SWSNBN here to stir up trouble?

sunnyjim - you are being silly.

I'm perfectly real, my life is perfectly real. Get on the Eurostar and come and see.

and there aren't any "contradictions" in my posts. But I am talking about a reality you don't know, so you don't always understand it. Fine, just ask for clarifications.

Eg pizza is not junk food when it is proper Italian pizza. It's nutritionally very good for you.

Dear god....can anyone remember the original thread here? I have a dim and distant memory that it was vaguely interesting......... What a shame that what started as a sensible and rational topic of discussion has been hijacked yet again. Anna.... I am truly shocked by your personal attacks on other MNers. I am glad for you that your husband can afford for you to have such an interesting life with your daughter, travelling to foreign countries, eating out etc, and that you have extended family who are willing and able to enrich your daughter's life further. Just please spare a thought for the majority of mothers who work damn hard to raise their children without such luxuries.

as for the farm business - I have no choice currently but to live where I do. But there is no law against dreaming of something else.

No I think she is Xenia's alter ego

Maybe they are the same person in a split personality put them together and you get the average view (the average view isn't very interesting though is it?)

Personally I've enjoyed Anna's posts and I also enjoy Xenias. They make me think and on the whole this thread has avoided too much name calling etc.

ebenezer - come on, I'm not attacking other MNers, the only times I get cross are in self defence.

lazycow - thank you

Ah, junk food. To eat or not to eat? Back in my mn lurking days, I was always struck by the flare-ups around around the debates about what to feed children.

Rambling here but I'm beginning to wonder if being mothers gives one enough in common with other women. It's as if we are so personal and individual in our ways that it's easy to become polarised.

NK - well, I don't like junk food so I find it pretty straightforward not to give it to my family. Mostly we do for our children what we do for ourselves.

I agree with your last post Lazycow

Anna - I wasn't actually asking anyone if they ate junk food. You know that don't you?

I enjoy nearly all the other posters (and certainly all of those who have posted today).

There isn't one way of living one's life, which is what bothers me so much about Xenia's standpoint where we should all be aspiring to be full-time mothers in professional careers and hopefully outearning our partners.