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The Guardian "Family" Section

36 replies

NineUnlikelyTales · 14/03/2007 21:43

Following on from the thread about the wicked stepmother, I wondered what you all think of The Guardian's Saturday "Family" section?

In general I enjoy it, but I HATE with a passion the life with teenagers column. The woman who writes it presents her foul-mouthed, dysfunctional offspring as perfectly normal. And it frightens me (DS is only 6m so no bad language here yet)

Any views?

OP posts:
peanutbutterkid · 14/03/2007 21:47

Teenagers column is my favourite because I find it so believable... sorry(!).

Original poster
NineUnlikelyTales · 14/03/2007 21:48

Aaaaaghh!

OP posts:
franca70 · 14/03/2007 21:51

Have to say I love my saturday guardian, but the family section is increasingly irritating me. There is the odd good article, but is quite rare. The only bits I enjoy are the letters from the readers and the old pictures etc. As for the mother of teenagers... at the very beginning I thought poor woman. Now I think she's mad. Why doesn't she tell them off?

stleger · 14/03/2007 22:31

I'm with peanutbutter here, I have two teenagers. They are like that at home - Kevin - elsewhere they are Perry. Yes Mrs. Patterson, No mrs Patterson.

corkgirl · 14/03/2007 22:34

I cannor believe any mother would allow their children to speak to them like that those children are horrible and the mother does not get how terrible her parenting is

grannycrackers · 14/03/2007 22:50

sorry - i have to say i find it realistic. i have teenagers and a lot of the time it is as described in the article. but mine don't smoke, take drugs or swear at home (no, really, they don't)

Hassled · 14/03/2007 22:51

Sorry, and I wouldn't have said this 10 years ago, but the teenager column is scarily and depressingly accurate.

moondog · 14/03/2007 22:52

Nine,I agree.
Am staggered at the sheer unpleasantness of it all.
I just can't fathom people behaving in this fashion,or indeed such behaviour being tolerated.

UnquietDad · 14/03/2007 22:53

I hate the teenagers bit too. The way they swear at her is so casual and repetitive and she doesn't even challenge it.

edam · 14/03/2007 22:54

Corkgirl, do you have any teenagers?

I don't, but I do bear the scars of helping to bring up my sister, 14 years younger than me, so saw adolescence from an adult perspective. I suspect it's one of those parenting experiences where the mother of a little baby looks at, eg. toddlers and thinks 'ooh, they are rough and nasty and so badly behaved, what terrible parents'. Only to discover, two years later, that that's normal toddler behaviour, exploring the world and just being generally bigger and stronger than babies!

UnquietDad · 14/03/2007 22:57

But when a toddler smashes his bowl down on the table and throws his food on the floor and pushes his brick-trolley against the wall to try and make a dent, most of us would use strategies to get him to stop. And make him realise it's naughty.

The mother just seems resigned to her teenagers swearing - not just swearing, but swearing AT HER. It shows a frightening lack of respect and is symptomatic of the rest of the problems she describes in the column.

Callisto · 15/03/2007 08:24

I don't think I live in Stepford but the teenagers I know are not like that at all. They wouldn't dream of swearing at their parents, help around the house, hold intelligent conversation etc etc.

Callisto · 15/03/2007 08:25

Agree with UnquietDad that you can't compare toddlers with teenagers.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 15/03/2007 08:54

I have teenagers. They don't swear in the home (realistically they probably do elsewhere), they don't take drugs, don't smoke.

I don't read this column so can't comment specifically but actually teens are very like toddlers in lots of ways. Temper tantrums when they don't get their own way, bad eating habits, keep you up at night (with worry), untidy. I could go on and on.

But they're lovely really - well mine are

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 15/03/2007 08:56

And IME there's only a couple of stratedgies that really work -

No cash.
And I'll embarrass you in front of your mates.

UnquietDad · 15/03/2007 09:53

What if they say "I'll get it some other way" and "you do anyway?"

nickytwotimes · 15/03/2007 10:06

i'm with nine on this one. some teenagers are horrid, but my friends with adolescents say that if their kids acted like that, they would get such a bollocking. i'm 33 and still don't swear in front of my mum! i'm sure the columnists kids will grow into being nice people and are probably charming outside the home, but all that swearing and door slamming? no way!

UnquietDad · 15/03/2007 10:07

Yes, it's not so much the swearing as the attitude of which it's symptomatic. They seem like kids who were nevr taught any respect.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 15/03/2007 10:14

Prescisely UQD - in truth you have absolutely no control over them. Just have to hope that they vaguely recall some of the good morals I've tried to instill in them over the years.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 15/03/2007 10:15

God my spelling is crap today.

nickytwotimes · 15/03/2007 10:25

i think that if a kid behaves well outside the home, that is always good going. if they are good at home most of the time, then they are fantastic! but what do i know? my bambino is only 8 mths

JanH · 15/03/2007 10:30

I started a thread on this the very first week it was in and said then (and still do ) that they didn't get like this on their own - she was obviously a doting adoring non-disciplining mama when they were little and sweet and that has turned round to bite her on the bum. (Either that or she takes a tiny incident and blows it up for literary effect but it makes her look so feeble and stupid it can't be that!)

I'm on my 4th teenager now and mine are generally polite, pleasant and reasonably diligent. (They can be idle sods and remarkably self-centred at times but hey...!)

whywhywhy · 15/03/2007 10:42

I think she's actually intimidated by her offspring poor woman. I was really shocked by the column a while back where her eldest (who seems like by far the worst and most abusive of them) trapped her in her bathroom over some petty dispute about towels.

Her column frankly terrifies me and my son is only 3.7.

filthymindedvixen · 15/03/2007 10:56

Teenagedom is looming in our house (he's only 9.5 but by god you can see the teenager within...)

I reckon the colum seems reasonably 'accurate', but let's face it, wouldn't be much of a column if it was:
''Please go and tidy your room dear Teenager.''

''Sure thing mummy-oh. Then, if it's ok with you, please may I pop out to my bible study class? I'll be home by 9pm. I know, you always taught me the importance of a good night's sleep...'''

I mean, we all flam up or exagerate our lives slightly sometimes for the sake of a good story. She's paid to make it 'interesting'.

Original poster
NineUnlikelyTales · 15/03/2007 12:34

FMV I can only hope you are right and it is over dramatised for effect.

I suppose the thing that shocks me the most is the language. Like you, Nickytwotimes, I never swore in front og my mum and very rarely do now. It didn't qualify me for bible studies status - I certainly had my moments - but it's not like they're only swearing in the heat of an argument.

I might print off this thread to keep until DS is 13, to remind me how easy it is to bring up teenagers

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