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On Yahoo -woman weighing 42 stone 'left to die'

44 replies

oxocube · 07/03/2007 17:18

Has anyone seen this article? The woman is confined to one room and her husband, ironically a chef, has given up work to care for her. She claims the NHS have abandoned her despite the fact that she spent months in the Priory, I think paid for by NHS, to help to battle her food addictions. She claims her weight gain is due to PND and surgeons have refused to treat her until she looses weight.

Any thoughts? Personally, I feel desperately sorry for the woman and her husband but don't feel that she can blame anyone else for her problems in the same way as a drug addict or alcoholic cannot blame others for their addictions.

OP posts:
KathyMCMLXXII · 07/03/2007 21:12

I'm not sure the Priory really is top notch - as I understand it, it's become a sort of chain and the places where the normal people go are nowhere like as nice as the ones where celebs go. A friend of mine was in one and it sounds pretty dire.

However, your point stands. And I thought learning to take responsibility was a key point in any treatment for addiction?

Blandmum · 07/03/2007 21:14

And I very much doubt that she has been 'left to die'.

From what I have seen of the NHS in recent months , they battle long and hard (and at massive expence) to extend the lives of those people that they know they can't cure!

I'm sure she has been given lots of advice and support.....3 months in the priory will not have been cheap for her doc to fund. But nothing will work unless she wants to change. It seems as if she wants a magic solution to her problems. And sadly there isn't one.

kimi · 07/03/2007 21:24

They said she has panic attacks if food is with held!

Elasticwoman · 07/03/2007 21:26

I know some one who has had gastric surgery for obesity. He had to lose a certain amount of weight on his own before the op - about 40 lb maybe - funny how he managed that when anticipating surgery, but had found it almost impossible before.

Caligula · 07/03/2007 21:30

kathy yes it is. Essential for long term recovery.

But when you're at this stage, you probably can't practically take full responsibility, just as an anorexic who needs to be put into a clinic or an alcoholic who needs to have choice taken away by being in re-hab, loses some responsibility depending on what stage they're at.

KathyMCMLXXII · 07/03/2007 21:33

I agree Caligula (just in case it sounded like I didn't).

Caligula · 07/03/2007 21:40

Those panic attacks - I would have thought the Priory would hve taught her techniques to deal with it.

The incorrect way to deal with it, is to eat a pie.

danceswithnewboots · 07/03/2007 21:42

Panic attacks if food is witheld - I've had them, they are seriously not fun but alot more fun than dying...

Her husband should be prosecuted for 'abusing' her, as a mentally ill person he is not caring for her, he is killing her.

danceswithnewboots · 07/03/2007 21:43

Inappropriate thread to be laughing on but Caligula...

Aloveheart · 07/03/2007 21:46

i feel sorry for her to a degree. Why the heck is her husband feeding her this stuff, why is he allowed to Can't she have special meals of wheels calorie controlled thing.?? Can you imagine what that must feel like?? She's a mother of four isn't she?? I wonder what her children think? Did anyone see it on the news?? She looked really pretty in the photo, she was slim and holding a baby. Until her dh stops feeing her fryups and god knows what else what is there she can do because she can't walk, can't move. What a waste of a life, Now i am on the biggish side, but there's big and there's BIG.

themoon66 · 07/03/2007 21:49

The NHS seem to have done plenty for her to be honest. If she doesn't comply, then they cannot forcibly treat her as then she would be sueing them for assault or something!

CountTo10 · 07/03/2007 21:50

It's funny I did see this and was shocked about the situation and then when the comment was made re why the difference between obesity and anorexia/bulimia it did make me stop and think as I''d never paired the two together before. However, there has to be a real effort to be saved with either problem. Just as when you have an eating disorder there is only so much they can do short of having you committed and attaching you to a drip, there is only so much they can do to assist in obesity of this nature. Could you commit someone and basically starve them bar the essential liquids and nutrients? That is nothing short of barbaruc and would cause an outcry re human rights etc. With anorexia/bulimia you're forcing them to take nutrients on so sustaining their life. I do think it is different. They are not leaving her to die they are just asking her to meet them halfway and why shouldn't they. She's already had 3mths treatment and is expecting to receive life threatening surgery for someone of her size. Seems to me she is looking for some easy way out rather than having to do anything herself. Her family need to have a word with themselves as well.

twoisenoughmum · 08/03/2007 17:59

I don't really understand what she wants the NHS to do for her. Its a terrible, grim, frightening story - like any story of addiction - and I fear she is simply going to die.

Themis · 08/03/2007 18:15

Has she actually said what she wants the NHS to do for her ?

Is there some miracle cure out there for obseity besides cutting down on food intake ?

I can't see what else they can do at the moment, surely its common sense that that cant operate on her at that weight , but then its the ' everyones elses fault but mine ' syndrome.

Because of her weight and lack of mobility they are perhaps restricted in what they can do until she starts helping herself first.

2shoes · 08/03/2007 18:20

her husbamnd feeds her fry ups for breakfast. all very odd,

Blandmum · 08/03/2007 18:24

Themis, I think that she wants the NHS to solve her probablems, with drugs or surgery. To wave a magic wand and make the fat go away. I can understand this, but she doesn't seem to understand that these treatments alone will be no use, unless she can also do something for herself.

NomDePlume · 08/03/2007 18:25

They are co-dependent. She is addicted to food and sees his 'feeding' as a show of love. He also views his feeding as a show of love, but it is also allowing him to exercise a disturbing amount of control over his wife.

It is not a nice story, but I have no idea what the 'best' outcome for it is.

colditz · 08/03/2007 18:26

I never understand overweight people who get militant about 'those who must help'

And I am very overweight. But I totally accept that it isn't genetics, or glands, or a medical condition, or drug treatment making me overweight, as it is in some cases. It's me, and my behavior around a full fridge.

Blandmum · 08/03/2007 18:27

toatly agree. It is very sad, but I am at a lost to know what the NHS can do in this situation.

Dh gets £1000 of drugs every month to control his symptoms. If he flushed them down the loo, and then complained that the NHS were ignorong him, I don't think he's get much sympathy

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