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Original poster

On Yahoo -woman weighing 42 stone 'left to die'

44 replies

oxocube · 07/03/2007 17:18

Has anyone seen this article? The woman is confined to one room and her husband, ironically a chef, has given up work to care for her. She claims the NHS have abandoned her despite the fact that she spent months in the Priory, I think paid for by NHS, to help to battle her food addictions. She claims her weight gain is due to PND and surgeons have refused to treat her until she looses weight.

Any thoughts? Personally, I feel desperately sorry for the woman and her husband but don't feel that she can blame anyone else for her problems in the same way as a drug addict or alcoholic cannot blame others for their addictions.

OP posts:
Enid · 07/03/2007 17:19

I don't even feel sorry for her

Original poster
oxocube · 07/03/2007 17:25

Doctors reckon she will be dead soon.

OP posts:
Iota · 07/03/2007 17:26

who's supplying her with food - presumably the husband - he needs to take control

Whoooosh · 07/03/2007 17:28

When I heard the title of the story on GMTV this morning (oh the shame of admitting it was on) I felt desperately sorry for her.

However,having seen the piece I don't.Her husband feeds her fry-ups and take aways so is not helping the situation one bit.

I did think she made one fair/interesting point though that anorexics seem to get more help/special centres than the obese.

Blandmum · 07/03/2007 17:30

She spent 3 months in the priory!

What does she want them to do?

Carmenere · 07/03/2007 17:31

FFS if I loved someone who was about to die from obesity I would stop feeding them too much. There is always a feeder somewhere in those reports of superfat people who are so disabled that they can't shop or cook for themselves.
What you are dealing with is the mental problem of the obese person and the mental problems of the feeder.
That recent programme about the bloke who was 80 stone or whatever, his wife said he got really angry if she diddn't give him what she wanted So what was he going to do hit her??All she had to do was stand at arms distance from him. imo she wanted to infantilise him so he was dependent on her. She should have got a puppy.

Original poster
oxocube · 07/03/2007 17:32

Whoooosh, your last point is interesting and I think says a lot about our relationship with food. Maybe we do tend to see people who over-eat as greedy, disgusting, but people who starve themselves as more needy, desperate, worthy of help.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 07/03/2007 17:33

They will not be able to safley operate on her at the weight that she is, the anaestetic would prabably kill her.

If three months of intensive treatment isn't enough for her, to be blunt, what will be?

Original poster
oxocube · 07/03/2007 17:35

The report says she wants them to treat her obesity. But how? What can the NHS do if her husband is on the scene to cook for her and feed. In the Yahoo article, he denies 'secretly feeding' her

OP posts:
Christie · 07/03/2007 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raspberryberet · 07/03/2007 17:36

Compulsive overeating can be an eating disorder, and food addiction is just as real as drug addiction.

That said, I feel that she is pointing the finger of blame in the wrong direction. If she has been in the Priory then she has had treatment - better treatment than most people with eating disorders get - and can't blame anyone else for the fact that she has lapsed.

At 42 stone, eating more and moving less isn't going to help her much. But if she choses to reject what the Priory and her other doctors have done for her, and if she choses to keep eating the crap that her husband cooks for her, she can't expect anyone else to take the blame for her weight.

Although that said, her husband is certainly complicit in her weight problem. I saw a programme a little while ago about feeders - men who feed their wives until they are morbidly obese as a way of controlling them and making their wives dependent on them. I can't help wondering whether there's something like that going on here.

zippitippitoes · 07/03/2007 17:36

tbh I think it is the same as an alcoholic or any other addiction

the individual is responsible and those around her...

every effort be made to help her overcome the addiction but the bottom line is we can't do it for you

KathyMCMLXXII · 07/03/2007 17:42

Where oh where is "Dr" McKeith when you need her?

Blandmum · 07/03/2007 17:42

Oh FFS of course he is feeding her!

What else is happeneing? is she breathing high calorie air or something?!

Utter bullshit, from people who simply don't want to accept their responsibility for this problem

paulaplumpbottom · 07/03/2007 18:32

I agree with Oxo, you can't see an anorexic worthy of healp and not an over eater. An anorexic or a drunk or someone who does drugs are just as much responsible for themselves.

Spidermama · 07/03/2007 18:35

I feel sorry for her and her kids.

Has anyone seen the film What's Eating Gilbert Grape? It covers this subject very well. The mum in that does die and the dd is mortified because she thinks they'll need a crane to get her out of the house.

It also stars Johnny Depp and a very young Leo DiCaprio, so well worth a look.

ChocolateTeapot · 07/03/2007 18:42

I feel sorry for her but her and her DH have to take responsibility. She clearly would lose weight if he only served up WW style meals. What exactly does she expect the NHS to do about it ? If they tried to operate for a gastric band I bet her chances of surviving a GA are tiny.

Spidermama · 07/03/2007 18:43

Poor woman though. What sort of place is she in? How on earth did that happen.

lulumama · 07/03/2007 18:46

getting to 42 stone is indicative of more than a dysfucntional relationship with food....once you are bed bound, once you are at a certain weight and can no longer do things for yourself, someone has to help you, enable you

3 months of intensive psychotherapy either did not work, or she did not want it to work, or her husband is sabotaging her

Blandmum · 07/03/2007 18:50

The problem with general anaethetics is that they are chemicals which tend to be fat soluble, they dissolve in fat. So fatter people need more to knock them out, and then over time the anaestheric 'comes back out' of the fat, and in some cases can lead to an over dose.

In addition, at that size, her heart and lung function will be seriously impaired and again put her at risk of death under a GA.

Ir sounds as if she is pinning all her hopes and a 'magic' solution of gastroplasty, forgetting that it will still require her to significantly reduce her food intake if it is to work.

And the first thing that she will need to do is to accept that she is fat because she is over eating.

beckybrastraps · 07/03/2007 18:50

WHat can the NHS do? Except remove the husband, put in a care assistant and feed her less until she loses some weight. But they probably aren't allowed to do that.

I will probably go straight to hell, but what I thought of when I heard she was stuck in her room was a monastery I visited in (I think) Portugal. There was a very narrow door there, leading into the refectory. The story is that the monks were renowned for their good living, fine dining in particular, so unless they could get through the door, they got no dinner. Kept a lid on the overindulgence.

ChocolateTeapot · 07/03/2007 18:55

Well exactly MB. My gallbladder really needs to come out but I am not going under a GA until I have lost 3 stones. I have two children to think about and have no intention of going through what really is elective surgery until I consider myself fit enough to do so. In the mean time I will take the consequences of my weight and put up with the pain from the gallstones. I know that my extra weight is a fraction of hers but I know full well that responsibility lies with me and until she accepts that and her DH accepts the consequences of what he is doing she clearly has a very limited life span. Very sad.

whitechocolate · 07/03/2007 19:02

Can't they sew her mouth up???!

She needs to accept that she has to stop eating so much and her husband is not helping by cooking her so much food. What's he going to do, overfeed her until she dies and then pay 3x times the normal price for a coffin to accommodate her bulk? If she drank nothing but water from now til Christmas and had very light meals twice a day, she would still be obese. She probably can't even stand up properly with all that weight to contend with. She must have very low self-esteem to let herself slip into such a downward spiral of abuse but if the Priory can't help.... there's only one person left who can. Herself.

paulaplumpbottom · 07/03/2007 21:01

"Can't they sew her mouth up???!"

Aren't we sensitive tonight?

Caligula · 07/03/2007 21:09

I think they should threaten to prosecute her husband.

I wonder if this is a plot to kill her by over-feeding her? It would make a good thriller. Like the one about killing someone with a frozen leg of lamb and then eating the murder weapon.

Sorry, that's a bit insensitive isn't it. But anyway, of course she has to take some personal responsibility (I'm not exactly sure how much, because eating disorders are a mental illness like others), but she can't do that when after top-notch treatment like the Priory, she returns to an environment where she's got someone sabotaging any progress. It's like an alcoholic returning to working in a pub with his mates all offering to buy him drinks.

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