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Alleged shooting in my town

62 replies

NeedACleverNN · 19/07/2016 10:48

www.thesun.co.uk/news/1467233/one-person-injured-after-gunshot-is-heard-at-lincolnshire-swimming-pool/?CMP=spklr--Editorial--FBPAGE--TheSun-thesun--20160719--News--520142808

SadSad

FB rumours are saying a father and daughter are dead but I hope it's just that. A rumour.

OP posts:
sportinguista · 21/07/2016 12:42

My dad was a PC for 25years, one of the worst cases he went to was an axe murder where the husband killed his estranged wife and her friend (male). The murderer was may friends dad and the friend the guy who used to repair our TV. He said it was one of the worst things he ever had to attend, the guy hung himself in a barn a few miles away. This was back in the 90's though. It was national front page news though.

JeffreyNeedsAHobby · 21/07/2016 12:43

And this from 2012 www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17097802

JeffreyNeedsAHobby · 21/07/2016 12:49

It's so terrible isn't it. There was one near where I live a couple of months ago - ex husband released from jail and then headed straight for his ex wife's new home and killed her and her new boyfriend as well as leaving their two sons with grievous bodily harm. He only had a knife but I imagine if it had been a gun it would have also been the kids and himself. In my opinion he should have been either far more closely monitored (he was jailed for violent offences towards wife and others and she had been relocated) or had a stricter mental review before being released. You can't help feeling the system often lets these families down.

BertieBotts · 21/07/2016 13:15

These murders are extremely predictable, actually.

It's nothing to do with friends and family being uncaring and everything to do with our culture which blames victims and validates unhealthy relationships as being normal, even presenting some aspects as a good thing e.g. jealousy.

Domestic violence organisations and experts can tell you that there are clear signs that relationship violence is escalating. Perfectly nice men don't just suddenly turn violent - there will have been signs in this relationship, you sometimes see these referred to as "red flags". Possibly, the abusive behaviours present in the relationship led to the break up. We know for a fact that women in abusive relationships are most at risk when the relationship ends. Currently, many domestic violence shelters and support services have lost funding due to cuts.

One of the reports has an ex-neighbour of the man saying that, actually, he was a man who was prone to aggression towards neighbours and anyone who displeased him. This is another sign that we know - unfortunately in his case these incidents were unreported.

If you can stomach it, Women's Aid have a report called "Nineteen child homicides". This details incidents where children are killed by their father after divorce/separation where domestic violence was present in the parents' relationship. It is not exactly the same scenario, but it is close. We have information. Nobody is acting on it. Why? There are only two logical conclusions, each horrifying. The first is that nobody cares. Or the only people who care are powerless to effect change. The other conclusion is that there are just too many men who fit the profile, so that it would be a logistical nightmare, not to mention a threat to civil liberty, to keep tabs on them all.

I think attitudes need to change first so that the smaller incidents are more likely to be joined up. Things are changing - but as 99% of the reports of this and other similar incidents show, we have a long way to go.

sportinguista · 21/07/2016 13:16

The thing was some will always go under the radar as there are simply no signs. my friends dad had no history of violence, there was no indication of what would happen. Some there will be. Is there a lack of understanding of how serious a situation in regards to domestic violence may be getting?

BertieBotts · 21/07/2016 13:29

Numbers increasing, Beyond, but so is the population - it's not actually that clear whether it's in line. Karen Ingala Smith and Women's Aid are releasing a database soon called Femicide which is intended to track such things.

JeffreyNeedsAHobby · 21/07/2016 14:06

Some will always be going under the radar, however the cases where domestic violence or abuse was known and still nothing seems to have been done to protect women and children are startlingly high.

sportinguista · 21/07/2016 14:20

Is it maybe the current law and support needs to be looked at, maybe it needs more teeth to deal with perps and better support for women to feel confident enough to walk away?

BertieBotts · 21/07/2016 21:00

Yes both of those things. Actually the WHO's recommendations are excellent and evidence based. Page 5 of this PDF: apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/10665/77421/1/WHO_RHR_12.38_eng.pdf

JeffreyNeedsAHobby · 21/07/2016 21:55

Wow. "How do I love thee, let me count the ways." There seem to be a fair amount of loopholes to stop calling murder murder...

JeffreyNeedsAHobby · 21/07/2016 21:59

Or rather, "reasons" to commit murder.

FoggyBottom · 21/07/2016 22:43

Brilliant post, BertieBotts. You put much more eloquently what I was trying to get at.

And I'm sorry but I don't think this is something where #notallmen applies. All men gain from the ways in which small acts of control and violence are perpetrated by those few who go on to kill. Because, a you say Bertie people turn a blind eye, and there are so many of them, it would be impossible to identify and deal with them all.

It's a model of masculinity which is -like femininity- on a spectrum. Not an either/or, but all men are ranged on this spectrum and all men are touched by the effects of patriarchy, misogyny, and the privileges which flow from those.

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