UK teens among the most badly behaved in Europe

[WhizzBangCaligula]

Oh God.

report here

This is so depressing. I want to move.

The job thing sounds like it could be really important, Foxinsocks - I wonder what the figures are on that.

However I suppose the same thing is happening in the rest of Europe where teens are, according to that research, better behaved?

I too think we could do with hearing more about the good things teens do. My DS1 is 13, annoying at times and can get on his brother and sister's nerves, but he knows right from wrong and has given us a really easy ride so far. He likes being around us and very rarely ventures out with his many friends without a specific purpose. I feel sorry for the vast majority who would not dream of causing trouble yet are regarded with suspicion.

I haven't read all the responses here.

Wouldn't it be nice if we saw more examples of good teen behaviour and examples of parents and teenagers relating well to each other. I know plenty of families personally who I look up to and aspire to have that sort of relationship with my children when they are teenagers.

The media constantly painting a picture of ALL teenagers as alien anti-social creatures tends to make people treat all teens like alien anti-social creatures putting a wider wegde between adults (both parents and generaly adults) and teenagers.

I do have to wonder why I see so many young teenagers out on the streets at all hours. Even when I was 15/16 I wasn't allowed out when it was dark and even at weekends I had to ask to go out with friends and say what we would be doing. It wasn't a assumed that I could spend all weekend away from my parents.

I haven't read all the responses here.

Wouldn't it be nice if we saw more examples of good teen behaviour and examples of parents and teenagers relating well to each other. I know plenty of families personally who I look up to and aspire to have that sort of relationship with my children when they are teenagers.

The media constantly painting a picture of ALL teenagers as alien anti-social creatures tends to make people treat all teens like alien anti-social creatures putting a wider wegde between adults (both parents and generaly adults) and teenagers.

I do have to wonder why I see so many young teenagers out on the streets at all hours. Even when I was 15/16 I wasn't allowed out when it was dark and even at weekends I had to ask to go out with friends and say what we would be doing. It wasn't presumed that I could spend all weekend away from my parents.

Sorry for the typos and double post.

The 'role models' the media puts forward for young people today are tragic.

The 'role models' the media puts forward for young people today are tragic.

I agree with Sherbert, most teens aren't badly behaved. None of my three have ever been in trouble, they've done their school work, had p/t jobs and also gone out and enjoyed themselves without giving anyone any grief. And the same goes for all their close friends. The few children who did go off the rails had other issues in their lives and could almost have been predicted from early days to be the ones who later had problems.

As for having nothing to do, teens have never had anything to do (we didn't even have a phone when I was a teenager). But I guess before the invention of the teen concept people of that age would have had much less leisure time than nowadays and thus less time to get into mischief.

This is exactly why children should never leave their mother's side until at least 30.

I don't get this 'they have nothing to do', as if somehow, it's everyone else's job to entertain them.

Isn't that part of becoming an adult and/or mature member of society - learning how to entertain yourself w/o breaking the law?

I mean, WTF?

When I was a teen, there was FA to do, and no good public transport. So you were stuck at home.

It depends where you live. In Preston I saw young teenage girls wheeling buggies all the time. I hate to sound as though I'm stereotyping here but they really were Waynettas most of them! They wore tracksuits with their bellys showing, had fags hanging out of their mouths, the kids usually had no shoes on and they had a dog too, a vicious one. They all used to drink in our local too.

The public play areas were full of drinking, smoking and swearing teenagers and everytime we went to the local booze shop we'd get hassled by the teens outside to buy them drinks or fags.

People have no respect for themselves and it's hard to have respect for others if you don't have it yourself. This is also a very commercialised country and people seem to think that they can buy happiness.

Plus we have no culture to speak of here, it's dead and buried. Over in France it's in their culture to have large family meals, street fétes, local festivals etc, there's one every week! They have a pride in themselves and who they are. This is what we lack.

Agree with the lack of good role models. This is particularly true of some boys who feel that being a lad is what being a man is all about.

I would also put forward the following for some kids.

Lack of respect for the views of others.

Lack of respect for those who seek to help them, parents, teachers police, medics etc.

Lack of dicipline, parents are now often running scared of their kids, afraid to lay down the law because the kids will not like it. Well, tough shit, sez I.

Lack of any real consequnces of poor behaviour. I'm sick of controling classes by sheer will power and 'bluff' If kids arse around they need to hae real sanctions.

Lack of any will to do things for themselves , or to make life better for themselves and others around them.

Lack of the chance to still be kids, they are sexualised way too young, they would be better doing semi structured activites that allow them still be be kids, and to mature in slower time.

They have the mistaken idea that they are the equals of adults. They are not. They should be treated politly, but we treat them as adults at our, and their peril. They are not adults, they are teeagers and still need guidance and control, from adults who love and value them.

Well of course, if we ever said we were bored our parents would say something like 'You can mow the lawn then' or 'You can peel the potatoes for dinner'.

Maybe it's the lack of potatoes to peel what with everyone eating oven chips.

Rhubarb, you are o right about the family 'culture' thing being missing in the UK.

When I was growing up, part of what kept me on the straight and narrow was the realisation that I was part of a family that had specific values. And if I fucked up I would bring shame on my family. I didn't want to have that happen so I behaved.

Actually, I tell a lie, ds2 did cause some trouble once. He and some friends took a short cut, running through someone's garden, trampling plants. The owner (rightly) complained to me so I sent ds2 to her house to apologise and offer to make recompense. The woman was very gracious about it and always said hello after that.

I think this thing of not allowing them or expecting them to be children for long enough is a big one. This is partly the fault of marketers and partly of parents for not resisting them.

And then there's this whole culture of calling them "young people" as if we're not allowed to define them as children any more as well and talking about them as if the average 15 year old is just as qualified to talk about and be listened to with respect equally about every subject as a 35 year old. Granted, some are more qualified to talk about some subjects, but this whole pretence of pretending there's no difference between experience and inexperience is so annoying. I've come across kids who seriously expect me to listen to their views about stuff they've never read about. Well when i was 15 and at a dinner, I would understand that I was out of my depth and needed to go away and read a bit of Marx or Aristotle or Salman Rushdie or whatever it was they were discussing, before I could participate on an equal level. Nowadays, they talk crap and expect it to be entertained in the same way as someone who knows what they're talking about. Where has that attitude come from?

Caligula, little girls of 6 are having their eyebrows shaped in France, getting expensive make-up kits and perfume for their birthdays. It is a very vain country in many ways, but their teenage pregnancy statistic is much lower than ours.

They have respect and pride for themselves.

agree with martianbishop.
and yes in some places there is a serious lack of things to do. (god there are only two cinemas here. when I ws a teenager I used to go at least once a week). and why are they always walking around at any time of the day? shoouldn't they be at school?
Anyway, again, I'm always a bit skeptical of such researches (see webcrone post!). I'm Italian, I don't really think italian teenagers are that better behaved...

Oh god the french.

They are all mad. They know what moisturiser to use from teh age of 10 and wear matching underwear right from the word go. I have never yet met a french woman who admitted to having non-matching underwear (although one did admit that she had worn her bra the day before and couldn't find a matching one for her clean pants, so wore a dirty one instead, which matched. Priorities! )

do you change bra every day?

Do you know, when I was a student teacher, I was bollocked my my tutor for calling my students 'Boys and girls'. My tutor accused me of not treating them as young adults.

So I told her that I didn't treat them as young adults, because they were not young adults! the look on her face was quite something to behold. After that point we 'agreed to differ' and she was a swine to work with!

Caligula, it sounds like you went to some very highbrow dinners for a 15 year old

(agree with your post though.)

I had v. posh friends Katherine!

Yes I change my bra every day. (Will now get bollocked by the eco-lobby)

I'm off to M&S...

You can never have too many bras.

Outlet stores are the thing...