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Original poster

I have completely changed my mind about Madonna's adoption

44 replies

sorrell · 26/10/2006 18:40

If she is telling the truth - and I honestly believe she is - then I would do exactly the same in her place. I thought she was taking a child from his family, but he was never visited, had had malaria and TB and had pneumonia when she saw him. She's wanted another child for five years and been planning to adopt for two. I think he will be very loved.
I have often wanted to take home one of the poor beautiful children you see in orphanages, to the point that I cannot watch footage of them on Children in Need or on the news. Just makes me cry. If I had money and influence and could do it, I would.
Now, if she would take all the Kaballah crap out of her plans for the Malawian orphanage she would go up even higher in my estimation.

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WelshBoris · 26/10/2006 18:41

She just doesnt seem to be spending any time with him though, if she wanted a child that much surely her career can be put on hold for a bit?

Original poster

sorrell · 26/10/2006 18:41

Why do you say that? Where has she been?

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MarsLady · 26/10/2006 18:42

and yet also in the news were a couple who wanted to adopt their nephew and niece and were told that they couldn't because the children still had living relatives!

Me.... don't know what I think about the whole thing... but it still doesn't sit right!

Piffle · 26/10/2006 18:42

Me too
She has changed that one childs life from one of almost certain death to one of a life most could only dream of.
YEs it would be nicer if she could save the whole of Malawi but even changing one life makes a difference.
A million orphans needing help.

Original poster

sorrell · 26/10/2006 18:43

I think everyone has been far too judgemental about what is a good thing.

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Freckle · 26/10/2006 19:12

I agree that taking a child out of poverty and misery is a good thing, but why should it be a good thing when you have money and influence and a quagmire when you just happen to be a relative with not much money but loads of love to give?

It does strike me that it is the latest sleb "must have" - adopt an orphan from Africa or the latest third world hot spot.

I would have far more admiration for Madonna if she had provided the money for the child to continue living with its family. Why did she not choose a true orphan with no living relatives? And why Africa? I have an uncomfortable feeling that he was chosen because of his very visible colour. I may be wrong. It's just the impression I get.

southeastastra · 26/10/2006 19:15

marslady i really feel for that couple, it's so sad they really need to be here

Spidermama · 26/10/2006 19:21

I'm with your sorrell.

Madonna's a woman with a maternal instinct who's just doing what she feels is right. How we've managed to turn her into a villian for wanting to look after a baby is beyond me.

She is not the enemy. How can we focus so much negative attention on such a loving act.

As for not spending much time with him - that's how Madonna does things. She's Madonna. She's very busy. I'm sure he's not been left on his own after all. Her methods may be a bit alien to some of us but that's hardly surprising. Not many of us know what it's like to be one of the richest, most photographed women in the world.

I wish we weren't always so suspicious of people - especially women. I blame the press. And I am the press.

Original poster

sorrell · 26/10/2006 19:25

But he couldn't 'continue' to live with his family because he has NEVER lived with his family and his family had NEVER even visited him once since he was days old, despite his suffering from three illnesses that could have killed him.
I thought exactly teh same thing about paying his family to look after him, but other adoptive parents have pointed out to me that nearly every children in an orphanage will have some living relatives and if you pay families to look after them, you will eventually end up by encouraging more people to put their kids in orphanages
Madonna apparently 'chose' a child from Malawi because is it one of the poorest places on earth with one million orphans and she was already involved in a Malawian charity before she saw David (that's how she met him).
From what she says he would have died if she left him.
I have totally changed my view on this and think I was far too critical before.
And it's not Madonna's fault if the English adoption laws are unfair to another couple.

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Original poster

sorrell · 26/10/2006 19:26

But has she left him on his own?

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7up · 26/10/2006 19:26

freckle i thought of that today also, that it would have been a bigger gesture to provide for his care for life with his family rather than taking him away from it

Original poster

sorrell · 26/10/2006 19:27

From the look of her on the Oprah show she hasn't even been to get her roots done!

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Tortington · 26/10/2006 19:27

why that country is what bothers me.

why not a poor american child or a poor english child? why that country.

i know the answer too. its becuase money can buy you a baby.

thats whats wrong. no hoops to jump through - hoops that are unjustly causing the children previously mentioned to no have what seems like a happy life.

however hoops that have been put in lace for the welfare of children and childrens rights.

how rubbish would it be if madonna went through the english system and got turned down?!!

7up · 26/10/2006 19:27

xpost sorrel, i didnt realise the family had pratically abondoned him.typically ive only seen the papers and made my judgement on the pics of the father working hard in the fields

maggiesmama · 26/10/2006 19:28

hear and agree to an extent. but... who adopts a child and then f*s off to the gym for three hours the next day? surely you would not want to leave them, and more to the point, not want them to experience being left. total madness, imho

Original poster

sorrell · 26/10/2006 19:28

She says she has gone through all the procedures in the US as a US citizen. And she chose Malawi because she was helping set up an orphan charity there. I don't see why she would be an unfit parent either.

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Original poster

sorrell · 26/10/2006 19:30

Maybe he was having a sleep? And his new father was with him, and maybe it wasn't three hours at all. After seeing Madonna speak I am very sceptical about all the press coverage of this issue tbh.

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FioFio · 26/10/2006 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Spidermama · 26/10/2006 19:33

I think the press have behaved disgracefully hounding the father (who had previously never even heard of Madonna) and also hainbg aournd like packs of wild dogs at the airport where the poor boy was coming into the country. How traumatising would that be for a toddler?

BATtymumma · 26/10/2006 19:34

from what i understand this boys mother died giving birth to him. his father placed him straight into an orphanage as he would be unable to care for him and work.

he has not visited this boy for much of his life, he was very ill with pnuemonia when Madge saw him.

She chose malawi because she has already been funding an orphanage out there for the past 6/7 years.

on the news last night they spoke to the reporter that was with the father when he came back from the meeting with madge. he said the man new exactly what was happening and was happy that his son would be having a good life with this rich lady ( he had no idea who Mad was)

from what i can make out she is followig fuidelines. she will not fully have adopted david for another 18 months, as is regulation in Malawi.

if 1 child is saved from a life of solitude and i lness with a life expectancy of no more than about 30 i dont really care how much the red tape has been loosened to be honest

Twohootsandapumpkin · 26/10/2006 19:37

I still think she has been able to adopt because of her money/status and has therefore bought this child. Do you really think she will spend a lot of time (which lets face it will be needed when a child is adopted to build bond etc) with that child. She didn't even go and collect him FFS!

The reason she did it all thru the US is that it is a hell of a lot easier than the UK!!!

It is nothing more than the latest celeb 'fad'. I agree that the child needed desperate help but couldn't a 'normal' family have adopted him (there are a lot of childless people in the UK desperate to adopt children). It is love he needs not money and imho he'll get the former not the latter sadly

I mean this is the woman who callously sought out the 'appropriate looking' father for her first child. Didn't want to have a relationship or anything with him - she just picked him 'off the shelf' used his sperm and then 'put him back again'. Doesn't strike me as someone who has a lot of compassion or the welfare of the child at heart!!!!!!

Twohootsandapumpkin · 26/10/2006 19:38

Ooops in my rant - I got my formers and latters muddled up . Off to calm down now.

Spidermama · 26/10/2006 19:45

Twoshoots Madonna doesn't follow celeb fads.
The issue of other people waiting to adopt has nothing to do with this case.

I wonder if David Banda will hate Madonna for denying him the opportunity to carry water miles and miles to his home and watch those around him die of starvation like his brothers did before him.

I can't help suspecting that whatever Madonna did other women would hate her.

northerner · 26/10/2006 19:47

I am very uncomfortable that Madonna is being villified for this and her reasons for adopting are being questioned. Are we saying she should not be allowed to adopt because of how much money she has? That is just inverted snobbery. We would never say a poor woman should not adopt as she can't provide financially so why acuse Madonna of not being able to love him and meet his financial needs?

Sounds to me like she has done a lot for this village in Malawi, and probably other projects we get to hear about. Why shouldn't she be able to open her home to another child just like you or I? It sad that you or I would be championed for it but she is criticised.

Seems to me she would be damned if she did and damned if she didn't.

Original poster

sorrell · 26/10/2006 19:48

Why couldn't a 'normal' family have adopted him? What an odd thing to say. There are a million orphans in Malawi, are you adopting one? No? Me neither. I don't think she was exactly elbowing people aside to get to him, frankly.
I think it's pretty horrible to say that Madonna won't love him. Actually I can't think a nastier thing to say about anyone.

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