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Original poster

Do your children have good friends of a different race?

67 replies

TheDullWitch · 05/10/2006 13:44

Or are their friends mostly same as your family? David Cameron says racial communities should stop leading parallel and separate lives. But haven't we always?

OP posts:
oliveoil · 05/10/2006 13:46

no, but they are not at school yet, I am assuming that when they get to school they will mix with black and asian children.

But tbh I couldn't care less what skin colour my childrens' friends are, if they are all white, I would not worry or think I was racist or something.

motherinferior · 05/10/2006 13:47

Well, my kids have two mixed-race parents so we have a fair bit integral integration here in the Inferiority Complex.

oliveoil · 05/10/2006 13:49

there is one asian girl at dd1's playgroup called Tara and when dd1 was playing with her happyland figures she pointed to one of them and said "she is brown like Tara" and stood her next to the groom. I have no idea what to make of this!

charliebat · 05/10/2006 13:49

No, because there are so few at school, maybe 6 out of 420. They do have mixed race relatives though.

CovenOVeneer · 05/10/2006 13:49

My dd 3 main friends (she is alomst 5) are Iranian, Pakistani and Israeli. I think it is very much dependant on the area you live in. Here in London there is such a diversity of different cultures it is much more likely that your child will befriend a child from a background different to their own.

charliebat · 05/10/2006 13:50

I do though.

23balloons · 05/10/2006 13:52

Yes lots. We are also in London and have neighbours of different races and probably half of the kids as ds school are from different races.

Frieda · 05/10/2006 13:53

At DS's old school, the class was about two-thirds white and up until about the end of year one, I can honestly say I don't think DS realised there were differences between races - he thought one of his friends had tight curly hair because he ate a lot of crusts. He had a very good friend who happened to be Asian and muslim; another who was of mixed race.

Blu · 05/10/2006 13:56

Yes, he does, and we do.

Looking round at our friends and the circles of friends of my friends, class is more of a dividing line between family friendships than race.

peegeeweegeeWITCH · 05/10/2006 13:57

There are a few asian children at ds's school - perhaps 4 in every class of 30. DS was close friends with an indian boy, but he has sadly not progressed to the junior school with ds but onto a private school.

DD is very good friends with an indian boy at nursery - he is a gorgeous little boy. She is also very fond of a chinese girl at nursery.

Gobbledispook · 05/10/2006 13:57

Not too many because our immediate area is not particularly multicultural I wouldn't say.

They have friends who are Mexican and ds2 has a friend who is half Turkish.

Funnily enough, ds1 and I had a conversation this morning about 'people with different colour skin' - he told me that 'people with brown skin are from India'. I never told him that so I don't know where he's got it from!

Blandmum · 05/10/2006 13:57

DD has a friend who is nigerian. In the class are also german, spanish and indian children. She is friends with them too , but not as clase as with the nigerian girl.

ds is very friendly with a boy who's parents are Iranian. In the class is the sister of dd's friend and an Indian girl.

This is considerably more ethnically diverse than the local state school (my two are in one of those nastly elitist private type schools )

UnquietDad · 05/10/2006 13:57

No. Not through any intention; it's just that most of dd's friends are from school, and the school, amazingly, is 100% white. I think it must be one of the few primary schools in our city where that is true. She used to have a Moslem friend from nursery, but they have more or less lost touch. ds's friends are mostly children of our friends at the moment.

sugarfree · 05/10/2006 13:58

Ds2 is in a 'gang' of 5 mates,one is Chinese and one is half Thai,I don't think ds2 has noticed tbh and if he has he hasn't mentioned it.

motherinferior · 05/10/2006 13:58

Yes, I find class more divisive.

foxinsocks · 05/10/2006 13:58

yes they do

HallgerdaLongcloak · 05/10/2006 14:01

Yes, they do.

peegeeweegeeWITCH · 05/10/2006 14:02

Sorry, didn't mean to stop there..

I find that other than pointing out the different skin colour, the same they would point out blond vs brown hair, the kids don't notice and all get along great.
If only the parents were like that!!!

Where we live I have noticed that the Indian families join in, talk to the other (non Indian) mums and try to integrate.
But the Pakistani's (who around here wear Sari's) tend to keep themselves to themselves and will only speak to you if you approach them first - and don't tend to offer more than a quick 'hello'...

fennel · 05/10/2006 14:04

no

They did when we lived in Manchester. and not since we moved to Devon. which is a bit of a shame.

saadia · 05/10/2006 14:06

Ds1 has just started Reception but weirdly enough at nursery all his friends were Indian or Pakistani and his best friend was Afghani(we are Indian). I found this very strange. He didn't mix at all with the white children, for him it was like they didn't exist. I suppose the racial mix was half and half - white:non-white.

At school now though he has tentative friendships with a Greek boy and a Jamaican boy.

Bink · 05/10/2006 14:21

Like mb, my two are in a private school which happens to be very international - so they have classmates of all kinds of racial/national/religious backgrounds. Dd (nearly 6) makes friends on the basis of wattage of smile and I don't think really grasps the differentness of cultures - though that will come, I think.

Ds(7) is very aware of culture & religion, though not so much race I think. His particular friend this year is Muslim and after a slightly rocky phase they have agreed to disagree as to whether humans are made from clay or DNA.

The only slight downside of this international schooling is that both of them now expect people from other cultures to be from overseas - so they don't automatically see that (eg) you can be black but not from Africa.

Original poster
TheDullWitch · 05/10/2006 14:36

My dss had friends from other races at nursery, but this has faded out as they ve gone up the school to years 4 and 6. It is a very mixed race inner London primary, but the kids tend to bond with children of same race, with a few exceptions. That said, it is a very harmonious school, with much mutual respect of difference, but it doesn t translate as far as friendship, for which children seem to choose to be with those like themselves. And far more of the black (African and Caribbean heritage children) go to after school club (white middle class pick up or have au pairs) so harder to arrange for them to cement friendships coming back for tea.

OP posts:
Posey · 05/10/2006 14:42

Yes, both of them do.

PhantomCAM · 05/10/2006 14:44

Yes.

tortoiseshell · 05/10/2006 14:45

Not friends, as we live in a very white area, but our children have 2 half Indian cousins, and 1 half Chinese!

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