IVF - GENDER SELECTION? RIGHT OR WRONG??

[kittylette]

My friend has just given birth to her third son a few weeks ago, and whilst visiting mentioned she would be having IVF next time, confused as she has no trouble concieving i asked 'why'?

Her reply was, i want a girl next time. Ill have IVF and have the frozen embies sent to a clinic in Spain where they will be genetically screened and the girls seperated from the boys. Ill then have only female embryoes replaced - itll cost around £6000 for the treatment.

I was secretly very shocked, and at first i didnt see the harm but the more i think about it the more i am sadened!

During IVF for 'fertility problems' the embryoes are screened yes, the best ones are put back - but to me that is keeping in line with nature, survival of the fittest, and i think IVF is very much justified for childless couples - its a truely wonderful bit of science,

but to use it to choose the gender? not so sure - once those embies fertilize they are babies, and to simply dispose of them because they are boys seems so wrong.

perhaps if the embies were donated to eggless couples it would be more justified!

but honestly, where does it end? a girl...then a girl with blue eyes.. blonde hair only?

surely it a long, sad, slippery slope??

Kitty

I find that quite sickening to be perfectly frank!

Pruni, I apologise if I seemed flippant about IVF. I do understand that it's a nightmare to go through, a friend of mine went through hell with it for years and never managed to get pregnant. I just meant that even if I were prepared to go through all that, it would feel wrong to "deselect" the male embryos on the basis of gender only.

Nooo chipmonkey that wasn't aimed at you!!
I was just getting it off my chest really.
I think people don't understand in general how fecking hard it is, so saying "We'll do ivf to get a girl" seems like just another option - the reality is it fails most of the time and the physical side of things is grim.
I blame the Daily Mail (of course) and, well, the rest of the media, really.

just thought I'd make it clear I mean for gender selection because you've got boys and want a girl and vice versa - not IVF in general (obviously)

jt

I feel strongly that each and every baby is special. That said I understand that you cannot help how you feel and that a desire to 'balance' a family and experience raising both genders is natural.This is not to say that you should undergo a procedure lightly nor ignore the fact that people who cannot have children at all would feel delighted at the chance of having any gender.

I'm with hunkermunster on this, you get what you get and we should all be grateful that we can have them at all. ivf is for people who need help with conception not for designing specific fantasy children. I think this is a bit of an insult to couples that go through round after round of heartrending ivf just to have any baby!

Sorry but pmsl at the thought that anyone would have IVF voluntarily if they knew what it was like and also at the assumption that it would work firt time.

I would have been thrilled to have any one of my three nightmarish (and dangerous in one case) cycles work. Frozen embryos have an even smaller chance of implanitng than fresh - many don't survive the freezing process.

To justamum
I think you have misunderstood my point. I had no intention of 'insulting' couples who have to undergo cycle after cycle of IVF to have any child regardless of their gender. However it is an insult to squash peoples feelings who would like to raise children of both sexes. This is not to condone gender selection for 'fantasy children' just an understanding that some people wish to experience both genders.

hm...i have 3 boys,and yeah, of course it would have been nice if any of them would have been a girl...but then, of course they wouldn't be who they are now....the way I see it is, that they bloody better give me a grandaughter one day ;)
I realllly can not understand this desperate longing for a child of a certain sex....yeah, sometimes I think, oh would be lovely to uy those gorgeous girly clothes and do girly things...but then....the child might well end up a tomboy anyway...you just don't know, do you!