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Original poster

Killer Dad really upsetting me

50 replies

jetsetmum · 18/08/2006 21:58

There are so many sad & worrying stories in the news but this one is really upsetting me.

The Sun news story

I hate my imagination some times but I can't get out of my head what went through that little boys mind when his dad did that to him - I'm glad the father lived so he can suffer.

How Why what??? I just can't ever understand. This one has really got to me.

OP posts:

childern · 20/08/2006 20:21

i just can't understand people that can do such nasty things to hurt each other i hope it destroys him there was no need for him to drag his children in to their problems them poor kids

Overrun · 21/08/2006 12:51

but mothers do kill themselves and their children. what about the woman who threw herself and her Autistic son off a viaduct in the Northeast somewhere?
I too well up with tears every time I think of it, but saying that Mothers wouldn't be able to do it, is just wishful thinking

CaligulaCorday · 21/08/2006 13:30

I think the difference is that in most cases of mothers killing their children, they are in despair and are killing their kids because they fear to leave them in the world without their protection. They're not doing it to punish another adult. Whereas in many cases of fathers killing their kids, they're doing it to punish the children's mothers.

Hell of a difference imo.

Overrun · 21/08/2006 14:57

agree caliguacourday that this is an important difference, but the post I was responding too, didn't seem to think that Mothers did it all. this kind of killing is more common to Fathers, but they don't have the monopoly on putting their needs before their children, what about the woman who has just gone to prison afer turning her own son into a heroin addict?
There have been plenty of Mothers who have jumped from tower blocks with new born babies. PND, drug user, who knows how premeditated these things are, or what the motivation was? It's important not to generalise or demonise, in my opinion.

prettymum · 21/08/2006 15:02

do you think the dad should starve himself?, the people in the country where he killed his son think he should commit suicide

Blandmum · 21/08/2006 15:07

I have read that he shouted' I will will kill them before I let you have them ' (or words to that effect). If this is true (and I stress the if) them it puts a particular cast on the case. if it is true then it makes it a case of hateread rather than despiration

suzywong · 21/08/2006 15:11

I haven't read the story because I don't want to blub, but the quiet non-eventful village my parents lived in had a tragedy like this. Man clubbed his children to death with a baseball bat and then burned himself because the wife was going to leave him.

I came across their memorial floral tributes down a lane by the edge of a strawberry field that summer, it was way before I had kids and it's just reminding me how sad it was. But that strawberry field in the summer is a beautiful place and I hope they are at peace.

expatinscotland · 21/08/2006 15:22

Is it true his two brothers also killed themselves and he was on anti-depressants?

If so, he has some SERIOUS mental health problems.

Blandmum · 21/08/2006 15:24

One brother I think. Still obvious family issues.

FourJays · 21/08/2006 15:48

I read this story last night and I cried for ages I was so upset.

snowleopard · 21/08/2006 16:02

I have also seen many stories about men killing themselves/their kids to get back at their ex/wife. It's always horribly upsetting but I agree there is something particularly, gut-wrenchingly awful about this one ( - which is odd, because the little girl will make a full recovery and that is so much better for the poor mother than what most mothers in this situation have to endure - losing all their kids). I don't know why but I too have been really dwelling on it and crying over it. I feel so sorry for that little boy and saw his photo in the paper and just so much wanted to hug him and make it all right.

Edmond · 21/08/2006 16:06

he had very serious problems its just completely tragic

calebsmum · 21/08/2006 22:30

More news here

here

Piffle · 21/08/2006 22:31

his wife has told the news that he had no alcohol that day at all...it does beggar belief and it is a tragedy for everyone concerned
There are reports he is refusing to eat.
He literally must have bene out of his mind. I canot comprehend that it was rational thought.

sansouci · 21/08/2006 22:43

An incredibly stupid & selfish gesture, even considering his mental instability. He will pay for it all his life, poor man.

Piffle · 21/08/2006 22:45

Coupled with that story today of the mother and 3 children killed in Manchester it's not been a great news week for dads.

expatinscotland · 21/08/2006 22:58

'He literally must have bene out of his mind. '

Yes, I think that's pretty much the case. He was on ADs and yes, two of his brothers have committed suicide in the past.

This man was not right in the head at all.

Also, believe it or not, some ADs can make you suicidal and even psychotic.

sansouci · 21/08/2006 23:12

Yes, I've heard that, too. But for whatever reason, he did it.

expatinscotland · 22/08/2006 14:02

His wife now says he was a caring father who was suffering from mental illness.

Yes, he did it. All the more reason why mental illness needs to be taken more seriously.

FourJays · 22/08/2006 16:59

Well said expat.
Tragedy is that there are no villains in this piece and they all deserve our sympathy. Obviously especially the mum but I do really feel for the dad too. Csannot imagine the desperation.

Overrun · 22/08/2006 17:23

It sounds very like mental illness to me, with such a family history. In answer to a previous post, I don't think his daughter would want him to die. Whatever hes done, she is still his daughter and children being children will love him whatever.
How she will feel as an adult I don't know.
I just can't get that little boy out of my mind, maybe because I have three boys, but, oh thats all I can say, it's too awful

FourJays · 22/08/2006 17:28

I know. I just sat in their bedroom on Sunady after reading about it in papers and just watched them and felt so sad.

expatinscotland · 22/08/2006 21:14

I think when you have such a streak of mental illness in your family, you can feel like you've passed it on - and it is such an awful disease, you start to think, 'It'd be better if we all just went to the other world.'

No, it's not an excuse.

But from the sound of it, he is mentally ill and NOT thinking clearly when he did this at all.

MrsFio · 23/08/2006 08:16

I read a bit of what was in the papers yesterday and it just made me feel so so sad I also wondered what type of ADs he was taking and whether he was having severe side effects from them

its just so tragic

childern · 23/08/2006 10:20

depression can be passed down the family line, only know this because my sister is very bad with it and her doctor told her that because our dad had a break down it was in the genens.

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