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Original poster

Nigella. Would you have intervened?

113 replies

bkgirl · 16/06/2013 15:10

So sorry for Nigella. Shocked no-one intervened. Was it because they were famous?

May be totally wrong but given his age could it be dementia? Could that explain her reaction?

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2342414/Nigella-Lawson-choked-husband-Charles-Saatchi-pictures-spark-outrage.html

OP posts:
Deffodil · 16/06/2013 16:13

Someone on another thread suggested that he may have been feeling her glands,or something. You'd think that her first instinct would be to prise his fingers off,not to hold his other handConfused

Wishfulmakeupping · 16/06/2013 16:14

Yep I would have- I've intervened in the past when some teenagers were starting to get violent with a disabled lady and her children (what kind of world is this?!)

Morgause · 16/06/2013 16:15

I noticed nothing was mentioned in the Sunday papers reviews on the radio or on TV.

Tortington · 16/06/2013 16:15

no, becuase as someone else said further up, they both turn on you. she out of embarrassment and he out of anger.

however dh would have punched his lights out

Casmama · 16/06/2013 16:16

By all means have a discussion about the pros and cons of stepping in when you witness violence but to use this specific situation is unnecessary. Ophelia, I don't believe that you can KNOW how you or everyone else that you know would react.

Original poster
bkgirl · 16/06/2013 16:18

Casmama, the thread was actually directed about how the public responded. I frankly couldn't understand it although I think I do now.I don't think censorship helps, the fact it was in the papers may have encouraged her to help herself.

OP posts:
Wishfulmakeupping · 16/06/2013 16:20

Actually thinking a out this again if I've got my dd with me and something like this happens then probably not if just me then yes

AdoraBell · 16/06/2013 16:20

Normaly I would be concerned about him attacking her at home because of me intervining, but Nigella Lawson has the financial ability to have walked away from the restaurant and never looked back. So I might have gently reminded her that she doesn't have to put up with it.

MrsCampbellBlack · 16/06/2013 16:21

No.

My ex intervened in such a situation although was in a pub and ended up getting his face slashed.

I'd perhaps report afterwards though to the non emergency police number.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 16/06/2013 16:22

Casmama I have intervened numerous times when people have been violent to women in public, thanks. It's unacceptable and people should not stand for it or take photos like lemons on the sidelines.

Casmama · 16/06/2013 16:25

Fair enough Ophelia. For what it's worth I entirely agree with your sentiments but there is something about this thread that makes me really uncomfortable. However, as I am unable to articulate what it is,I'll leave it be.

chocoluvva · 16/06/2013 16:26

I think my instinct would be to leap up and intervene. But it's impossible to know what you'd do if you haven't been in that situation before. I can imagine myself just sitting there in shocked horror or disbelief.

MrsCampbellBlack · 16/06/2013 16:27

I think its easier to intervene if its a stranger being vile than when its clearly a DV situation.

I think the best thing to do is to ring the non-emergency police number - I can't see how intervening would make things better and it could potentially make things a lot worse for the victim who then goes home with him.

MrsCampbellBlack · 16/06/2013 16:28

I also think in that situation because they are famous people would be even less likely to intervene because there would be more disbelief.

I bet there have been rumours for a long time about CS, hence, the press just biding their time till they got a photo.

I feel very sorry indeed for Nigella but suspect that's the last thing she wants.

Mistyshore · 16/06/2013 16:29

I was being sworn at by abusive ex and a stranger intervened. He was told to fuck off too but it helped to make me realise that the relationship I was in wasn't normal. It's surprising how you forget what is reasonable when the abuse creeps up. I didn't get out right away but his gesture helped when I did finally LTB.

I look back and thank that lovely man on a street in New York (of all places)! His words were, "Sir, you don't talk to a lady like that" - not earth shattering words but kind, brave words from a man who doesn't know how much he helped me.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 16/06/2013 16:29

Casmama I think it's the voyeuristic aspect of it - someone's personal tragedy played out for all of us to discuss Hmm

cory · 16/06/2013 16:30

I have intervened in the past, but would be more worried about doing so if, as another poster said, the victim had to go home with the attacker afterwards.

ZZZenagain · 16/06/2013 16:33

I can't believe most people would simply continue with their meals whilst a woman is being choked or in any way obviously physically hurt at a nearby table. If so, that is very odd behaviour in my book.

What strikes me about this particular situation is that if a man is going to be violent towards his celebrity wife in a public arena such as a restaurant, what on earth is going on in the home?

yamsareyammy · 16/06/2013 16:49

The link I posted was from womens aid, and about domestic violence, as in Nigella's situation.

That is a different situation from say a disabled man getting set upon.

gaggiagirl · 16/06/2013 17:02

I really don't know what I would do so I can't even guess,but if my DP was there he would have torn the bastard a new arse hole.

LoopyLooplaHoop · 16/06/2013 17:14

I'm sure it may not help, but I can't imagine I would have sat and watched.

But never mind that, let's just hope she's OK

Dackyduddles · 16/06/2013 17:27

Too many people now sit back to let "someone" else do "something". From public to professional bodies. It is not good enough. You might not always be able to speak up for the moments that happen out of your line of sight but if the situation is in front of you then I believe you should stand up and say "no this behaviour is not acceptable".

Perhaps the pap in his own way has done this. Unsure those in the restaurant can say same unless they present themselves as witnesses to police.

I hope nigellas friends and family now look after her.

TSSDNCOP · 16/06/2013 17:33

I would have. I've done it before.

Ponyofdoom · 16/06/2013 23:32

100% agree with Mistyshore, when I was in an abusive relationship you start to normalise it, someone saying something does help you realise that its not normal nor OK. Yes it might mean the victim does get more abuse afterwards but I think overall it helps them to escape; though I am far from an expert and would be interested in more professional guidance. I think its right and moral to intervene and that those posters who have done so are brave.

hackmum · 17/06/2013 09:36

I have no idea what I would have done. I like to think I'd have intervened, but I don't know. I also don't know if it makes a difference if it's a famous person - that perhaps you feel more embarrassed about intervening.

I think the photographer must have been some distance away with a long lens - if he'd been standing next to them, Saatchi would hardly have continued attacking his wife. I imagine there are some photographers who follow Nigella around all the time and others who hang around celebrity restaurants in the hope of getting an interesting photo. So from their point of view, it wasn't a case of they just happened to be there, it was a case of waiting until they got the story they were looking for.

I did wonder in the People story how they got the reactions from the fellow diners. Did they have a reporter there too? Or did they just make the quotes up?