I know, that's what I mean. I'm not sure this could of been prevented. And people with no insight into red flags won't always be capable of developing it.
Quite.
The system couldn't cope with drastic intervention in terms of generationally dysfunctional families with fixed risk blindness. It is barely coping now,
But all multi generational chaotic families start somewhere. Where the heart of the matter is moderate to severe mental health or health issues unless we shore up the agencies in those areas they are more or less lost to a halt or a reversal. However, a fall into a chaotic family state is not a given, even when somebody is teetering on the cusp.
I'd suggest something like one prong going for developing minds and one going for adults.
Perhaps something like the Dutch sex/relationship ed programme "Long Live Love" in schools. Reworked for micro-cultural relevance if needed to address the areas where it might not be clear to youngsters what constitutes "good" and healthy love and what does not. With a structure that aims to give them clear strategies to identify "iffy" areas and the how/why of walking away before they are in too deep. Not least to counteract the bollocks so many of them are exposed to just from mainstream entertainment producers, let alone less than wonderful examples of love in their own home or community. Start it young and keep it going as part of FE or HE. If the gov is going to raise the leaving age it might be worth exploiting that to maintain attention during the timeframe when so many make their first forays into fully fledged relationships and become young parents. I personally wouldn't have any issue extending the programme to challenge to "Love is Enough and An Answer To All Critisim In its Own Right" and including "How Can I Be a Good Parent When I Become One" in that package that includes illustrating red flags and sensitising young people to their importance, their outcomes and where to calibrate their alarm system. Others may disagree.
I'd like to see something like that backed up with a beefed up school pastoral care system that can refer kids in a timely manner if it results in them bringing up issues in their own lives. (And I aplogise to people working in schools for suggesting that once again they get even more mission creep dumped on them)
For adults I think a social challenge to "victimhood as proof of non culpability due to lack of intension" is needed. While its intensions are good it lowers the bar among the "cusp walkers" and can sleepwalk them over the edge towards a fixed state of dysfunction while they chunter "don't judge me! It's not my fault!! I love my kids and I'm a good parent
despite the plethora of evidence to the contrary that demonstrates my standards and outlook need a reality check ". Using peer pressure and an unapologetic exploitation of most people's desire to be seen as a good parent. I'd pick social media/netowrkd as a medium because it is conversation based not just "talk at you" based and forces a "digestible" chunks approach. It would need to done with nuance, not a sledge hammer. I have no idea who you could put in charge of coordinating the seeding of something like that. Perhaps a collaboration between various children's charities and parent based business like mumsnet, netmums, that sort of thing?
It's not a super cheap solution, but I think tiny austerity budgets availble wise it might not be tood bad (but then I failed my maths o level so I cpuld be way off)
Good enough ? Anything like enough to do more than grab back just some future victims of families who are dangling just over the edge ? No.
Better a deeply polarised row after each and every tragedy ? Possibly.