I will be going back when my baby is 5 months ignores fact this is in 4 weeks.
I do not want to. But my partner earns £500 a month. I earn more than 4 times this.
My maternity pay is relatively generous in that it was 'full' pay for 8 weeks, 18 weeks half pay plus SMP. Then just SMP for 12 weeks. Then no pay for 12 weeks.
I saved up for my maternity leave.
I had to save for the 4 months with the £700 drop in them. If I wanted another month off, I'd of needed to save an extra £1500 per month off minimum.
I worked all my holidays when pregnant to save the extra money.
My mortgage do not allow you to take a payment holiday unless 80% LTV or less also ingores fact LTV is 120 fucking % grrr.
I had accepted I would have to go back with a baby that still doesn't sleep through the night.
What I didn't expect was to not yet have recovered from the birth itself. I have worried and worried and worried for months. Praying for a miraculous recovery. It hasn't happened.
So, my options are to go back, and be in poor physical health, and unable to perform safely the job required of me. And to be exhausted doing shift work full time with a baby who isn't sleeping yet and who has medical needs.
Or to be off sick. I feel terribly guilty that it looks like I will be doing that. I suspect I will be accused of all kinds. But the truth is, I am not able to safely do my job, and if I make a mistake, it is life or death. And my career at stake.
I am not sure how my own mum coped. She went back to work with me when I was 8 weeks. I take my hat off to her.
Most days I can't remember my name. My baby is 4 months. I hope this gets better. I can't fucking remember from my first child.