Has there been a thread yet about parents who want schools to tell them what time to send children to bed?

[emkana]

Haven't got particular article to hand, but I was just thinking about this because I'm enjoying the peace and quiet with both my dd's asleep.

I quite often go to the supermarket at 8.30 in the evening and am always surprised at how many young children (under 5s) are there shopping with their parents.

puddle, surley if they are under 5 then they will not be at school? and probably having daytime naps too, therefore I don't think it is all that shocking if parents choose that as an option. Perhaps they wait untill older siblings are in bed and Daddy is home doing stuff then take the youngest one with them so they get a realtivly peacfull shopping trip, daddy gets to do his thing and school age children get to go to bad. I would describe that as a winning combo personally.

However, I would have thought that most parents would be able to work out that if their child is out of sorts, grumpy, hyper or not learning then bedtime could be an issue.

There is a not insignificant group who seem unable to realise that. Hard to believe, but sadly true. Often the same ones who don't seem to take on board that kids need a proper breakfast, and not a bag of sweets and a can of coke.

Oh and the information tha sparked this thread came fro the Headmasters/mistresses conferance.

Really Secur? I cannot imagine why any parent (with a partner at home to supervise - can see it may be different for single parents) would put older children to bed and take a toddler to a supermarket at 8.30 at night. I always thought that for younger children the daytime sleeps were in addition to getting to bed at a reasonable time.

Some younger kids don't get up until quite late. Nothing wrong with them sleeping 9 to 9 or 10 to 10, before they're at school, as long as it suits the parents, obviously.

Actually, I think DS1 was going to bed around 8:30 or 9 when he was 2 or 3. But he would sleep for several hours in the afternoon, and got to see his dad in the evenings, no matter what, so this was a good solution for us.

Will the kids (and the parents) find it easy to make the adjustment of getting them to bed earlier once they start school?

Honest question, since both of mine have always had an early bedtime, as well as having a nap when they were younger.

I've never had a child on a 10 to 10 sleep schedule, but I had no problems moving DS1 from an 8:30 bedtime to a 7:30 bedtime. It's like the jetlag from Europe to the UK.

I suspect some of the parents with the strange sleep schedules for their kids aren't used to setting schedules for their kids, though, so will find it hard to start setting one when their kids have to be up at a reasonable hour in the morning.

Trie, the parents with tired kids often have a hoast of other issues as well.

Sadly some parents really do need parenting courses.

My kids have always had set bedtimes - when they were small 7 pm, and now in early teens, 9 pm on schooldays. But they are up just after 6 am each morning.

I am however assured by them both that they are the only children in their school who go to bed before 11 pm! Just like they were the last to have mobile phones.

I know so many parents who simply seem unaware of the need for kids of a certain age to get a certain amount of sleep.

And they also appear to not understand that lying in bed watching TV, is not actually the same as sleeping. My DB told me a story about his 7 year old godchild, who was at 8pm told to go to bed and when she protested that she was watching a film, the response from her parents was "Well watch it in bed then".

As if actually being in bed is the same as sleeping. Bizarre or what?

Televisions and computers are banned from bedrooms in my house. You can see why my kids want to leave home, can't you!!!

Fairyjay how old are your kids? I never want mine to have computers or tvs in their rooms but just get knowing smiles from parents of older kids when I say this - mine are 3 and 6 at the moment so not remotely an issue yet.

This thread made me laugh! My kids need loads more sleep than most - so I hate directives on bedtimes. DS2 is 7 today and he goes to bed at 6, lights out at 7! The other day he was reading a Robert Winston book which said that 7yr-olds needed 10.5 hrs sleep or something. So he calculated he shouldn't go to bed/sleep until 8.30 ...
I was incensed

Puddle,my oldest is 12 and I'm still hanging onto the No TV Rule for bedrooms.I just refuse to discuss it,no negotiations,nothing.
If he passes his GCSEs to the best of his abilities in 4 years I may agree to a small black and white.
(Can you still buy black and white tvs?)

MY DTS are 26months and they scream if they are not in bed by 7pm. We got them into a routine as soon as we could and bedtimes are like clockwork - bath, milk with story and bed. They will sleep until 7am and still sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon also. DH and I are happy because it means we have the evenings to ourselves. We also have lie ins at the W/E because even though they are awake, they babble to each other until we decide to make a move.

If you don't have a routine, imo you waste time and energy and that just creates stress for everyone. I really could not live in a disorganised and disharmonious household. Programs like Little Angels and Supernanny show time and time again that routines are the key because children know where they stand and have an idea of what to expect next. It puzzles me why some parents make life so difficult for themselves.

I just have to add my experience here. Both my children need very little sleep- they've been this way from being babies. They just don't get tired. Atm, they are 6 and 4, and go to bed at around 9 pm, regardless of day of the week. Without fail they bounce me awake at 7am. Often they will have been awake for some time before this though, they've just learnt not to wake me up!

They have ridiculous amounts of energy. Each girl does a full day at school, plus walking at least 2 miles a day. On top of this they have swimming, and a couple of other after school activites. I honestly can't get them to sleep any more. Believe me, I've tried. Earlier bedtimes just result in earlier getting up times, and I really can't cope with hyper kids who want to do stuff much before 7 am.

I do rather envy some of you!

Forgot to add- my family say I was the same. Maybe it's genetic?

wow I feel tired just reading that post vwvic

my 6.5 year old goes a bit bonkers if she doesnt have 12 hours on a school night

I have met a few people at playgroups/through the children's school who seriously did not realise that you could put your kids in bed at a different time to the adults.

I know that may sound mad to us but a lot of these people had no family nearby and very few friends who had children (they were out at work during the day). WHen I told one woman that my kids were in bed at 7pm she thought I was completely mad and hers (who were 3 and 5 at the time) were up till 11pm when they (the adults) went to bed. She tried to move their bedtime back, found it very difficult but persevered after she came round one night and saw with her own eyes that it was possible! Poor woman had her evenings totally reclaimed and her children's behaviour improved no end!

Some parents/families in this country get very very little support from anywhere.

Good lord foxinsocks, but didn't they get sent to bed earlier than their parents? Or have they just forgotten being a child themselves?

I am convinced that a large part of children's bad behaviour is due to tiredness. I feel shit and ratchety after a crap night's sleep and by day 5 of a run of late nights I feel murderous, it seems obvious to me that sleep-deprived kids are going to be bad tempered and unco-operative.

Is being "up of their own accord" neccesarily a sign that they are getting enough sleep. Or just that they are used to that routine. For ages after my children started sleeping through the night I would wake up "of my own accord" at 3am. Doen't mean I'd had enough sleep by then.

And how can adults not know that children can go to bed before them? That's just daft.

One of my friends has terrible ratty children, so bad I have been known to wonder to myself if they are normal. Then one night I went round to pick her up at 8pm and children (then around 2) were still eating tea, fully clothed and still had the whole bedtime wind down to go. No wonder they were so miserable during the day - they were worn out. Children need more sleep than adults, they can't keep the same hours as us and thrive.

There are no bedtime guidelines in the Well Child book we get - but actually it wouldn't be such a bad idea.