I am presuming that a lot of the posters on here who are casting doubt on OP version of events that we know of thus far have never experienced life in SA or indeed Africa outside of a trip to the Kruger or the V&A Waterfront at the very most.
Let me tell you some facts because your naivety is really starting to really P. me off:
people tend to drive cars which lock the minute the engine starts so they cannot be opened from the outside. When stopping at robots windows are up and again no stopping if their is an accident.
If there is a car accident people are advised not to step out of their car to politely exchange insurance details but instead to drive to a police station and report it there instead because there is a high chance robbery is a motive.
People live a fortified life behind high walls which have razor wire on the top or are electrified. Walls of houses which face out onto roads tend not to have windows and access is through a single metal or strong door only allowed once identity of person is known. The windows have burglar bars on them so that people can't climb in, internally houses tend to have lockable internal doors which means that they can lock themselves within certain areas of the house i.e metal door at the top of the stairs, so when they are asleep behind another locked door if somebody does break into their house they have a chance to call their Armed Response provider. Yes you need to pay to be linked to a system so when you press a panic button or make a phone, people armed with guns that will injure people or kill them come and try to stop this intruder who is 9/10 time - armed and high on Tic and quite happy to destroy your family to get enough money to feed his miserable addiction to alcohol and drugs. This is not a choice most insurers insist on it. Oh yes people also have big snarly dogs which are not pets but guard dogs in a vain attempt to scare people off.
If they are too scared of living in such a fortified place they have the alternative of living on a Secure Estate, like OP and providing they have enough money to get a bond, buy somewhere and pay the very high associated Homeowners costs they to can sleep better in their bed at night, as long as the security staff who actually police who goes in and out of these secure complexes have not got hacked off with seeing the life some people have before returning to their own shack and have taken a bribe to let some Tic-head through the gates who then produces a gun to the side of the sleeping homeowners head. So yes, even living on a secure estate is not a guarantee that you will go to sleep and wake the following morning. So a sound in the night can make you very jumpy, assume the worst and act in a manner that would not be seen in leafy Berkshire for example.
Going out to restaurants - you don't just walk in through the door and confirm your reservation but ring the bell and wait to be buzzed in through a secure locked-at-all-times door. No strolling down by the Waterfront on a summers evening after a few drinks or dinner because there is a very high chance you get robbed at best. So a braai at home or at another secure complex becomes normal.
Shall I go on? put the facts into a SA context it is the most amazing country in the world, fact IMO, however is has a horrific problem with violent crime. Don't condemn OP because what you would do in your bedroom in leafy Berkshire at 3am is not reach for you gun and shot to protect.