this teacher 'running away' with a 15 year old story

[germyrabbit]

why on earth is it such a big story?? i know she is underage but he is hardly kidnapping her.

Just seen breaking news! - Megan's been found in France!! And he's been arrested.

Good news.

Looks like they've been found. He's been arrested and she been taken into protection here

xpost

Fox, what has been reported that would suggest that he has been "grooming her for years*?

Oh that poor kid. Her head must be in a right old mess. She almost certainly considers herself in love with this wretched man, and now she will be feeling that it;s all her fault that he's going to prison. I hope her parents treat her with patience and kindness.

"I hope her parents treat her with patience and kindness"

So do I, and try not to make it about their upset feelings.

They've been found, thank goodness, and it seems the media coverage did lead play an important part in their discovery. So it served a purpose.

Also it seems there may have been computer entries/blogs on Forrests PC that caused concern, fantasies about strangling someone etc. Might not have meant anything but they couldn't take chances I guess.

Puts a different slant on things.

Thankfully they have been found. He has been arrested and she is now in protective care/

I worked as a secondary school for many years. I saw and heard many a 15y girl who thought they were mature, grown up, capable of all manner of things. I never actually met any who truely were grown up and ready to deal with complex adult emotions. They could do so on a 15 year old level, but not as an adult. A school child is NOT an adult. TBH a 16 or 17 year old school child is not an adult either in my experience.

TBH this girl has now shown that she is not as mature as she might like to think by running away with this man and not considering the worry she would be leaving in her trail.

But tbh all that is beside the point. The huge issue here is that he is her teacher and has been forming a relationship with this girl since she was 14 years old. He is at least double her age. It is wrong on so many levels, not least because he is committed a huge breach of trust. Teachers are not allowed to have relationship with their school pupils regardless of their age. Even if the teacher hd been a student teacher, just 3 or 4 years old - it would have been wrong and against all codes of practise. It's a crime.

The boy/girl thing I don't get. It would definitely be big news if a female teacher ran off with her 15y male pupil. Possible more so tbh as the situation would probably be seen as more unusual.

The were found because of the French media publishing pictures. Someone recognised them. So yes - it would appear that it was a good idea to keep having them on the front pages.

Would also appear that France has similar laws to use regarding teachers and pupils. So even though she is not "underage" a France the fact that he abused his position of trust as a teacher is an issue.

Hulababy Yes I think THAT is the bigger deal actually.

He abused his position of trust and it makes my blood boil that thousands of good honourable hardworking male teachers will now have to work that bit harder to gain the trust of the parents of their pupils, thanks to that prat.

His school must also face some tough questions about their safeguarding policies and training.

Exactly Bossy.

Apparently the school has already had a similar situation previously - staff and pupil.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-19717837

A Governor too... so this is the third such offence at that school over the last 3 years.

Would everyone be so nice with her. After the sheer relief of knowing she was ok i think i would be absolutelt incandescent. I mean all she had to do was a quick call to at least reassure everyone she was alive and well, even if she had no intention of coming back. really outrageous. I would serious struggle with that. I think the pain inflicted would last a lifetime.

Reddwarf, really???

So it's all down to her behaviour? You have no idea if she was stopped from using a phone/email wether by force or manipulation.

How about the relative authorities crack down on "responsible" adults abusing their trust. How about an severe look at child protection issues. How about a crack down on schools not investigating suspicsions better?

Why are you blaming a child??

I'm not. I would want the book throwing at him. But my dc know how much i worry if they are half an hour late home. I assume they could get an inkling of thenterror and distress their disappearance would cause.

The blame for the situation lies with him. But to not even get word out that she was ok is just terrible. While i think i would totally blame him, i think i would also be very hurt and angry that she didn't even let me know she was ok. This is just a hunch. Unless you experience that situation i guess you'd never know how you would feel. There's no way of knowing if he tried to prevent her calling. The news report i heard was that they were strolling along hand in hand when they were apprehended, so the dream wasn't over for them yet.

I can get that he is totally to blame for the situtation, running away with a kid is just unforgiveable. But does she not have any responsibility whatsoever for any of her behaviour or her choices? Kids from the age of 10 are deemed to know the difference between right and wrong in law. She must have known not to call was very wrong.

Otoh, she was clearly messed up and unhappy to run off with a man twice her age in the first place. Goodness only knows how messed up and angry she!s going to be now :(

Reddwarf - I think rather than take it personally - you'd have to try and get your mind off yourself and understand what she's been through - the whole experience from her shoes, and resolve to be be patient and focus on giving her the love and support she needs. She was the victim here and will be distressed and damaged to some extent - and needs time to recover.

It's not the time to be 'hurt'.

Reddwarf: While lightning can strike and all that, it sounds like this girl was 'groomed' by the teacher for quite a long time. Which does at least suggest that she was feeling a bit neglected and deprived of attention at home, for her to have fallen for it. And the way the parents' appeal was framed as 'We are suffering horribly, get in contact' does sort of suggest that they might have been a bit more concerned with their own feelings than hers all along.

I would imagine that with the best will in the world a 15 year old English girl would have a hard time finding a phone and making a call from France, maybe with no Euros, maybe without enough French to speak to an operator, and I would say her phone had possibly died and she had no way of charging it as electricity is different on the continent. And that's before any suspicions that she was prevented from contacting her family or friends by Forrest, or prevented from leaving his sight.

I rather imagine that they were both in the bubble of a fantasy world and caught up in the 'romance' - some excuse for a 14 year old but none for a 30yr old teacher.

Even well rounded, happy and non neglected teenagers can fall for being groomed. The fact that she fell for this man's fantasy and agreed to runaway does not mean she has to have had any sort of unhappy home life. I think at the moment it is unfair to point the finger towards the girls family. Maybe more will come out as time goes on, but it is dangerous to think this can only happen to neglected or unhappy children. It sadly can happen in any family.

Very true -Hulababy.

When I was 16, in 1985, I began a relationship with my 30 year old youth club leader.

My Mum was horrified and tried to point out it was an abuse of a trusting teacher -pupil relationship.

Of course, I couldn't see this.

To cut a very long story short;

We lived together as soon as I was 18 and got married when I was 22. It seemed the natural progression for me. A few years later I tried to end the relationship and the emotional blackmail started. We eventually divorced 10 years after we had got together, but I have been labelled as the Bad Guy because I left For No Good Reason.

The intoroduction of the law criminalising this in 2003 was a good thing.

Poor Megan probably has fallen hook line and sinker for him but he will have had the life expereince to know how to persuade her (also known as grooming). He may think he is in love but the whole situation is very wrong. He probably has some Peter Pan thing going on - dosn't want to grow up and still thinks he is a teenager.

I feel very sorry for his wife. She must be going through hell.

Purple, I've known a few stories not unlike yours where it's not as simple as "happy ever after. I've been aghast at many comments on the internets this past week insisting he was "silly" but not bad, that theirs is a sweet story of love and they should be left alone (and the worst ones, assuming she some how seduced and let him astray because that's what teen temptresses do you see.)

This article in the Guardian gives a bit more realistic picture of what often happens next when an adult in a position of responsibility and power abuses that trust by embarking on a sexual relationship with a young person in their care. I wish all those people caught up in their Romeo and Juliet fantasies could be forced to read this.