Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
News
Original poster

Why do these cowardly bastards do this?

21 replies

BuntCadger · 02/09/2012 10:47

I heard on radio that 2 children aged 11 and 3 have been found dead in a flat with a man (dead) in 30's. Police are treating childrens deaths as suspicious and not looking for anyone else. That usually means its a murder suicide. Why why why why kill innocent children? Fine kill yourself,but the children have a full life ahead. The 11 year old would have been starting senior school next week and those poor kids must've been terrified. :( similar ages to my boys and the thought of someone doing that to them is just horrendous.

OP posts:
BlackberryIce · 02/09/2012 10:50

Yes, just like the mother in active convos who killed her dd.. She got 12 years. That's all

It's sad

WitchOfORANGEdor · 02/09/2012 10:53

It is horrendous and it seems to be happening more often (although maybe I notice more now I have DS). I can't imagine how devastating this must be for everyone who knew and loved those children Sad

SirBoobAlot · 02/09/2012 10:54

Its horrific :(

Original poster
BuntCadger · 02/09/2012 10:54

That was the exnurse wasn't it?

Just so Sad and avoidable. There are parents who lose their children in horrible accidents and to illness. Then people do this? Just awful

OP posts:
BlackberryIce · 02/09/2012 10:56

Yes, ex nurse. A very very cruel and nasty woman. The details of that case are horrific. As is every case where little children are murdered

My thoughts are with that mother this morning.

Original poster
BuntCadger · 02/09/2012 10:57

I don't normally post about stuff like this as I'm not rubbernecking. But hearing it when sat at breakfast with my dh and 3 scrummy kids, I just looked at them and couldn't fathom ever how anyone could. My ds1 (12) would fight and protect his little bro (4) and sister (10m). The poor children in this story SadSadSad

OP posts:
BlackberryIce · 02/09/2012 11:00

I saw very brief details in the news last night.

It does seem to happen more and more.

slartybartfast · 02/09/2012 11:06

we do react different to the men who do it, i thought when reading this news. but i do think we feel it is more unbelieable for a mother to take her child's life. pehraps that is because I am a mother.
the men are bastards, the women, we have an iota of sympathy - generlaly

zebrazoo · 02/09/2012 13:32

I have seen way too many of these cases in the news over the last 6 months, seems to really be escalating

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/09/2012 14:18

I think that, in order to do this, the balance of someone's mind must be very disturbed. I have experienced the sort of disordered thinking that tells you that suicide is a valid and sensible option - it is a very scary feeling, and I honestly believe that, in order to actually commit suicide, your thinking must be even more disordered than I have experienced - because you honestly believe you are better off dead, and don't realise how much pain you will leave behind.

Given this level of disordered thinking in someone who is suicidal, it is not that big a leap for me to believe that the balance of someone's mind could be sufficiently disturbed that they believe that death is the best option for their children.

None of which makes it any less terrible, of course.

Solopower · 02/09/2012 15:13

It could be as you say, SDT, people who want to kill themselves, but can't see any future for their children when they are not there. They want to protect their children from the effects of a parent's suicide, so they take them with them.

But I think it is more often than not directed at the other parent - to teach them a lesson. It seems to happen when their partner is on the point of leaving, or has just left. The parent who has been left becomes obsessed with getting their own back, and will do anything to hurt the other parent. I read it (fairly or unfairly) as a sort of vicious adult temper tantrum - a bid for control by some deeply manipulative and massively unhappy people. People who see their children as theirs, to do what they want with, not as beings with an independent right to life.

Shoshe · 02/09/2012 15:27

I live where this has happened, and local Fb pages are saying i was an accident, dont know how much is true.

But should we be jumping to conclusions till the Police have finished their investigations.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/09/2012 16:06

Wouldn't you have to be mentally unstable/ have severely disordered thinking to think that revenge against a spouse/partner was a good reason to kill your own child?

Solopower · 02/09/2012 16:31

Yes, I should say so, SDT! (But I'm not a psychiatrist).

Poor poor children to be caught up in something like that.

Shoshe I agree, and was only speaking generally. I have no idea what was going on in this case.

BlackberryIce · 02/09/2012 16:42

The BBC have further details now Sad

avenueone · 02/09/2012 17:05

My heart is breaking for those poor children and their mother and wider family.
It wasn't long ago a father gassed himself and children. I agree with the posters about it happen more and more or seeming to.
I agree with solo that the motivation is often to get back at the mother.
I think it has affected me a little more than usual as my ex now wants to see my ds all of a sudden after NEVER having met him in 7 years - I fear his motivation and the current court system that allows unchecked unsupervised contact (and some do gooders on here that don't fully understand the risks as their life doesn't involve them).
Much more needs to be done to protect children - much more.
I will be interested to see how this unravels and hope lessons are learnt.
I think society has become too passive and we too can play our part if we suspect someone it as risk - too many look the other way.

Solopower · 02/09/2012 17:27

Avenueone, if you suspect his motivation, maybe you should discuss your concerns with someone? It doesn't have to be a legal person - even a member of the family who knows you both might be able to help. It's really hard to deal with this on your own.

avenueone · 02/09/2012 18:02

Thanks solo, a number of people know and they are doing what they can but we all feel quite shocked at how the current system operates - we will just have to see how it all works out. I can't say my health is benefiting from all this.

Solopower · 02/09/2012 18:58

There are some things the court systems simply can't prevent, unfortunately, and they could unintentionally make things worse. You know your ex better than they do and maybe you are better able to assess the risks?

But if you told the Social Services that you were worried about your ex having unchecked unsupervised access to your son, would they not act on that information, and provide someone to chaperone your child when he meets his dad?

avenueone · 02/09/2012 20:12

It may start that way but would quickly move on to unsupervised.
I will have to see how things progress - luckily my DS is pretty strong and if things don't feel right to him he will let people know. Having said that he has been very upset at the thought of meeting a stranger - my DS currently has a wonderful life, a childhood I would have dreamed of and whilst in principal it would be wonderful if he had a wonderful dad too the reality is not that, which I guess is ultimately my fault. I will continue to pass on the information I know as things move on and see what happens but my ex lives a very undercover life, rarely tells the truth including to the benefits agency and it is hard to get information. If he relies on benefits for himself I don't know how he thinks he can start supporting a child. My ds currently wants for nothing (within reason lol) I don't want him in a house that always has blinds down with no food in.. its just scary. At 7 he is so vunerable.

Not heard much more news on this case... I am also upset about the poor girl whoes parents have disappeared from the boat?

BlackberryIce · 02/09/2012 20:15

My ex told me he would take the kids if we split (suicide)

When we did split i went to a refuge and told them if his threats.... Cafcass and the judge were concerned enough to give zero contact. Nothing.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread