Andy Coulson, Rebekah Brooks and others charged

[NicholasTeakozy]

BBC article. Good.

TBH I make most of them up goml

And there speaks the tabloid journalist

Seriously, a little while ago I was looking for a case study of a woman who'd survived a plane crash goml.

But I try not to use people I know in the very real chance that they'd never want to speak to me again.

Well it wasn't that exciting.

It was a small plane (an Embraer fwiw) and it took off from Clermont Ferrand. I was idly looking out the window and noticed that we were bloody close to the tops of trees. The engine was making an awful noise but as it was a dozy small aeroplane I assume that was normal. Then it just dropped and landed with a bump, and hurtled down the runway, looked out the window and there was smoke everywhere and fire engines. They chucked us off the plane and we all just stood there in bewilderment at the (very disappointing) smoke.

We then waited in the very small provincial airport where THE BAR WAS CLOSED and good old Bruce came over to chat me up.

It's not like that bloke landing his plane on the Hudson. Very boring.

I could have knocked something into shape from that.

My girl was involved in an almost certain death spin at the end of which her boyfriend proposed to her in Arrivals.

By the time I'd finished with it.

And she got £50

Fucking hell! I could have elaborated that crap story for £50.

The flames were MASSIVE, it was like a towering inferno, we had to escape the plane via that blow up slide thingy, and there were 2 babies, a nun, a child in a wheelchair and a terminally ill old man on board, as well as a liver which was due to be transplanted.

It was like a Holby City special double episode.

Yeah, I realised afterwards I could have got away with £25. £30 tops.

Sometimes the kindness of my heart runs away with me.

Luckily it's not likely to run very far.

The bar was closed? FFS. Quelle horreure.

Oh and I hope Cameron's brain cell is finally in panic mode.

Cameron's brain cell.

I've already been through the possibility that people aren't as old as me with goml but I'm going to risk it again.

Do you remember early computer games where you played tennis?

I imagine Dave's brain cell to be like the spookily green electronic 'ball' going 'spuck' as he shuttles between one shitfest and the next.

Oooh yes. Bat and ball on my BBC model B.

Altari space invaders?

yes I remember that game.

I also had one of those round things with 4 lights which lit up in sequence which you had to remember. I imagine little George Osbourne's face doing that like he is doing fiendishly hard sums in the treasury.

I always wanted one

That's it. Simon.

It was crap.

I imagine wee Danny Alexander's face, busy thumbs trying to turn on his calculator, his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth.

Danny.

Toddler's name, toddler's brain.

Liberal democrats

So are any politicians actually going to be nervous about this? Or are they actually all too stupid?

I imagine Dave's brain cell to be like the spookily green electronic 'ball' going 'spuck' as he shuttles between one shitfest and the next.

Limited that is brilliant! :o Now whenever I see his massive lightbulb head I'll imagine his brain as being a game of Pong.

I often look at Gideon at PMQs trying to count beyond 10 and then 20 which is a bit difficult because he has to wiggle his toes in his Churches.

Then he looks a bit consternated before having that contented look that toddlers have of 'ooh, what's that nice warm feeling in my nappy?'

It feels the whole world is going to come to a standstill.

Bloody double dip recession (do you know what that is george? Perhaps the nice gentleman will show you a pretty graph to make it easier). Spain going beserk. The euro going mad. Downgrading the Germans. Banks just carrying on regardless making shit up.

And these awful retro politicians like something from the Tory party 100 years ago. Laissez Faire a go go.

blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/damianthompson/100171984/cameron-osborne-and-friends-adolescent-snobbery-at-the-heart-of-government/

I like this article.

I love Damian Thompson on the rudeness of Dave and the less assured, though consquently more aggressive, rudeness of Gideon who only went to St Paul's.

I don't share their views but I respect outsider Tories such as the elegantly vicious Simon Heffer and that oiky poof (he'd be okay with that, I think) Andrew Pierce from the Mail.

We are being led by a shower of shite and every time like this morning when I rejoiced at the GDP figures I get depressed because they don't know what the fuck they're doing and they don't even know it.

Yes he is great. I like reading the Telegraph

I have a lot of (admittedly grudging) respect for a lot of tories, know thine enemy and all that. I will never agree with their viewpoints but a lot of them are very strongly principled.

Not this shower though. And I reserve my deepest loathing (and always have) for lib dems. Nasty small minded party.

Who knew that we would look back in 2012 and wish that the country was led by someone fundamentally decent like John Major.