I live close to Dunblane and at the time of the shootings worked for the local Council.
From the very earliest reports coming in, my then boss mentioned Thomas Hamilton - he said that it had to be him. This was before it was all confirmed.
I remember it as a very strange day and it seeming very unreal that such a thing could be happening on our doorstep. I was 26 at the time; had no children of my own then, Thank God but I remember seeing staff literally fleeing into the car park to drive home presumably because their children attended Dunblane Primary School.
I knew one family whose daughter was in Primary one and whose father had died of cancer only weeks before. I remember distinctly just thinking, "Please God, don't let it be X, her poor mother just couldn't be asked to bear any more". Thankfully for this family, the daughter was in the "other" primary one class.
Hamilton held a grudge against local schools and the local authority because he had been prevented from holding his "Boys Clubs" in Council run properties (including schools)because there had been a general unease about his practices. However none of the parents had lodged a formal complaint. Hamilton took the local authority to the Local Govt Ombudsman and won his case and so the Council was unable to stop him from using their premises.
I spent the day helping out at the Council's press office and fielding calls from some of the most insensitive and sensationalist newspaper reporters. I couldn't believe some of what we were being asked about. We had been given a very strictly to be adhered to press statement and were allowed to release one official school photograph but that was very much it but some people were really dredging for the most awful details.
It was a day that I still think about every now and again for no apparent reason. It still seems somehow surreal and as a parent now myself, I find it an obscenely horrible thing to try to imagine how it must have felt for the parents at the time and to this day. I know I'll weep buckets at the tv coverage but will feel compelled to watch it. I think the difficulty is that we try to make sense of these terrible events but often there is no sense to be had.