Closer magazine"s benefit bashing story features a carer.

[carernotasaint]

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2152115/UK-benefits-family-12-live-50k-handouts-appear-Daybreak-defend-controversial-lifestyle.html

Only three are the woman's it said she is step mum to the other 7.

I do agree with her tho they have put her in the position that if she got a job she couldn't afford the house. That doesn't help encourage people to go out to work. This is something that bugs me, for the amount they are paying out on rent the housing benifit could cover mortgages on at least 2 houses, why oh why doesn't the local authorities just buy more houses instead of paying this rent?

Sorry , maybe i was young and stupid. I did return to work 8 weeks after dd1 was born, dh became a stay at home dad and looked after her (i didn't want her in child care until she was 2.5 anyway), by the time she was 3 she clearly had sn's (ASD) and finding a nursery thart would take her and understand her needs was hard and no childminder would take her, when dd2 was diagnosed too i gave up work as i could not find child care. How could i have planned on having 2 children with sn's and why would i have thought about childcare (i didn't have kids to have someone else look after them).

Can you all honestly say that you thought about childcare before having a child?

god forbid the couple actually contemplated working and - oh I don't know - paying for their own accommodation.

The thing that annoyed me the most about the article was the statement from the man about the fact he can work for a bit then needs to sit down ' feels dizzy' I think he said. He feels his problems exempt him from work of any kind.

I don't buy it. I think he has got too comfortable on his arse.......

I work with two chronic conditions. Somedays its hard but you get on to provide. I would be better off at home but don't. People like him get up my nose and I am not benefit bashing. Closer has salicious stories every week to sell magazines. And she 'works' too much to be a carer I thought?

"god forbid the couple actually contemplated working and - oh I don't know - paying for their own accommodation."

But the sort of work they are talking about (shop work) would not pay for a £1700 a month rent although it would pay for rent on a council house.

I know many many un lazy people in Council accommodation who work very hard but for whatever reason the types of jobs they do just don't pay enough for private rent/mortgage they just need a little help when it comes to having a home.

Can you all honestly say that you thought about childcare before having a child?

Um......yes......and I think I'd be in the majority. Most people do think about finances before having a family- will one of them be a SAHP, will they both work, if so, what childcare will they use? Benefits are a safety net, not a lifestyle choice.

And please don't play the "i didn't have kids to have someone else look after them" card. many families in the UK have 2 working parents because they don't want to rely on the state. If everyone thought like you, the country would be more bankrupt than it is already.

Re 3 vs 6, the point is that once the 3 she already had were in school, she could probably have afforded childcare and got a job, had she not then gone on and had another 3.

I can't imagine not thinking about childcare at all before having a child (I'd include thinking about the SAHP option in that though). It's surely by far the biggest expense for most parents, whether it's paying nursery fees or giving up one salary to have a parents at home - for us it's one of the biggest things we think and worry about in deciding if/when to try for a baby.

Of course you can't predict what special needs your child might have, and things don't always turn out the way you plan for one reason or another. It just seems a little odd not to even give it a thought, unless you're so wealthy that it doesn't matter.

I didn't think about childcare but thn my first was a delightful surprise

Rich, i do not scrounge, i look after my children out of choice, i don't rely on the state, my husband works, we pay are rent and council tax, my children get DLA because they have SN's (this money goes towards them). When i had children i planned on looking after them until they were enitled to free child care (my choice, i would rather be skint and spent time with my dc's), i planned on returning to work when the dc's were in education, sadly i can't do this as i have to attend appointments most weeks and i often have meetings at school and often have to attend to my dd's due to their isuues (i could not plan for this before having them).

I choose to not use child care but the choice has been made harder due to the fact my children have sn's. I am not a scrounger, i have payed my taxes and to me 'spending time with my children is more important than money'.

Marne what I meant was, if no-one thought about childcare before having children (or factored it into how many children they have), then the country would be bankrupt.

Your personal circumstances are as they are, but my comment re the family in the OP is that people shouldn't willfully bring about situations that they know will increase their dependency on the state just because "I want".

If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride, as my Gran would say.

Sadly a lot of people dont consider child care or how they are going to provide for their children. When i had kids i think i underestimated how much they cost and how much child care could cost. I know there are some people who just think its ok to scrounge and live off the state (i know a few).

I also think the family in question are capable of working and not claiming of the state but have become lazy, sadly lots of people see bennifits as an easy way out.

Childcare is ridiculously overpriced in the UK, especially considering how little individual workers are paid.

He sounds an arse, he sometimes gets migraines every 3 weeks, she is in the charity shop but he doesn't do any housework .
I get a debilitating migraine every bloody month.

I get told I shouldn't need to be a full time carer as I have two in school and one in nursery.

Of course that doesn't accommodate the six or seven hospital appointments per month where I have to pick up and take back to school, the hospital admissions, sickness, school holidays (where NO appropriate child care can be found for three kids with autism and other complex needs) etc. Plus all the paperwork I have to do when I'm not doing all the above.

Lots of situations look cushy on the surface. I've not read the article but I'm disgusted by what I hear of it, the last thing people with disabilities and their carers need is this kind of tripe in the press.

'I gave up work before I met Ian because I had three children under 5 and I couldn't work and afford childcare.

She had her 3 children then she met him. They haven't had any more since they met. She was working when her eldest was 2. So presumably splitting up with the previous partner brought in childcare issues.

But, as I said above, childcare can't be an issue for them now if she's working 40 hours in a charity shop.

If she takes a paid job, they won't lose all the help they get now.

She'll move on to tax credits and get top up housing benefit. If she only earns £200 a week, then they'll still get £200+ per week towards the rent.

Though, thinking about it, they will lose free school meals and any associated freebies for 6 dependents. FSMs will be worth around £50-£60 a week.

'her husband has a mirgraine once every 3 weeks - he doesn't need a fucking carer.' Have you ever had a migraine, Nancy? A proper, real migraine, not just a bad headache?

I have. Once and only once thank god. It was fucking awful. I actually thought I was dying. I couldn't see properly. Every tiny noise was painful. Moving my head even slightly was painful enough to make me vomit. Light was painful.

All I was capable of was sitting in a dark room and sobbing sliently whilst throwing up from the pain.

There is no way in hell I would have been capable of caring for my children had I been alone. I wouldn't even have been able to pick up a phone to call for help with them.

Did I need a carer? No. It only lasted about 4 hours. Had it lasted longer (some people can have migraines that last days or weeks) then yes, I dare say i would have needed help because there is no way I would have been physically able to get out of bed and fetch myself pain meds or drinks without collapsing and/or throwing up from the pain.

If she gets carers allowance, then a doctor agrees that he needs help with day to day living when he is ill. It is not easy at all to get a doctor to agree to that.

Yet again the Daily Fail is printing sensationalist tripe designed purely to whip up anti benefits hysteria and yet again supposedly educated people are falling for it

The title of the article is 'family of 12'. That isn't correct. Only 6 of the 10 children live with them, so 4 of his children are living elsewhere, either 16+ or living with mum/grandparents.

Dome - yes, I suffer with migraines. I become light sensitive, disorientated and often vomit. I've had them since I was 14. Sometimes I get one a fortnight, other times I can go 4 months without one.

They're a pain. But I don't need a carer. I have still managed to work full-time for more than 20 years.

I suspect the woman has just used the phrase 'carer' as she'd heard it banded about

Why do people like this put themselves in the firing line anyway? The mother seems to be pretending that she really is 'sad' that it's 'come to this'. I don't actually believe her I'm afraid. As for voluntary work bashers, I run a volunteer centre and we get so many people with 'additional' needs who are desperate to get out of the house/home/place they live, but genuinely cannot find paid work, that I have now employed a Supported Volunteering worker to help them do something. To be honest, if the husband in this scenario wanted to do something on those days he doesn't feel unwell, he could easily get some voluntary work - and yes, he could not go in on the days he wasn't up to it. It seems clear to me that yes, this highlights the stupidity of the benefits system but it also shows that some people do feel 'entitled' and almost proud that they can 'get away with it'. It's very annoying.

Because they get paid

I thought about childcare before having kids. I went back to work when ds1 was 9 weeks and the same with ds2.

Then I started college when ds3 was 6 months old.

By the time I had ds4 two had been diagnosed with autism, we'd had to move away from family and childcare had dried up. now ds4 is looking at diagnosis.

I still want to work but it doesn't matter how much I thought an dplanned, childcare has dried up for my boys- ds1 at almost 13 is too old for local childcare anyway but unable to care for himself after school.

As it happens I am looking for work and DH is going to share the caring with me but you can think about childcare all you like there's no point in holding yourself superior becuase life has no guarantees and it isn't always that easy.

It isn't that easy to find voluntary work, I know- i've been trying.

It depends on where you live- where I am tehre are a few universities that gave up organising work experience (and made the organising staff redundant I suspect) and told students to contact local charities, they need the hours to graduate so someone like me whose skills are good (used to be a charity paid employee and have almost finished a PT MA in Autism) but has varied availability is surplus to requirements.

I am sure that is different elsewhere, at least I assume it is.

Migraines do vary; twice I have had hemiplegic migraines where I couldn;t use my arm. If someone had that regularly Lord help them! And whilst it doesn't apply to this man, some people ARE disabled by migraines that occur every day or more; even if you could work on those days, who could employ you when you need 50% time off?

MrsGuy, I cannot afford childcare for my DS because he is autistic - I therefore claim benefits and do the childcare myself. Sometimes you cannot predict certain things....although to be fair I could indeed afford childcare when DS was conceived and during his early years. In large families there may be many children but the family could be blended....don't know if that is the case in this family as I cannot be arsed to read the article which is bound to be the usual judgemental shite.

The mother wants to work but can't afford to because of the money in benefits she would lose. Not sure why she should be condemned for a failure in the benefits system.